Run, Bike, Swim, Fight!

Falling Open

2011-01-25T18:50:00.008-05:00

I've added to my New Year's resolutions: At least one blog post a month! Honestly though I have so much to write about these days I want to do more. With my semester starting tomorrow, I thought I'd at least try to get one more post in. I've been successful in keeping up with yoga as a daily practice. Even though it's only been a few weeks since I've started I already feel a lot of rewards. Taking a half hour or more every day for myself has been important. "Me Time" has been one of the things I've missed the most about my previous gym rat lifestyle. Yoga has helped me gain more acceptance of myself. At the end of every practice, when the old thoughts of "Oh this isn't enough of a workout, do more" begin to rise I tell myself, "This is enough, I am enough." Then I think about all the benefits one can attain just from yoga practice and I feel so much better about myself and where I am right now.

We've all had our memory jogged by places and scents. Through daily practice I've found that my memory and emotions can be brought forth by poses. Every time I'm in Downward Facing Dog and I move my left leg forward so it's between my hands to do a lunge, I am so grateful. A month after surgery that pose was impossible for me. Now it's a reminder of healing, of progress and hope. Most days, when I do Baddha Konasana I find my left knee coming closer and closer to the ground. And some days, I'm tight, and it doesn't go so far. I don't get discouraged as much anymore. I know that each day my body is different and especially now that my hip is going through ART (Active Release Technique). Muscles are loosening, scar tissue is releasing, there is a lot going on and that's just in my hip!

Besides doing yoga I've been focusing on a "detoxifying diet"*. Most days I have a green smoothie that consists of kale, broccoli sprouts, tart cherry juice, fiber supplement with probiotics, shredded carrots, aloe juice, frozen blueberries and frozen mangoes. Some days I also try to add brown rice protein. This smoothie is a combination of foods that help both my stomach (the now latent gastritis/h. pylori) and reduce inflammation. I recently found out that broccoli sprouts are really good for controlling h. pylori, which is awesome! I'd rather have broccoli sprouts as a preventative than take Mastic Gum and Monolaurin when I feel symptoms acting up (as in when it's already too late). I've been eating a later, "second breakfast" of oatmeal with flaxseeds and raisins or craisins to keep me going until lunch time. Most recently I've tried to make quinoa for breakfast, and I've got to admit I really like it! I've been doing really well at making big, filling, delicious salads with some help from my friend Diana and Gena at Choosing Raw's awesome blog post "How to Build a Meal Sized Salad". In a world where I have all the free time I could want, I would love to write about different foods, their benefits and how to integrate them into your diet.

Last Saturday was the first day in three months that I didn't have noticeable hip pain! I spent most of the day so happy, so grateful that I'm feeling proof that all my efforts, all the pain I go through in ART is paying off. Overall I've seen a significant decrease in my daily aches and pains. I know that I'm going to continue to have ups and downs, but I feel I'm doing everything I can mentally and physically to push through the hard days. I know now that if I push myself too hard, even if its doing upper body strength training, it can set off a chain of reactions within me that can send my body back months. I hope to continue all the hard work I've been doing this winter break and keep with it through this next semester – hell, through the rest of my life.

I must note that the title of this post comes from a yoga philosophy blog by the same name that I have recently discovered and really enjoy. I've been working a lot at opening myself, to my own body and to those around me. It's just another way I've been trying to heal and that's helped by yoga practice. I've come across a lot of blogs and such that I really enjoy and have made an impact on me. Please check out:
The Everything Yoga Blog
Jennifer O'Sullivan at iHanuman
Flying Yogini
Brené Brown's TED Talk

* Note: I don't mean "detox" like I'm following some set plan by some guru, quack, former model, current celebrity where I drink water with maple syrup and lemon juice, fast for days, subsist on juices or anything like that. I mean "detox" in the sense that through research I've mish-mashed together an idea of foods that are good for me. Some of this has been through trial and error since I've started eating a healthy, mostly plant-based diet: Eating what I've noticed my body likes and avoiding what my body doesn't like. The main foods I avoid: sugar, dairy, coffee and alcohol. All of which are foods that increase inflammation. Oh and I've added in a lot more greens and antioxidant rich foods, ie foods that reduce inflammation.

9 Months Post-Op

2011-01-12T12:09:00.007-05:00

Three months have passed since my last post, and not that much has changed. The cortisone shot that I had didn't do anything. Bad News: I received no relief from the pain. Good News: That means the pain isn't coming from my hip joint. It was good to know that I could stop worrying about the actual hip joint and focus on the muscles around my hip. Through regular massage via the amazing Jessica (intuitivelotus.com) and tennis ball humping I was as close to pain-free as I've been since before the tear. A week or so before Thanksgiving I was feeling so much better that... I started running. Yes! Running! I ran a mile in 15 minutes or so, ok... that's not running that's "jogging" or whatever, but in any event I was going in a forward direction faster than walking. Muscle memory is incredible. Although I hadn't ran in a year I felt my body moving as though only a few weeks had passed. I had to keep slowing myself down. My whole body tingled with glee on that first "run". I ran again that week, two miles in one week after almost a year of zero.

On Thanksgiving, with my boyfriend's family acting supportive but worried, I went out into the freezing rain and ran a mile. It felt awesome although it was simultaneously freezing. Unfortunately the next day I went to the gym, and I pushed myself a little too far. I'm not mad at myself. I have to relearn my boundaries every day. Every day is a test of what I can and can't do. There is no clear forward/linear direction in this healing process. (I will get to more of that later.) So I overdid it at the gym not running (I stopped when I was starting to have the old shooting pains, my hip had had enough.) but with tiny stupid weights. I was trying to strengthen my back and triceps to prepare for swimming again. I am completely useless in the water unless I have built up my arms and back. I ended up pulling the muscle that runs along the bottom of the scapula; so badly in fact that I had to take muscle relaxers and sit with a heating pad on my back for a week. After several days of using the heating pad, then doing the yoga pose plow, my back returned to normal – but my hip returned to a near constant state of pain. I'm sure the fact that I pulled a muscle that is right next to where my psoas connects to my spine did not help my situation.

I went to a follow-up appointment with my orthopedic a few weeks ago. Luckily (or not so luckily) the pain in my groin was flaring pretty bad that morning. I made my doctor feel where I was experiencing the pain. The thing with orthos is, no matter how great they are, they are concerned with bones and joints, that's it. The surrounding muscle and fascia could be on the moon for all they care. Once he felt where the muscle was pulling he had a very surprised expression on his face. "It's... it's like a cord! That's... impressive!" "That's not impressive," I responded, "it f*cking hurts!" He decided to refer me to Dr.Orefice at Active Health. I went to my first appointment with Dr.Orefice last week. He decided that he will mostly be using ART or Active Release Techniques to help my psoas calm down and break up scar tissue. I really hope that this is finally the procedure I need to break up the sh*t residing in my hip. During the first visit, even though it was painful I felt that he was getting to the major sources of my pain. OK, so what is ART and how does it work?

From Active Health's website:
"ART providers utilize highly developed tactile skills and knowledge of physiological symptom patterns to locate scar tissue adhesions on and in between muscles and nerves. A precise hand or thumb contact is applied to the correct area (tension to the tissue) and the recipient is directed to move the effected region of the body through a specific range of motion (muscle is shortened then lengthened). This causes the muscles to slide under the ART providers contact. This technique has proven to rapidly break up scar tissue and yield recovery of many types of soft tissue pain conditions found in the work place and in sports."

2010 was a long and frustrating year. I've decided that this year, in order to better deal with my pain and anxiety issues I will try to be a more faithful yogi. I came across the book "A Year of Living Your Yoga: Daily Practices to Shape Your Life" by Judith Hanson. As I was searching to see if there were any blogs that reviewed 'A Year of Living Your Yoga', I came across a blog called Yoga Dork. Yoga Dork is just one of the blogs trying to practice yoga daily and put into practice Hanson's daily insights to approaching life and yoga. So I will be trying to do yoga every day, on days where my psoas/hips are really tight I will be practicing my new favorite type of yoga: yin yoga.

I've been doing home practice since most of the yoga classes in this area (at times I'm available) are vinyasa. Though every teacher is different, I've found that most vinyasa classes move too quickly. I've always preferred slower paced yoga, being able to stay in poses and really enjoy their full benefit. I've noticed great improvement in my flexibility since practicing yoga regularly a month or so after the surgery and now. Practicing has made me grateful for how far I've come. Even though I still experience pain, my hip has more flexibility and is able to do more poses without modifications.

I set up an account with MyYogaOnline.com so that I can practice using their videos. MyYogaOnline provides videos of a wide variety of yoga styles. Classes range from a quick 15 minutes to longer hour and a half sessions. They also have pilates videos and guided meditations. This year, besides continuing with grad school, I hope to make further progress in my recovery. It is my intention that through regular yoga practice I can learn to be more patient with my body and regain a higher awareness of its ups and downs, and learn to respect whatever it may be able to do day by day.

6 Months Post-Op

2010-10-21T11:48:00.008-04:00

So, to say I've gotten a little behind in blogging is quite the understatement. School, work, life, post-surgery care have all been much more important to focus on than this blog. When I have any spare time, I'm trying to do PT or exercise or just RELAX! I also haven't had a lot of fun and happy things to report. My recovery is going much slower than I was told and I'm still having pain. The pain is pretty persistent in my groin, on the front of my leg where my hip and upper thigh meet, and my butt. I have been trying everything to help with the pain. Natural remedies, not so natural remedies, pilates, yoga, massage, you name it. AETNA, who are BASTARDS, will not give me any more PT sessions. My doctor prescribed more sessions, my PT submitted all the necessary info, but Aetna won't call my PT back, or even ANSWER THE PHONE. My PT has tried for months, and they've gotten no word back about more appointments. I'm pretty much disgusted by the whole thing.

A few weeks ago, my doctor sent me for another MRI. This MRI sucked in a few ways. First, the contrast shot hurt a lot more than I remembered. My knee felt completely locked and I hobbled for a good 5 hours after. Secondly, they did a crap job taking the images. My first MRI is so much clearer than this latest one. There's only one decent image of what's going on. As you can see there's a bunch of black crap around my labrum, which had me freaking out. My surgeon was worried too, so he took an X-Ray when I saw him a week after the MRI. He thinks that the black areas are the MRI's reaction to the sutures in my hip, because they have a little, very fine, bit of metal in them. I'm hoping he's right, though it did worry me that he was so nervous about it. I feel a bit assured though that that's what it is, because my boyfriend's father looked at the MRI images before I saw my doctor (he was an occupational therapist) and thought that's what the mysterious black areas were too.

After spending the money on an MRI and another doctor's visit, and the pain I went through to have the MRI, I was really hoping my doctor would have some answers. He didn't. "It could be this, it could be this, we know it's probably not this..." I was/am really disappointed. I want a name to call this pain. I want to just hear "hip tendonitis" or SOMETHING. But he doesn't want to make any decisions until he knows more. So I'm getting a cortisone shot next Tuesday, in my hip joint. I'm not really pleased about this, especially since I think the real issue is my hip tendon. I want that shot there, where my doctor was thinking of putting it before the MRI. I've seen two massage therapists and they both exclaimed surprise when they've gotten to my hip tendon/abductors. It's so tight, all the time, I stretch as much as I can. Some days I just want to rip my leg off. Both massage therapists have recommended tennis ball therapy, where basically, I put a tennis ball on my groin/hip area and hump a wall, rolling the ball up and down. It's really uncomfortable and I can assure you it's not as much fun as it sounds.

So that's where I am. Clueless. I realized the other day that this week a year ago, is when I felt the "big tear". I'm sure my labrum was beat to hell, but I definitely felt it completely go. I don't know what to feel about the surgery at this point. I'm sure it had to be repaired, 4cm just flapping around isn't going to heal by itself. But to still be in pain... it's really disappointing and it makes me worry I will never run again. Part of me has been preparing for that to be the reality of things. It's been hard too because I know if I had more time to do PT, pilates, yoga, tennis ball humping and other things that help, I would be in less pain. If I had more money I'd get massage therapy once a week. I hope to update more often, since it seems a lot of people on the Facebook group "Understanding Hip Impingement, FAI" (yes, there is such a thing) are experiencing similar issues. It has been a source of comfort to know that I'm not alone and that other people are out there, with this weird, pretty obscure, f**king annoying orthopedic issue.

8 Weeks Post-Op

2010-06-17T16:31:00.007-04:00

I feel this obligation to say, "I'm sorry, I wanted blog more often..." It would have been a great resource to blog every week about my progress, but honestly, I wasn't up for the emotional toll. A few friends have asked why I haven't been blogging more. The answer is that I've been focusing much of my free time on getting better. When I do have the time to take it easy, I do. Writing isn't easy when there aren't a lot of fun things to talk about. I don't want this to become a place to vent and seek pity. That being said, the weeks that have passed since I last wrote haven't been easy.

As much as Twitter seems like a useless social arena, it will definitely be helping me write this post. According to my "tweets" May 21st was the first time I got into the pool post-surgery. I felt bad getting to the pool a month after surgery. My doctor and my PT wanted me in there as soon as my stitches were out. I just wasn't feeling up to it. I was exhausted and miserable. It took me about 5 weeks to get off the crutches, a little longer than expected. Everything involving this healing process has been slow and patience has never been one of my virtues. So, I'm making it one. I've been making a lot of changes in my life these past few weeks. I'm trying to be more positive and focusing less on the end goal of doing triathlons again, and more on the present.

Three weeks ago I started doing yoga again. I did some Instant Watch yoga DVDs from Netflix. Then I downloaded a yoga app for my iPod Touch called Pocket Yoga. I figured spending $2.99 was better than spending $15 - 20 a session on a yoga class. It was difficult at first to do a 30 minute session. I remember taking things very slowly, and even a simple pose like "Child's Pose" was hard to do. Since then, yoga has become easier and I'm noticing improvements in my flexibility. Even my PT has noticed added strength as well as the flexibility. The yoga has been great for me mentally as well. Not only does it help to alleviate some of the massive amounts of stress I've experiencing, but seeing the little improvements as well as doing something physically active (albeit slow) makes me feel like I'm making progress.

After Pocket Yoga, I kind of went app crazy. My iPod Touch has now turned into my iZen. I have several different yoga apps on there. The best one is Hatha Yoga which is a pricey app at $9.99. It is the most authentic/traditional yoga app available. You can customize your own yoga sessions, the stop-motion video of the woman doing yoga are well done, and the audio instruction is very good. I have customized the standard session to have more poses that are beneficial for opening my hips and taken out the ones that are too hard for me right now. The yoga has also helped with the back pain I've been having from the epidural.

I have also downloaded some apps to help with meditation. My favorite being iSamadhi which is a meditation timer and journal. I started practicing meditation after I realized that the emotional after effects of this injury and the surgery were becoming too much for me. I was letting the pain and the negativity overwhelm me, own me. I have felt a large range of emotions in dealing with this. A huge part of it is guilt. There are people out there in far worse circumstances than I. Why does this feel so huge? So terrible at times? I'm not paralyzed, I can walk and will most likely be able to go on to doing triathlons again. I feel stupid and selfish for feeling so upset at times. I know I have a history of depression, which is usually just letting myself consume me. Does that make sense? Depression, for me, is letting my sad emotions overpower happiness or even just simply being. I give more importance to the depressive feelings than any other feelings. I feel they must be dealt with, but in the past I've dealt with them just by rolling around in them for weeks, months, years at a time.

Meditation gives me a break from focusing on those emotions. Just 10 minutes or so spent focusing on my breath, on the present has made such a difference. I have been interested in Eastern... well... everything ever since I was a child. Yoga is something I practice, then let go of, then return to. While I don't consider myself a Buddhist, I do like to read about it and about practicing mindfulness. There are certain negative stigmas attached to meditation and yoga... perhaps you're thinking, "Shit, Heather's gone all hocus pocus." If I could I'd show you 11 year old Heather off in the woods burning leaves and calling herself a Wiccan, I'd say: "No. That's hocus pocus Heather." Also, you can be an atheist and still believe in the benefits of meditation and mindfulness. (Shout out to Stephen Batchelor.) In any event, I'm feeling a bit more positive about things, even when I have setbacks.

My current setback is a "groin pull". YAY! Another opportunity for me to say "groin"! You know how I love to say it. Anyway, these past few days my walking has been going downhill. As much as I tried to hide it, a couple coworkers asked me if I was okay. I've been having trouble starting to walk after sitting, then I had trouble walking at all. I hoped a trip to the pool yesterday after work would help, but alas after swimming, doing my water walking and hip exercises I hobbled to the hot tub. When I went to PT today I had to have another therapist because my usual one is at a conference (One part of the conference is focused on my surgery, that's how common it's becoming). I told the assistant PT about how bad the pain and walking has been, and so the PT took a look.

She touched the spot where I've been having the most pain and exclaimed how tight it was. She started to massage it, and I started to do deep breathing exercises. It was incredibly painful. She took me to a private room, and continued to massage the tight areas. I had tears streaming down my face as I focused on my breath. Yeah, it was painful but it had to be done. After ultra-sound and ice, my walking was already improved. I'm to ice 3 - 4 times a day for the next week and lay off exercises, even yoga for a couple days. I'm relieved that the pain wasn't from my surgery, like it was failing or I did something wrong. The worst days have been the ones where I've been scared of a pop or pain and worried that the surgery didn't "keep".

Besides the hip, I finished my first semester of grad school with As. I'm quite proud and feeling confident about that part of my life. I'm currently taking a summer course online which is overwhelming right now. I'm hoping I get used to the format in a couple weeks. The above picture is me ripping the dance floor up to Lady Gaga at my friend Maura's wedding. It's hard to tell from the back but she looked absolutely gorgeous. It was the best wedding I've been to. Congrats again you two!

First Week Post Labral Tear Surgery

2010-04-26T21:43:00.012-04:00

Day 1 Post-Op: After what seemed like an eternity, 8am arrived and so did breakfast. It was gross eggs and gross Cream of Wheat so I didn't eat much. I remember crying at one point because I was just so stressed out and in so much pain. The amazing nurse Steve sat down with me and talked to me for awhile. He said that it was understandable I'd be crying after such a rough night and especially after such little sleep. He also said the pain meds don't help with emotions either, which I've definitely found to be true in the past. He told me about his ACL surgery and how there will be downs but there will also be ups, and recovery will happen though it seems so far away and overwhelming right now. Steve is an incredible nurse, to take the time to sit down and talk to me made me feel so much better.

Some random doctor came in to take the epidural out of my back. It was a quick pinch but my back was so sore it hurt just to lean over so he could take it out. Then my doctor came in to check up on me. He told me I could get on a stationery bike the next day as long as I pedaled with my good leg and left the other leg resting on the pedal. I laughed at that because I was in so much pain I couldn't imagine pedaling. Even a week later I feel uncomfortable with the idea. There's no way I'm getting on my bike (on the stationary trainer) until my hip feels better.

I was barely lucid when physical and occupational therapists came in to teach me how to use crutches. First of all I thought they were insane having me move in the amount of pain I was in. I was on the verge of passing out the entire lesson which consisted of me crutching down the hallway, up a little model of stairs and down, and back to the room. Voila, the entirety of my crutch training. The OT helped me learn how to use the bathroom and put on clothes. At this point I'm allowed to put 20lbs of pressure on my left (operated side) foot, which is basically just touching the foot to the ground.

Soon after they left Scott arrived and nurse Steve came in to answer any of our questions before discharge. Scott grilled Steve on all the medications and everything I (we) should be doing this first week. So glad Scott was there to be so assertive and ask everything. I'm not really good about asking medical staff questions, although I am getting better at it. Also I was still on the verge of passing out so having him there to write things down and clarify was essential. After that I was discharged and a nurse wheeled me out of the hospital.

Most of the day was spent in pretty awful pain and keeping myself from blacking out. From my waist down was still waking up and I was paranoid I was peeing all the time. I couldn't really feel my stomach but I was bloated from all the fluids and meds. My hip was obviously quite swollen. Some lady dropped off the CPM machine at my house, which I talked about a couple posts ago. It moves my leg really slowly from straight out to 45 degrees. It's important to do this (4 - 6 hours a day!) so that my leg doesn't get all knotted up and stiff. Controlled movement helps keep things loose so that I don't have permanent damage. I slept on the couch that night so Scott could have the bed to himself, he was completely exhausted as well. I woke up a few times to the room spinning around and to use the bathroom, which seemed to take a half an hour each time.

Using my CPM wearing the sweet double-sided tread socks the hospital gave me.

Day 2: Wednesday was a good day. I felt pretty positive and was already feeling a bit more mobile. The worst part that day was still feeling bloated from the Percocet. It's gross to talk about but seriously, it's important after surgery to drink a lot of fluids (although getting up and down is a serious pain) and take in fiber, probiotics, fruits & veggies and if necessary a laxative. It's the icky side of surgery that I was grateful other people blogged about, so there you go. I wish I saw this post from Susie at Goodnight Nobody before surgery.

Throughout the week Scott slept at my place so he could make me breakfast and make sure I had what I needed for the day. That usually involves making sure I took my morning pills, leaving a glass of water (or my favorite, coconut water) around my bed and feeding my cat. He also biked over from his job during his lunch breaks to make me lunch. I'm still in awe of how much he's helped me this past week and I don't know how I would've gotten through this without him. He definitely helps to keep me positive and I'm sure that without him I would be a depressive, bitter mess. Later that day my friends Kelly and Jason stopped by to visit me. It was so great to see my friends! Kelly had me laughing so hard I thought my stitches were going to burst.

Day 3: Spent the morning being miserable. For some reason I thought I would be feeling much better than I was. It seemed like before surgery the doctor and other people I had talked to acted like I'd be fine in a few days. I still felt pretty terrible and wondered if I was just being a baby or if its normal to feel so bad. I guess everyone is different when it comes to these things. With a lot of things in life I'm prone to wondering if I'm handling things "okay". Feeling quite helpless has had a way of amplifying my already self-conscious nature.

Scott gave me a massage during his lunch break. My body felt so scrunched up, twisted and gnarled post-surgery. The stress, the actual surgery itself, the epidural and then having to mostly lay in bed left my body so sore and my muscles tight. I started crying it felt so good. Since then I've noticed my body in general has felt a lot better. I highly recommend rubbing sore muscles with Arniflora and Triflora, which are natural topical gels that I've had much success with. I also love the fact that they don't smell like IcyHot or other muscle rubs, they have a light herbal scent. The Arniflora contains arnica and witch hazel. The Triflora contains comfry, poison ivy (yes weird I know, but it shouldn't cause a reaction) and wild rosemary. These two gels also help with bruising. I've been using them since before the surgery and I've noticed my hip usually felt achier if I've forgotten to apply them in the morning. The bruising from the surgery hasn't been so bad. Usually I bruise quite easily and expected my hip to be a purple and black mess, but I've only had light greenish bruising.

Later that day Scott brought me to my first post-op physical therapy session. I am back to going to Excel Physical Therapy in Hamden. I was happy to see my PT again. First thing she said to me was "No wonder you weren't improving!" and she said how happy she was that I got a second opinion and how she knew I wasn't going to stop trying to figure out what was wrong. Scott sat in on the PT session so he could learn along with me what I can and can't do. It's so great to have his active support in my recovery. I was still woozy that day and started to realize the Percocet was causing me to have acute nausea throughout the day. Not enough to make me completely sick, but enough to make me miserable. Anyway, it was great to have Scott there because I still wasn't feeling lucid enough to remember everything my PT told me. She reviewed my crutching and said I was actually doing really well. I was sure I was doing it wrong. I went home feeling really hopeful and positive about my recovery.

Day 4: I was upset once again that I wasn't getting any schoolwork done and was feeling pretty scared about returning to "normal life" in a few days. Avoided the world by watching a lot of stupid TV shows on Hulu. Took my first shower since before the surgery (they wanted me to avoid changing the dressing and showering as long as I could) and felt sort of human.

Day 5: My parents came down to visit. We all went to brunch down at my favorite diner in West Haven. My parents took me to the grocery store and I got to ride the motorized cart. I felt like a jerk when I passed an old woman going the opposite direction in the dairy aisle who was somehow controlling a walker as well as her cart and looked like she was about to fall over. Whatever the cart is as fun as it looks. My parents cleaned around the apartment while I fell asleep, the events of the day had worn me out. Most of the day was spent feeling nauseous from the Percocet, even though at this point I'm only taking one at night and dealing with the pain during the day.

Day 6: My parents stayed at a local hotel so they could see me two whole days in a row. We went to lunch and my parents proceeded to clean even more of my apartment while I rested and used the CPM. Finally did some schoolwork that night and started to feel better about returning to "normal life". Decided not to take a Percocet before bed so I'd feel better about driving the next day. Took a Benadryl because I've been spending a lot more time with my cat Björk this past week. I slept pretty well for the first night since surgery, I think the Benadryl helped.

Day 7: I went to my second post-surgery PT session in the morning. My PT says I'm already showing increased movement and I'm doing well. We went over my exercises again and she answered some questions I had. Called my doctor's office complaining about the Percocet. Now I have a prescription for Vicodin, so I will be taking my first one tonight. Hopefully it will treat me better. I have been in pretty significant pain most of the day. When my parents were here they gave me their TENS (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator) machine. My PT uses one on me, but the one I have is a little consumer model. It's the size of a beeper circa 1997 and it connects to little electrodes I have to stick on myself. "A TENS unit is an electrical impulse generator that is used to relieve post-operative, acute and chronic pain," reads my instruction manual. I'm hoping I can use it during the day and then only take pain medication at night. Apparently they're not completely sure why TENS works and there are limited studies about its effectiveness. I will say that when it is running I feel the buzz sensation of the machine and it does seem to "block" the actual pain I'm in, which is a deep, burny pain.

More about TENS from my machine's manual:
How does TENS work?
"TENS, or Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation, means the transmission of small electrical pulses through the skin to the underlying peripheral nerves. TENS is thought to work in two different ways.

First, "high frequency" continuous, mild, electrical activity may block the pain signal travelin to the brain. Brain cells perceive pain. If the pain signal does not get through to the brain, the pain is not "felt".

The second way TENS is thought to work is by stimulating the body's own natural pain-control mechanism. "Low frequency" or short bursts of mild, electrical activity may cause the body to release its own pain erasers, called beta endorphins."

I'm getting better at crutching, definitely moving faster than Day 2. I feel a lot more mobile and my bruising is already gone. I was happy that I finally got out to drive myself around, and I'm feeling more confident about going back to work and school. Like I said, I'm still in pain but it is manageable, then again I've been "managing" life with pain since last October. It's hard to believe that at this time a week ago I was lying in bed at the hospital completely miserable. Feeling much more positive compared to that experience!

Surgery Day

2010-04-22T13:31:00.004-04:00

On Sunday I turned 26. On Monday I had hip surgery.

I got up at 4:50am and took the last shower I knew I was going to fully enjoy for quite awhile. I took my time and shaved and just stood there in the scalding hot water, relishing it. We got to the hospital for 6am and I tried my best to keep it together. We got to the SurgiCenter and a very sweet nurse took me to my pre-op area. She would be the first of many amazing nurses I'd come across at Milford Hospital. She saw how nervous I was and did her best to calm me down, she didn't talk down to me (like a lot of medical staff tend to do) and put on extra blankets because I was already shivering. Scott came to say goodbye but the anesthesiologist doctor decided it was time to do my epidural and Scott had to leave. I started crying and that bought me a few more minutes with Scott. I vividly remember looking up and him, sobbing, scared and just wanting to be held.

The spinal was awful. I don't care what the hell the Russian doctor and over enthusiastic assistant he had tried to tell me. That shit hurt. Even on the Valium or whatever he put in my IV to calm me down I just wanted to rip the assistant's throat open with my hands as she braced me, repeating in a sickly sweet fake voice "SEE it's not so bad!?!" while the doctor shoved a needle in my spine. After that I met my anesthesiologist nurse and I was rolled down the hallway to the operating room. I looked up while people in scrubs walked around me and it was just like the movies. So surreal. I remember entering the OR and looking over at the "table" which was really a bunch of platforms and the foot braces that they would lock me in. I looked up at the giant lights and I thought back to alien abduction movies. Then I looked over to Dr. Schachter setting up the video screen for the camera. "So you gonna record it for me?" I asked. He said something about taking stills of the best shots or something and then...

I woke up in the recovery room shaking uncontrollably. One nurse there, who knows what I said to get her to like me so much, but she really took a shining to me. She piled warm blanket after warm blanket to get me to stop shivering. I always shiver after anesthesia but never this bad. Then I realized my throat was so sore. Not just sore but it felt like there was glass in there every time I tried to talk. She kept giving me sips of ginger-ale through a straw. She talked to me, asked me some questions. I told her how I lived in New Haven and we talked about restaurant week. I remember her telling the nurse upstairs who'd be taking care of me that I was "just a kid" several times and that I was a triathlete and made sure my boyfriend was in my room. When they wheeled me out she said something about how rare it was to get such a sweet kid in the recovery room and wished me the best of luck. I wish I knew a way to tell her thanks for being so comforting.

I was wheeled into my hospital room and I was so relieved to see Scott there. He was equally relieved to see me. I found out it was 3pm and I had been in the OR for 5 hours. That was two hours more than I remember them telling me it would take. Scott, my parents, his parents had all been worried because they expected me to be out much sooner. The tear was bigger than expected and I would find out later, bigger than average. Usually it takes 2 - 3 staples to repair a tear, mine took 4. My doctor said that when they put the camera in, the cartilage was flapping around in front of the camera. As promised, he took stills of the video for me. It looks like fish and the "staples" look like the plastic twine you use to tie down a pool tarp. My friend Kelly said the stills look like "a whale's vagina". Enjoy that image.

After I had finally stopped shivering, the worst symptom from the surgery was the sore throat from having the tubes put down my throat. I was drinking water, ginger-ale and chewing on ice chips trying to make my throat feel better. Scott went for a walk and came across a Carvel and brought me icecream. :) I didn't think I'd eat the whole thing but I did, it was so sweet of him. The nurses also gave me lozenges but nothing seemed to help my throat.

A few hours after surgery I realized that I was allergic to the epidural medicine. I couldn't stop itching. I couldn't feel my hip at all but the sore throat and the itching were too much to bear. There were even places on my skin where I had broken out in hives. The nurses gave me Benadryl but nothing seemed to help. I would try to sleep but I was overwhelmed by crazy, fast-cut editing visions of nonsense that freaked me out. I would look over to the wood cabinet in the room and it would swirl, warp, become fuzzy in places. I thought I was going insane. I would "fall asleep" and wake up hoping an hour had passed and it was only 15 minutes. I remember being so incredibly lonely.

After dealing with the extreme itchiness and sore throat for several hours I just broke down in tears. The nurses asked me what was wrong (like I hadn't been complaining for hours) and I could barely speak, all I could say was "I'm... so... fucking... miserable... I'm.... so... itchy, my throat... I can't... sleep..." Finally they called a doctor who recommended they stop the epidural drip. I spent the rest of the night watching TV, checking Facebook and Twitter on my phone and just hoping for the itchiness to subside and for 8am to come because that's when I knew I'd get breakfast, people would be coming to give me PT or whatever, and most importantly Scott would be there soon.

Next post will be about Day 2 and hopefully after that my successful recovery.

Labral Terror

2010-03-30T12:50:00.007-04:00

So after my last whiny post a lot has happened. I wrote that post on a Wednesday night and by Friday I had an appointment set up with a new orthopedic doctor. This was the doctor my coworker recommended to me months ago, but for some reason didn't go to. Now I wish I had, but hindsight is always 20-20. Dr. Schachter realized my problem right away. It was NOT "snapping hip syndrome" but most likely a labral tear. As defined by the MayoClinic: "A hip labral tear involves the ring of soft tissue that follows the outside rim of the socket of your hip joint. This ridge of cartilage, called a labrum, works a little like a suction cup to help hold your hip joint together."

Guess what sports are attributed to such a tear? Well among them are running, biking and kickboxing! Yay! We're thinking the combination of my naturally deep hip sockets with all the sports caused this tear to happen. An MRI confirmed the tear, and while they put contrast in my hip joint to show on the MRI better they also gave me a cortisone shot. It was SO worth the giant needle in my hip for 10 minutes. On one side of me was a doctor putting in the needle and on the other side was the x-ray image of my hip. The image would refresh every minute so I got to watch the needle go in deeper and deeper, then feel the fluid going into my hip and then watch the screen show the fluid dispersing. It was a highly unnerving experience. Also nobody tells you how LOUD an MRI is!! The protective headphones hardly masked the crazy sounds the machine made. I thought MRI's were these highly advanced silent machines but I was wrong.

So what happens next? Surgery. The day after my birthday to be exact. Last year on my birthday I rode 25 miles to celebrate my 25th year. This year I get crutches. I went to Dr. Schachter today for my final visit before the surgery. He explained that there is some hip impingement so along with fixing the labral tear they will do some very minor bone shaving. I actually got really lucky because in some cases of FAI there needs to be some significant alterations done to the bone. (Read more about FAI here.) I found out today that I will be staying in the hospital overnight because my doctor is worried I'll have adverse reactions to the anesthesia and get sick. Also, unlike my first and very shitty orthopedic, he has taken my gastritis into account.

When Dr. Schacter first told me I would probably need surgery I Googled the bejesus out of FAI. Instead of scaring me I actually found a lot of relief. I found my symptoms described in perfect detail. I found people who went on to do Ironman triathlons. I found a lot of encouragement and I also felt so much better! This post at www.understandingfai.com describes the writer's experience with her symptoms and I felt a weight of guilt lifting off of me when I read it. She too had intermittent and sometimes unbearable pain. I felt guilty because I thought that "snapping hip syndrome" could be fixed easily and that I must be doing something wrong because it wasn't getting better. I also felt guilty because some days it feels fine and other days it burns so bad, so I thought that the pain must be in my head. I must be the one making it out to be worse than it was. Chronic pain is an emotional roller coaster, and I'm ready to get off and enjoy the things I love to do again.

The recovery includes: 3 weeks on crutches and two weeks of this baby:

Look! She's loving it! And soon so will I! PT sessions probably twice a week for a couple of months and the doctor says I should be able to train again in about 4 months. I was hoping I'd be able to do a September triathlon but it looks like I will just have to wait until next year. The doctor wants me to be very careful and to "cool my jets" for awhile. A lot of people have seen the recovery A-Rod has made (who has this exact surgery... and I still think a douche bag) and think they can go back to running around in 6 weeks. Unfortunately since A-Rod ~~exists~~ had this surgery people have been increasingly getting tendinitis because they're pushing themselves too soon.

Despite the fact I need surgery I'm pretty optimistic. From what I've seen on blogs, people have gone to five or six orthopedics before finding a doctor that recognizes what this is. It is often misdiagnosed as snapping hip syndrome, hernia and other issues. Because it's a relatively new procedure there aren't that many doctors who do it. There's one guy in New York I keep hearing about, who is highly recommended except for the fact he takes CASH ONLY, UP FRONT. Um, sorry but I don't have $20,000 just hanging around. The other doctor who is "the best" is Dr. Philipon out in Vail, Colorado. Since finding out I need surgery I've had everyone giving me other orthopedics they've heard about. While I appreciate it, I'm happy with my current doctor. My coworker's brother-in-law is an orthopedic doctor who knows Schachter very well and I like that he is very thorough and cautious and treats me like a human being, which I've found to be a rare quality amongst doctors, especially orthopedics.

*It should be noted that "labral terror" is my boyfriend's amazing pun, not mine. I like to give credit where it's due. More of his amazingness can be found at this site.

Low Point

2010-02-24T18:59:00.003-05:00

This will probably be the most unedited, emotional mess of a post yet. I'm at a loss for what to do. I keep building myself up only to have the pain return. I dropped $200 on swimming stuff Tuesday. Flippers, kickboard, new goggles, 2 suits because I lost one and other is severely stretched out. Swam my first 1000 yards of the year, mostly with flippers, feeling like I was cheating having them on, but whatever my hips are weak. I took Advil later. The pain burned and gnawed at my groin for the rest of the day. Yeah. Groin. I have fucking groin pain. It's embarrassing and uncomfortable and so painful. Pain that just burns and feels like someone is pressing between my lady bits and the beginning my thigh. If I sit too long it hurts, if I walk too long it hurts, if my back isn't straight, if my legs aren't a certain way, it hurts. It hurts every fucking day and I'm just so sick of it.
I've been pouring time and money into PT. Into yoga. I try to do my exercises but then I'll have a day where I've gone to PT and it still burns, and I'm left wondering if I'm getting worse or better. Yoga hurt. Elliptical hurts. Swimming hurts. I just want to move again. My body is slowly turning all the muscle I worked so hard for, 2 hours a week for almost a year, and I'm watching it disappear every week that goes by. I haven't gained weight, but it's obvious my abs are weak again, my legs are no longer taut, it's just all going to shit. I know I should do ab work, and it would really help, but it's so hard to motivate myself to do it, to go to the gym especially when no cardio is involved. It's gotten to the point that I see runners as I drive around town and start to cry. Because I can't do that anymore. It all seems like another life. It's so stupid, so stupid to cry over a muscle injury. There are people out there with missing limbs, who have to have surgery, and yet here I am whining over this stupid, lame injury. I feel like a total dick and helpless at the same time. My boyfriend, who has been a saint, has been there to pick me up every time I have a day like this where I just fall into fits of frustration and tears. He's been amazing and I'm so sick of being Debbie Downer.
I want definite answers. I want someone to go "do this, this and this daily", and have it actually work. I hate these down days. I hate whining. I hate that it just takes over and I don't know how to deal with it.

On the Mend

2010-01-25T15:39:00.005-05:00

The new year is here and with it a lot of changes. As I briefly stated in my last entry, for the past few months I've been dealing with a hip injury. It started after my last triathlon. I was running more on the treadmill, trying to squeeze in workouts as best as I could. Hip pain would flare up soon after a run. I would stretch all sorts of ways, but nothing could stop the pain or burning. An hour or so after running on the treadmill 4mi I was limping so badly I could hardly walk. The next day I called up my physical therapist.

After a month of seeing no improvement I went to an orthopedic. At first the doctor told me to go to a gynecologist because he thought I had a hernia. He seemed to be taking guesses for a diagnosis. (BTW - he's a horrible doctor and I wouldn't recommend him to anyone.) He was about to leave when I asked, exasperated that I was losing my one chance at getting a physical therapy prescription, "WHAT ABOUT THE SNAPPING?!" He came over and said he didn't feel any snapping. So I rotated my leg the way I had learned that makes it snap, and it did, painfully. My eyes shut and my face tightened in pain. He looked down at me, unamused. "Ok. You have "Snapping Psoas Syndrome". Uh. What?

Well he was no help really explaining it so I did a ton of Google searching after I left his office. The smart explanation via http://emedicine.medscape.com:

(photo from : www.arthroscopichipsurgeon.com)

"The most common cause of a snapping hip is the iliotibial band snapping over the greater trochanter. This may be associated with trochanteric bursitis or with increased varus of the hip. The finding of a tight iliotibial band is common. Sudden loading of the hip (eg, landing after a jump) may reproduce this sensation of the iliotibial band subluxing over the greater trochanter. With sudden loading, the hip typically is flexed, causing the iliotibial band to move anteriorly followed by the tendon snapping backward as the individual recovers and extends the hip."

Basically, there's a muscle in my hip snapping over another muscle. The causes of SPS (BTW - Snapping Psoas Syndrome is also known as Snapping Hip Syndrome) are varied. My amazing physical therapist over at Excel Physical Therapy in Hamden, CT had the same injury from running and training for half marathons. Mine is an overuse injury as well. It's a bitch, but with a lot of work, is treatable. The added bonuses I had to make this ordeal more painful was 1. Hardly any hip flexor strength, and 2. Scar tissue developed in my groin to make up for the lack of hip flexor strength. I can think back over the years and remember all the times I stopped or skipped an exercise that dealt with hip flexor strengthening. Every time I tried these particular exercises my hip felt like it was grinding and snapping, the feeling made me nauseous as it was so strange.

It seems logical when you feel pain or grinding/snapping you would respond by stopping. Stopping turned out to be the exact wrong thing to do in this situation. I should have pushed forward, built up some hip flexor strength and I wouldn't be in this mess. Hindsight = 20/20. So I've been building up strength, little by little, and the snapping is less persistent. The constant burning feeling (which was bursitis) has lessened a great deal. My PT has broken up the scar tissue over the past few weeks with ultrasound and scraping (yes, scraping) at my groin with an object that looks like a wrist bone. As much progress as I've made, I still have to keep working at strengthening and stretching my hips before I can run. I have been going on the elliptical and today started a month trial of Bikram yoga.

Other than all that, this week is my first week of grad school. I'm going to the New School in New York City to obtain an MA in Media Studies. For now I will be staying in New Haven and commuting once a week into the city. My job has kept me on part-time, and I can't say enough how thankful I am that my company has been supportive of this decision.

Great blog post on helpful tight psoas exercises:
Low back pain while running... a real pain in the butt

Yoga Journal article 'Get Hip' which goes over some hip stretching poses, such as pigeon (shown above).

Long Overdue Race Report - Trifitness Triathlon

2009-12-04T00:01:00.009-05:00

I'll start my transition back to blogging with a "quick" overview of my last race. It was on September 20th. It's now 2 minutes after midnight on December 4th. Yeah. I'm a little behind. The last triathlon was my best! I can't believe how well I did. The day before the triathlon I went to what's known as the Big E. The "Eastern States Exposition" is New England's biggest fair, and it just so happens to take place in my original hometown of West Springfield, MA. I had fried dough, ice cream, cotton candy... total junk food. I woke up race morning skeptical I'd do well and with the intent to finish the race as best I could. Somehow I managed to completely kick ass.

The swim felt like it took forever, but that's how I always feel. There was a crazy sand bar on the way out, halfway to the first buoy. Most of the swimmers got up and started running across it, myself included. By the time we were swimming back to the shore, I had had enough. I was looking for girls from my team and just trying to keep up.

The bike was mostly me in rage mode. I just kept going as fast as I could, determined to pass any female ahead of me. I swore a couple times at people riding to the left, and generally being in my way. I was not a fan of how many corners we had to round. There was a girl who looked to be in my age group that I kept "playing with" the entire bike. Passing her was tough, but once I did I didn't see her behind me. Then she'd come up from behind, seemingly out of nowhere and pass me. There was one stretch I thought I'd never catch up to her. The entire bike I was cursing her, quite literally. On the last bit of road before the end of the bike we were so close. She passed me in the end and I felt a bit defeated.

The run transition was my worst, I think. I can't even remember anymore. I do know that I looked down at my watch during the first mile to see a 7:20 pace. WTFBBQ?! I freaked out and tried my best to keep up the pace. Passed a few team members and then I saw the girl from the bike ahead of me. As I passed her I said "That was great on the bike!" "Oh yea! You too! You really kept me going!" she said. "Me too!" Aww, look at that, we were nice girls after all. Seriously, without her I wouldn't have been able to go as fast as I did. Soon after I passed her I got a running stitch from hell. I struggled to the second mile. (Honestly how DO you triathletes run half/full marathons after a bike without cramping?!?!) I pulled it together around 2.5 and tried as best as I could to keep a decent pace.

Nearing the end I saw my mom up ahead. I thought she came out to support me on my run. Later I found out her and my boyfriend were snagged to volunteer and direct people on the run. My mom warbled her affections and support at the top of her lungs. Soon I came upon my boyfriend who was taking pictures of me while shouting support and compliments. He's kind of amazing.

Crossed the finish line with a flourish, flashing the metal sign in my cheesy arms in the air pose that has become my standard finishing style. Milled around for a bit and ate a gigantic apple. Before the awards ceremony I checked the results board. My jaw dropped and I checked it again. I got second in my age group! I refused to believe it. My parents and boyfriend were congratulating me and I kept saying, "Well just wait til the awards!" I was convinced there was a mistake.

There hadn't been a mistake. I really got second in my age group. My "secret" goal all year was to finish in the top 10. My first race I was close, and the second race was a total disaster. I have never been so proud of myself, and admittedly I'm getting misty typing this. For once in my life I worked my ass off and I achieved a goal. Not only achieved it, but surpassed it. Yes, overall I wasn't anything remarkable, but for a beginner I'm pleased with doing well in my age group. I'm also happy to say that the girl ahead of me in the age group is from my team and is also covered in tattoos. A guy on the bike even mistook me for her.

Thanks to that girl on the bike, I even placed first in my age group for the bike! She ended up being in the age group below me and placed third, I think. I can't remember. So that's that. My last triathlon of 2009. Right now I'm dealing with hip issues and have been going to physical therapy. My runs have gone from an average of 5 miles to just trying to make it to 15 minutes. I hope to resolve the issue soon and get back to training. There's been a lot more that's happened these past few months, but I'll write about that another time. Hopefully before 2010 rolls around.

Setting up my transition area, pretending to be perky.

This sums up my actual pre-race mood.

Promising my mom I won't punch any girls on the swim. (Honestly I have no idea what's going on here)

Smiling because my boyfriend just told me I look beautiful.

Just looked at the results board with my boyfriend/favorite race volunteer.

Full of pride and reeking of Sound water and sweat.

I'm Not Dead

2009-09-10T21:54:00.002-04:00

It's been three weeks since my last post. I was trying so hard to keep up with at least one post a week but things have been pretty crazy. I've lost my triathlon training momentum. Part of it is being completely burnt out. Another part of it is because I've begun a new relationship. Not typical of me to throw that out to the masses, but it's directly affecting my training schedule. Sometimes I care and I'm hard on myself about missing workouts. Mostly I'm just incredibly happy and could care less about triathlons, work, paying bills, putting out the recycling, laundry and so on...

I'm trying to gauge whether this slack in regimen is a good thing or if its telling me triathlons were never a priority. I tend to over think things but when I see my priorities change so quickly and dramatically it's hard not to draw conclusions. Been making time when I can, trying not to completely lose focus. I have a triathlon on the 20th and I can't wait for it to be over. I just don't want to think about racing for awhile.

Urban Epic Mechanical Failure

2009-08-17T19:42:00.006-04:00

Cambridge, race morning.

Sunday I raced the first ever Boston Urban Epic. It was a .5 mile swim, 10mi bike and a 4mi run. I prepared as much as I could for having my last/first race only a month prior. I signed up soon after Sobe Mossman, feeling confident and excited to race again. For some reason I couldn't shake a bad feeling about the race but who knows it was probably nerves.

I packed everything and checked my list over and over again before I left. I showed up in Boston on Saturday afternoon. As soon as I looked at my bike in my friend's apartment I realized my tire pump was gone. Did I leave it strapped to the bike and it flew off during my 90mph speeding? Maybe I had completely forgotten it. I tried to shake the jinxed feeling.

Pre-race, transition area.

Race morning I prepared just as I did for the Sobe Mossman. I ate the same Kashi bars and drank plenty of water. It was already in the 70s at 6am. Drove to the race, got marked, set up my transition station. I chatted with the girls around me who were all quite nice. Quickly became friendly with a girl named Liesbeth from Amsterdam, we walked to the swim start together.

The swim start was half an hour late, Liesbeth and I drank water they had provided. They only had huge jugs with no cups. We took turns pouring the water into the other's cupped hands. The sun was starting to beat down now and it was probably in the low 80s already. Our swim wave was small, I couldn't keep up with the fast girls and I was faster than the slow girls. I was in the middle and had no one to draft off of. The swim was supposed to be a straight line but at last minute it was changed to a giant curve. Halfway through I knew I was going much slower than last time.

Out of the water I got to T1 and I could feel myself fumbling. Why didn't I practice my transitions more? No bother, I calmed myself down and did my best. I got on the bike and started passing people. 20mph and I was feeling great. I got the first turnaround and headed back to the transition area. At first I was confused as to where the second turnaround was. For as many volunteers as they had, the expo parking lot turnaround was a dead zone. I started to feel my back tire sliding. Shit. A flat. I got to the transition area and screamed for a bike mechanic, I threw my bike down in frustration. It took five minutes for the bike mechanics to reach me. One started to work on it, and another took over, I had a bad feeling about this too. I gave him a tube I had and within a few minutes had the tire on, I went to get back on, the chain was off. I ran back to him and he fixed it.

I pounded my legs as fast as they could go. At this point I knew it was just about finishing, but I wanted to do my best. I wanted to make up some time. Passing people once again, I felt good. I really thought I could do it. Got to the first turnaround and again I felt the dreaded slide in my rear tire. I passed a guy and yelled, "Please, God, tell me I don't have a flat." He looked and grimaced, "Just keep pedaling and keep going as far as you can." Ugh, it was flat. I pedaled for awhile but got paranoid I'd do more damage to by bike. I got off, running in my cleats. I was breathing out of control, choking on each breath. Asthma attack plus fighting tears. Awesome. I was a wreck, screaming "bike mechanic" at every volunteer. No one had a walkie talkie. Finally someone with a walkie talkie asked for a bike mechanic. I began to take my tire off, but realized I'd just have to hold it. Some guy tried to talk to me but I snapped at him. "I'm just trying to help," he said. "I know... I'm sorry... this is my second flat okay?" The bike mechanic showed up 15 minutes or so later. He double checked my tire and wheel, no glass that he could see. He fixed it and I barreled toward the expo center. I passed a girl in my age group, got to T2 and threw my socks and shoes on.

At first I was running 7:20 miles. I wish I could have done that the entire run. I started to cramp. All the waiting and frustration, my adrenaline was depleted and so was my hydration. Before the first mile I began to choke. Asthma attack. A guy ran next to me for a bit, slowing his pace to see if I was okay. I kept choking on the air, making noises that scared me. I calmed myself down, the attack subsided and it was all about reaching the water station.

The run was so slow. 9 minute miles. I wanted to do so much better. I cheered people on as I passed them, joked with the staff. I tried my best to keep my head up and just finish. All I wanted to do was finish with some dignity intact. Finally, I got to the last 100 yards. Sand? Really? You've got to be kidding me. No mad proud dash to the finish line, just went as fast as I could through the sand. Liesbeth was at the finish line, and I was so glad to see a familiar face.

"Where were you?" "I had two flat tires!" "What?! No! I thought you'd finish before me!" Sigh. I wish. I have a feeling I could have been 5th had I not had the flat tires. So lessons learned. Make sure you have your pump (though I'm going to buy CO2 cartridges). Going to see if I can't get more practice changing a tire from the local bike shop. Going to practice my transitions more. I know I shouldn't have had to depend on the bike mechanics, and if I had everything my time would have been a bit better. Unofficial results said I passed four girls in my age group, but they must have been in the "beginner swim" wave which was an option. Beginner swim waves, BTW, in my opinion are bullshit. Just sayin'.

So shitty race. Bound to happen, right? Learn from your mistakes, can't win 'em all, you'll get 'em next time. I've heard all the cliches. I'm okay, or at least dealing. I made a new friend, even if she is going back to Amsterdam in 2 weeks, and it's nice to know there's another run-bike-swim-fighter out there (she does boxing). Most of the remainder of the day was spent in traffic. Took 2 hours to get from Boston to Rt. 84. On a good day it takes 2.5 hours to get from Boston to New Haven. Traffic in 90 degree weather? Glorious.

People have asked how the body marking looks on my tattoos. Answer:

...a mess.

With my race issues aside, the Boston Urban Epic was a great race. The marketing was so well done, and I think it really helped to draw a younger crowd. There were too many volunteers doing nothing on the main drag, they could have been dispersed better, like having more in the expo center turnaround. The volunteers had given up by the time I was running, and I got very confused as to where the course went. Not only were they not paying attention at this point, but their lack of care because most of the racers had crossed the finish line was REALLY disheartening. More signs were needed in the labyrinth that was the run's turnaround. The views on the run were great, the beach with all the boats took my mind off of how miserable I really was. My biggest gripe was that there should have been a shuttle from the finish to the transition area. Walking a mile or so after a triathlon BLOWS.

Sake Guts, 10mi Run

2009-08-10T22:03:00.004-04:00

Just a quick post. I've been remiss in my blog writing as of late. Trying to balance that whole "social life" with the training. I'm signed up for the Urban Epic which is a new race. A bit nervous since it's in Boston and I'm not too familiar with where the course is. It's this Sunday so I'm hoping to go up early on Saturday, pick up my packet and spend awhile getting intimate with the course.

I drank for the first time in months. I haven't had more than 2 beers since MARCH. So I drank like a fish, only to aggravate my gastritis. It hurts as bad as it did when the symptoms started. I've been downing antacids and Prilosec. I won't say that I can't believe I was so foolish. I don't feel foolish. It was only a matter of time before the stars aligned, the mood was right, for a fun night of drinking to commence. I wish I was better about it, but I refuse to be hard on myself about this. I'm suffering enough for it as is. Hopefully I will be back to normal by Wednesday.

Last Thursday I ran my first 10 mile run. I went out hoping for 6 miles, and I just felt so strong at 6 that I kept going. Taking sodium pills and Clif Margarita Bloks before runs have really helped to minimize cramping. My pace was alright too, with an average of 8:43. My longest run before Thursday was 8.5 miles at an 8:55 pace way back in March. I remember ending that run thinking that running any more than that was insane. This run felt way better, and though I hit a few slow patches, I also found some great bursts of energy. Those bursts may or may not have to do with the fact that the sodium pills I bought contain taurine. I didn't realize they had it until after I had bought them. Not sure how I feel about that as an added ingredient.

Running 10 miles in under an hour and 30 minutes felt like quite the accomplishment and I was happy for days about it. Still am. So now I don't think running 10 miles or more is insane, and it's starting to feel completely doable again. There may be a half marathon in my forseable future. I'm so thankful I'm a decent runner. I am such a slow swimmer, and below average on the bike, it's nice that I at least have the running down.

Summer Salad Frenzy

2009-07-26T09:57:00.011-04:00

It's officially the time of year I love the most. I love the summertime for a lot of reasons: longer days, warm nights, beach trips; to name a few reasons. One of the main reasons I love summer is the abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables. I hate using the word "produce". It jumbles all the delicious, beautiful, colorful and edible plants into something so ordinary and generic sounding.

Recently, my friend Maura sent me a link to the article: "101 Simple Salads for the Season". It has inspired me all over again to approach eating salads on a daily basis. I realized my problem before was that I thought I was quite adventurous with my salads because I added fruits and nuts. Sadly, I was still eating the same salad almost every day. Though I never seem to tire of rice, beans and veggies, I tired quickly from my daily salad. The article "101 Simple Salads for the Season" opened me up to a lot more possibilities. First it reminded me that salads don't have to have greens as a base. Secondly it suggests salads with grains, pasta and beans, all of which help you feel full.

This first salad has been my go-to salad this week. It's baby spinach, radishes, sliced baby carrots, walnuts, craisins, and a bit of crumbled low-fat feta. I've been making a really simple dressing of olive oil, salt, pepper and lemon juice. I make the dressing in a tiny condiment cup (Thank you Japan.) the night before, and add it just before I'm ready to eat my salad. Other ingredients I've added to this are chickpeas, black beans, raspberries and brown rice.

This salad is from the article. "#18: Roughly chop cooked or canned chickpeas (you can pulse them, carefully, in a food processor) and toss with olive oil, lemon juice, lots of chopped fresh parsley and mint, and a few chopped tomatoes. Call this chickpea tabbouleh." I added the greens, which is another batch of lettuce from my garden. (The mint and parsley I used was also from my garden.) I also added some of the low fat feta, which has been my new favorite thing. Every time I get close to going vegan, I discover a new dairy product that is pretty healthy and delicious!

I've also been working as much fruit into my diet as possible. My cereal standby is to measure out one cup of Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal, and slice in a peach, a handful of blueberries, and slice up one banana.

Or I go completely overboard and combine cereal with: 1 peach, 1 banana, handful of raspberries and a handful of blueberries. This was pretty fantastic, the different fruits really complemented one another.

Since the big race I've had "post-race blues". Can't seem to bring myself to work out like before. Saturday I took things easy and really enjoyed the day. Went to the Farmer's Market and got a great bunch of kale for smoothies, and a quart of big local blueberries.

I rode my hybrid for the first time in months. At an easy pace I went down into New Haven, around the green that was setting up for an outdoor concert, and back into East Rock. I rode my bike up East Rock to the summit for the first time since last year (I think). I didn't stand up at all, and passed a couple on my way up. I picked a shady spot and read for awhile. Here is a picture of a few of my favorite things: bikes, ice cream, East Rock and a sunny summer day.

By the way, the picture at the top of this post is of a gigantic fruit salad I made for my coworker's birthday. I used: strawberries, peaches, blueberries, kiwis, grapes and watermelon. In a 1 cup measuring cup I squeezed in some agave nectar, and mixed it with a bit of water, lime juice and shredded mint. My coworkers LOVED this and I will definitely make it again. Don't drown the fruit with this mixture, just make enough to lightly coat the fruit!

Sobe Mossman Sprint - Photos

2009-07-22T22:01:00.002-04:00

I have to say, I'm really impressed with Capstone Photography's work! It's not easy getting everyone in a race, not to mention taking quality shots as people are running, biking and swimming around. I will probably buy a proof or two, or make my parents buy them, ha! Here are some of the better shots:

Sobe Mossman Sprint Triathlon

2009-07-21T21:12:00.011-04:00

Yay! My first race report! I'm pretty excited. After a year of reading other people's race reports I get to post my own! Knowing me it'll be really long and I'll forget important details! Sweet! Here we go...

Since my fall a couple weeks ago, I've been having pain in my chest under, well... my left breast. I looked it up online and it seems to be "costochondritis," which "is an inflammation of the junctions where the upper ribs join with the cartilage that holds them to the breastbone or sternum." I was paranoid that it was going to hurt during the run since even walking seemed to aggravate the pain. So, Friday after work I went to this sketchy Asian massage place on Whitney Ave. It's called Naturegene Herb Store, they also seem to have some sort of herbalist/doctor type guy there.

A wonderful friend gave me a gift certificate there and highly recommended the place. It's super cheap, something like $20 for half an hour, $55 for an hour. Since I had the half hour gift certificate, I paid $20 for a full hour! "Jasmine" was my masseuse and she was great! It was a little weird at first, but she really worked my whole body, even the glutes! Honestly, a tad uncomfortable getting my butt touched by a stranger, but it felt awesome, so whatever. She worked my sore shoulder and chest.

I found it so hard to relax and just focus on the massage. My mind wandered and worried, and I kept telling myself to focus and to "be present". I have to work at living in the moment, and so I did my best. I kept worrying because I didn't have cash on me, and kept wondering what I would do if they didn't take debit cards. I played scenarios of going to the nearest ATM and leaving my purse so they didn't think I was skipping out on them. I know, it's kind of neurotic. I kind of had an epiphany on the massage table, I told myself to relax, and deal with things as they happen. I can't worry about what may happen, because if whatever I worry about doesn't happen, then I have wasted my time and energy. I didn't know it at the time, but this would come in handy during the triathlon.

Saturday I ran a bunch of errands. It was really humid and gross, and I was trying to keep hydrated by drinking water all day. The humidity also made the chest pain worse, and I was taking two Advils at a time. I practiced my transitions a few times, until I felt comfortable. I forced myself to eat Kashi Go Lean cereal for dinner. I wasn't really hungry but I knew I had to eat something. I went to bed around 10pm and woke up around 3:30am.

Pre-Race:
Ideally I was supposed to wake up at 3am. I left my apartment around 4:45 and sped down 95S going about 85-90mph, passing several triathletes along the way. I imagined they were wondering if I raced as fast as I drove. I got there around 5:15am when pre-race packet pickup started. I got my number, a sheet of stickers with my race number, 304. The body marking on my left arm hardly showed up. He wrote right over Alice's face.

It was a beautiful morning, and I couldn't have asked for better weather. I wish I took a picture of the sunrise with my BlackBerry. It sounds disturbing, but the ocean looked like an oil slick. There were so many colors in the sky, and the water reflected everything. My parents drove all the way from Western Mass and got a hotel room in Norwalk. Dealing with parents while having pre-race anxiety and post-race low blood sugar is an event in itself. I was happy to have them there but honestly, I lost it a few times. They were great though, and so proud of me. My dad took all the photos on this post.

I set up my transition area where I was next to my friend Jen on Trifitness. There were a lot of Trifitness folks there which really calmed me down. It was just like practice, and I think having them around really helped. I didn't feel out of place, and I knew if I had any questions (which I did), they would be there for me (which they were). I took two Advils for my chest pain, and two Hammer Enduralytes to prevent cramping before I walked down to the swim start.

Swim:
Went into the water and warmed up a bit. Saw that Jen and Amelia were near me so I joined them. I felt good, and the water was the perfect temperature.

I was in the second wave. I'd say there were about 200 of us. Before the race girls were shouting encouragement to each other and getting psyched up. I found myself smiling. "It's just like practice," I told myself. I realized then to just enjoy it! There's no reason to take things too seriously. Then the horn went off and so did we...
I felt like a salmon swimming upstream. It was intense and awesome, and I struggled a few times but I tried my best to draft. I got my calves grabbed a few times, kicked off a few girls, got pushed by one girl on the final turn. I'm so glad I practiced swimming there the weekend before. I was prepared for the course and the current. At one point I took in too much water and forced the air out, sort of choking on it. I calmed myself down as to prevent an asthma attack. This was one of the moments where I reminded myself to "be present". "Don't focus on what could happen, focus on what is happening."

I swam in as far as I could and bolted out of the water, ripping off my suit. Don't I look graceful?

Seriously flattering photo of me:

T1:
Took WAY too long! 2:31! Out of 631 I placed 448 for my first transition. Yikes! I struggled with my bike cleats, which is weird cause I didn't have any trouble with them in practice. I'm okay with this though, because I realized the first triathlon is really just a HUGE learning experience.
Oh, and it doesn't help transitions to have your dad yell, "Hey Heath! Atta go!" Haha, but totally worth it!

Bike:
Had trouble clicking in, but once I did, I was off! Passed a girl on my tri team in the first few minutes. I was going fast and passing people. I finally went to take a sip from my water bottle with Nuun in it, and I dropped the bottle! I knew I needed it for the run though, and I didn't want someone to get hurt, so I stopped, got off my bike, screamed expletives, grabbed it and went. I'm sure this cost me at least 40 seconds, and all the people I passed, passed me. My goal was to pass everyone, again. One woman I passed shouted, "Great recovery from the water bottle!" "Thanks!" I shouted back, it made me feel good. Having her show me some positive support made me want to pass it on. I became... chipper. Oh my god I was having a blast! And being nice for no reason! Who am I?!

I shouted thank yous to all the staff and cops. I felt like such a nerd, but I've heard it's the nice thing to do, and really, they have better things to do, like SLEEP! At one point I caught up to the girl on my team I had passed earlier. I hammered down and got serious. Behind me I heard, "You got this! That's right, you've got it, go go!" I passed her and a few people. Then the biker behind me got next to me, "Great job! That was great!" "Thanks!" and he passed me and was gone. Later I realized he might have been drafting off of me. Honestly, didn't care, he made me feel like a pro! Another guy rode next to me, "Sweet bike!" I was shocked, since there were some serious future machines out there and I have an outdated Fuji. "I've got a Fuji too!" We exchanged a few words and he was off.

When I was riding back to the beach on my first loop I heard my friend Kelly shouting my last name. She gets a kick out of screaming my surname while sounding like an old man, like she's my angry boss or something. Hard to explain but it makes us both laugh every time. Anyway I heard her shouting my name, and I knew instantly it was her. I saw her and my other friend Jason and I was so happy! I screamed "Yeeeaaaa Motherf***er!" and I have no idea why that was my response.

The bike is a blur to me. I know by the end I was hammering down and passing any girl who looked remotely in my age group. I reminded myself to guzzle down the Nuun and to SLOWLY place my bottle in the cage.

T2:
Kind of slow on this one too, I think because I put my bike on the rack weird and corrected it. Forgot to put on my running number.

Run:
I hadn't done any brick workouts for awhile and I totally should have! I felt like I was going SO SLOW! I looked at my Garmin, shocked that I was doing an 8:30 pace. What the hell?! I knew this was a symptom of running after biking but I never had it feel so slow before. I felt like I was never going to get to the first mile. Once I hit the first mile though things felt more normal, of course then I started to feel a side stitch coming on. I cheered on my friend Jen who was suffering from a serious stitch. The stupid "water" station had Gatorade. Sick. I grabbed it anyway and most of it landed on my face. That stuff is gross and sticky and it's a huge pet peeve to feel sticky like that. I saw Fuji pass below me on the loop and I yelled, "Hey Fuji!! You got it!" Hahaha, once again I'm such a nerd.

Around this time two girls in my age group passed me. I was sort of struggling with the mild stitch, and figured there was no way I'd make the top 10 in my age group so I didn't push myself. My trainer passed me and told me to go faster, I tried to match her pace but she's a machine. (She ended up placing 3rd in women's overall... oh and she's 47. I want to be in her shape and kicking as much ass at her age!) Nearing the end, I picked up the speed, passed a girl who was 24 (our age was written on our calf). Then, I summoned what I had left and sprinted across the finish line making a crazy face and mouthing "F*** YOU F*** YOU!" over and over. Don't ask me why, but I just had to get angry and freak out to push myself. I ended up passing a girl in my age group on this mad dash. She was next to me in the transition area, and after the race said she tried to keep up but couldn't and that I did great.

My run time was 24:33. Not bad considering that on my 2nd 5k last year my time was 24:13 and I hadn't swam and biked before it!

Post-Race:
I felt great! After my 5ks last year I was a huffing, sweating mess. As soon as I got across the finish line, and took off my chip, I was totally fine. It didn't feel like I had just done a triathlon! I couldn't believe it. It shows me that I'm much more in shape than I was last year. Fitness is so hard to gauge, but this was the first time I realized how far I've come internally. To be able to do a triathlon and not feel exhausted is incredible. Muscles are visible, and can look great but I feel true fitness is within.

I had so much fun, and it was the perfect first race! It's been a long time since I've had such an enjoyable, happy time. I can't believe I was doing a triathlon with a smile on my face! I know every tri won't be as fun, and I can't expect to have everything go so well. Sure I made a few mistakes, but they were minor and it was my first! Like I said in my last post, I caught the bug I've been wanting to catch! Already signed up for a sprint that TriFitness is putting on in September. Debating signing up for a sprint in Boston in August. The Urban Epic sounds like a lot of fun, I'm just worried about the 5 mile run and the unfamiliarity with the area.

I learned so much from this race. Here's a few I can think of right away:

1. I learned how important transitions really are, and that I need to work on my transitions a little more. I know every article says that transitions are vital, but not ever doing a race before, it didn't sink in to me how big a few minutes can be! A minute less and I could've been 8th or 9th in my age group.

2. I can do this! Since I didn't have any idea of what my time was going to be, I aimed for under 1:30. When I looked back to the clock and realized I was well under this goal I was SO proud! I laughed with joy like I haven't in ages and hugged my friend Kelly. Now that I know I'm capable of 1:23 I would love to get below 1:20.

3. Push myself more! Ending a race and feeling like I still had more left in me?! I don't want to over do it, but now that I know I can in fact finish a triathlon, I need to have more faith in myself and push!

4. Do more brick workouts!

TriFitness Girls! They are a bunch of Amazons!

My friends Kelly and Jason, who seriously rock for showing up!

My results:

Bonus: I was 10th in my age group (out of 27). My secret goal was to be in the top 10. If I hadn't sprinted at the end, I wouldn't have made my goal!

It's Official!

2009-07-19T15:06:00.003-04:00

I'm officially a triathlete!

That's pretty much all I have to say for now. Unofficial results say I'm 7 minutes under my goal! Will wait for proper results to give a full race report. Glad to say, I caught the bug I've been wanting to catch all this time! I want to race again!

Friends, if you're reading this: THANK YOU! Thank you for putting up with a friend who puts off hang-outs and nights out so that she could train. I've been selfish, and really, that's what I needed. To be selfish for awhile and go after something only I could make happen. ( ...and Trifitness training of course!) Thank you all for your support and telling me on a consistent basis that I kick ass. I thought about everyone out there, and it pushed me to hammer down and pass people. I will sign up for more races, but I also want to be better at balancing training time, with spending time with those of you who have shown me true friends do exist.

Fast Food Nutrition - Part 1

2009-07-11T14:30:00.016-04:00

I've decided to compile a list of fast food places and their healthier "vegetarian" menu options. I'm trying to keep them under 400 calories, with minimal grams of fat and low in sugar. I've listed the nutritional info I always keep in mind: calories, fat, sodium, carbs/sugars. I put bold font on some things to watch for, such as high sugar or fat content. Personally, I try my best to stay away from items that have 15 grams of sugar or above. If they contain more, than I think of it more as a "treat".

I decided to leave in some egg sandwich options, even though I've been trying to stay away from eating eggs as a main part of a meal. There is no "perfect" fast food meal. The best of the bunch here is Starbuck's Perfect Oatmeal, if you hold back a little on the toppings. These are just some meals to keep in mind when you're hungry on-the-go. This took me a lot of time and research, so I'm going to break it up into parts, doing as many chains as I can deal with at a time.

Starbucks
I've hated on Starbucks for quite some time. I still don't like the idea of selling yourself as "your local coffee shop" when it's not, at all. It tries to give the feel of your quirky downtown coffee joint, but has millions of locations worldwide. However, it seems they are finally making a real effort to provide foods with few additives and better ingredients. I love that they have Soy Milk as an option. They are becoming my favorite for to-go foods, I just wish some of their items had less sugar.

Orange Mango Banana Vivanno Smoothie (made with Soy Milk)*:
270 cal, 4g fat, 135mg sodium, 50g carbs, 30g sugar, 17g protein

Strawberry Banana Vivanno Smoothie (made with Soy Milk)*:
280 cal, 2g fat, 115mg sodium, 54g carbs, 39g sugar, 15g protein
*Just a heads up, even though I calculated these smoothies with soy milk, the smoothies contain whey protein so they are not vegan.

Perfect Oatmeal:
140 cal, 2.5g fat, 105mg sodium, 25g carbs, 0g sugar, 5g protein

Oatmeal Toppings:
Brown Sugar: 50 cal, 0g fat, 0mg sodium, 13g carbs/sugar, 0g protein
Dried Fruit: 100 cal, 0g fat, 10mg sodium, 24g carbs, 20g sugar, 1g protein
Nut Medley: 100 cal, 9g fat, 0mg sodium, 2g carbs, 1g sugar, 2g protein
(When I got a Perfect Oatmeal recently, I sprinkled on less than a quarter of the brown sugar packet, and the whole packet of dried fruit. It was really good!)

Multigrain Bagel:
320 cal, 4g fat, 220 sodium, 62g carbs, 8g sugar, 12g protein

Dark Cherry Yogurt Parfait:
320 cal, 5g fat, 140 sodium, 58g carbs, 40g sugar, 11g protein

Strawberry Blueberry Yogurt Parfait:
350 cal, 4.5g fat, 100mg sodium, 66g carbs, 35g sugar, 10g protein

Dunkin Donuts
I've always been partial to Dunkin Donuts. A brand started in my home state of Massachusetts, it's the coffee joint for the "Regular Joe". They are trying to promote healthy eating with their DD Smart menu, but at the same time still pandering to America's gluttonous ways with a Waffle Breakfast Sandwich that has a whopping 23g of fat! I looked it up, that's 3 grams MORE fat than a McDonald's Double Cheeseburger! Still if you're on the go, these are easy to find in the Northeast where we have one approximately every 100 feet.

Multi Grain Bagel
400 cal, 9g fat, 600mg sodium, 65g carbs, 2g sugar, 18g protein

Reduced Fat Cream Cheese:
100 cal, 8g fat, 250mg sodium, 5g carbs, 2g sugar, 4g protein
(I usually use half a container or less, but here is the the info for a full one)

Egg White Veggie Flatbread Sandwich
290 cal, 9g fat, 680mg sodium, 39g carbs, 4g sugar, 11g protein

English Muffin:
160 cal, 1.5g fat, 340mg sodium, 31g carbs, 2g sugar, 6g protein

Egg & Cheese on English Muffin:
350 cal, 13g fat, 730mg sodium, 34g carbs, 3g sugar, 14g protein

Brueggars
Relatively small chain compared to the previous two. There are a few in the area, and I enjoy going to them from time to time. I love that they have hummus as an option for bagel/sandwich topping. They have a "build your own salad" option, which is great. Their Mandarin Salad sounds great, but is loaded with fat and sugars.

Multi Grain "Fortified" Bagel:
350 cal, 4g fat, 550mg sodium, 69g carbs, 10g sugar, 13g protein
Add jelly for 50 cal

Garden Veggie Deli Sandwich:
400 cal, 2.5g fat, 620mg sodium, 82g carbs, 14g sugar, 16g protein

McDonalds
Do I even need to go into my qualms with McDonalds? I haven't been to one in over a year. I don't know when the last time I was there was. I think it was 4:30 am in NYC waiting for the next train to New Haven and decided fries were the only thing that could console me after using the hobo bathroom

Premium Caesar Salad (without chicken)*
90 cal, 4g fat, 180mg sodium, 9g carbs, 4g sugar, 7g protein
*I don't think this included dressing, as always, use sparingly.

Snack Size Fruit & Walnut Salad
210 cal, 12g fat, 60mg sodium, 31g carbs, 25g sugar, 4g protein

Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait
160 cal, 2g fat, 85mg sodium, 31g carbs, 21g sugar, 4g protein

Fruit 'n Yogurt Parfait without Granola
130 cal, 2g fat, 55mg sodium, 25g carbs, 19g sugar, 4g protein

Egg McMuffin no meat, no cheese
240 cal, 9g fat, 350mg sodium, 28g carbs, 2g sugar, 12g protein

English Muffin with Strawberry Preserves
190 cal, 3g fat, 280mg sodium, 36g carbs, 11g sugar, 5g protein

Yale Shoreline Ride

2009-07-11T12:13:00.011-04:00

I can't believe it was a week ago today that I did the Yale Shoreline Ride! It was such a beautiful ride though, that I have to post about it. Sorry for such a delay, writing this blog in a timely fashion is nearly impossible with everything going on. And more apologies, this is will not be my best writing. I spent from 8:30pm - 1:30am at my SWIM Across the Sound fundraiser. I was the door girl, and had to convince semi/completely inebriated folks to hand over $10 for the cause. We raised a lot of money, although I don't think we hit our goal. I had a great night once I got into the groove of talking to people. Unfortunately it was under 60 degrees outside, and for a cold-wimp like me that's freezing.

BTW it's not too late to donate to my SWIM Across the Sound page!

Yale Shoreline Map:
&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/ride/united-states/ct/new-haven/570656185"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Yale Shoreline 79&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/find-ride/united-states/ct/new-haven"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Bike Rides in New Haven, Connecticut&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
This was the first time I uploaded a map to my Garmin. It came in handy when I went off course and it started beeping at me. Unfortunately it doesn't really tell you HOW to get back on the track. Luckily I had my new BlackBerry Storm with me, and I used the Google Maps app to find my way. I could have set my Garmin to have a "partner" and gave the "partner" a specific pace that I wanted to beat. Since this was my first time going over 40 miles, I decided no pace setting was necessary. As long as I was above 14mph average, I was okay with it.

I started out my day by powering up with this amazing breakfast. Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal, with Unsweetened Soy Milk, a fresh peach and blueberries. It was a fantastic blend of bright summery colors, crunchy filling goodness and sweet fruits. I'm a firm believer that color makes things taste better. This breakfast is about 350 calories. Perfect for a normal day, but I had 60 miles ahead of me. I also ate a Kashi Go Lean Crunchy bar as well. I love their Chocolate Caramel flavored bar, it satisfies my sweet tooth without being too fattening. 150 calories, with 3 grams of fat and 8 grams protein. 14g sugar is relatively okay compared to other "healthy" bars out there.

If you live in the New Haven area, I highly recommend this ride. I would say it's a moderate course, even though it's long. There are a lot of fun rolling hills, and only a few that were tough. Compared to the Bloomin' Metric ride, this was a flat course! Most of the course is spent on main roads, but they are in the country and most of it is on a bike route. The Yalies marked a lot of the turns which made things even easier for me. The traffic wasn't bad, except for a few areas, and that was only because it was the Fourth of July.

Going up to Durham, there are plenty of views of local farms and the small Connecticut "mountains". I was excited to find an immaculate Porta-Potty in Northford at a park that was right off of 17. When I opened the door and found it had toilet paper too (nice toilet paper, by the way, not dirty damp toilet paper) I gasped with glee. Near Durham center I ran into another biker, and I asked him how close I was to getting onto Durham Rd, which is the road that leads south. I don't want to sound rude, but I don't think he quite got where I was trying to go, and his directions seemed a bit off. Or maybe we both just misunderstood each other. Either way I was happy he was nice at least, and not a stuck up at all, which seems to happen to dudes when they're compressed by bright spandex.

The whole ride I nibbled on Kashi Honey Almond Flax bars. (Sorry I'm starting to sound like a Kashi commercial, I'm just on a huge Kashi kick right now!) I was never starving on my ride and I think it helped a lot with my energy level. I wanted to prevent getting overtired, and thus cranky. When the cranky kicks in, that's when my rides/workouts go horribly wrong and I end up lost, miserable and near tears. Around 1 or 2 I stopped in Madison at a little deli. I splurged and got an Eggplant Parm sandwich on whole wheat bread. The guy thought I was crazy for getting Eggplant Parm on wheat bread. I continually ask places to make Eggplant Parm on alternate forms of bread, just this Thursday I asked for one on a wheat wrap. I always get the same confused reaction, followed by a look that can only be described as, "whatever floats your boat". Oh. It floats my boat, sir.

The guy at the deli seemed a little annoyed by my request. I don't know, he didn't seem friendly. Then he complemented me on my tattoos, followed by the standard, "You're not from around here, are you?" Ha! I love when people ask me that! "Nope." I told him I was from New Haven, and he gave a reactive nod and a "Ah." "That's far, no?" he asked. (He was foreign, I'm assuming he doesn't get around CT too much.) "Um about another 30 miles or so I think." "How long have you gone?" "I'm at 24 miles now." Behind his eyes, his brain exploded a little. After that he was really nice to me and wished me luck on my ride.

As I continued along I realized I was in Guilford, CT. I passed by my new favorite place to eat outside of New Haven, the Shoreline Diner. But that's not the full name of the diner though, oh no. It's the Shoreline Diner & Vegetarian Enclave. Isn't that wonderful? It makes me laugh every time, it sounds like it's some secret vegetarian headquarters where we plot secret plans and maniacally laugh as we concoct new ways to turn soy beans into fake meats. M-W defines enclave as: an enclosed territory that is culturally distinct from the foreign territory that surrounds it. I can attest that most of CT outside of its more progressive cities can view my questions of "Is there meat in the sauce?" as culturally distinct. To have a nice place like this that "gets" veganism is exciting. I ate here once before, but it's a bit out of the way to visit on a regular basis. Next time I do this ride I'm definitely stopping there. They have a great, diverse menu, about a quarter of it is vegan.

Sigh, it's taking me forever to write this post, and I'm mostly rambling. I'll end with a couple pictures I took while on 146, the shoreline part of the ride.

I believe this area is known as Leetes Island. I saw many egrets, a crane, and soon after this picture was taken a painted turtle trying to cross the road:

Near Lighthouse Point. By this time I was nearing the end of my ride, my arms were killing me and I just wanted to float across the harbor to New Haven proper, where I belong.

End Results: 60mi, 4hrs 15 min, avg speed of 14.12. By the end I was so beat I think it dramatically cut down my speed. Oh well. It was a beautiful day, a beautiful ride, and I now have a sweet bike shorts tan that starts halfway down my thighs.

The Ups and Downs of Running

2009-07-10T06:50:00.006-04:00

This post is brought to you by my favorite product of all. Bird's Eye Classic Mixed Vegetables. They are the perfect accompaniment to black beans and rice, they are cheap, and easily transportable. They are also my favorite ice packs.

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful. I had to show my apartment since I'm looking for a new roommate, so I couldn't go to spin class as usual. Nor would I have anyway since it was so nice out. After I showed the apartment, I decided to go for a run. I wanted to go 6 miles. At first my run was going great! By the time I hit the downtown area of New Haven, I was running just under 8 minute miles! I was pumped and I kept at it, pumping myself up more with positive affirmations. I did hill intervals during my morning workout, and it seems I immediately see a speed increase after those sessions. I kept telling myself I need to do more hill intervals because I was going so fast!

I felt great, I looked great. I've committed myself to doing abdominal workouts every other day (which I will post more about later) and it's really starting to show. All was going well until I tripped on a grate in the sidewalk I've run over a dozen times. I hit the ground, HARD. Two ladies who were several yards ahead of me where turned around when I got myself up. My shoulder and knee immediately began to burn. I looked over to my shoulder, it glowed red. I paused my iPod, and one of the ladies yelled, "It only hurts for a minute! Were you running?" "Yes."

I walked forward, a bit defeated. Every time I'm feeling awesome about myself and my progress I get smacked down. It's become an Icarus complex, I can never fly high without getting burnt. I muttered expletives and thought about what I was going to do. Am I going to walk home? What would I tell people? What would I write on my blog? Haha. I thought to some encouraging words my friend Maura had just texted me an hour or so before. She told me how I was an inspiration to her, and that she's been running more. I was so touched, and happy to hear that. I needed that. I've been having a down week, I feel weak but I have no real explanation. I think with the whole roommate situation and some other thoughts I've been having, on top of lack of sleep, has just gotten to me. I wanted to cry, I almost cried. I had a flashback to Muay Thai sparring, when I got the wind knocked out of me. The trainer was right next to me again screaming "Don't CRY! DON'T CRY!! SUCK IT UP!" And so I sucked it up, and swallowed it down like a rancid shot of cheap whiskey.

So all this ran through my head at a thousand miles an hour. Not even a minute after falling, I turned my iPod back on, I restarted my now scraped up Garmin and started running. No way I was walking home. What if I fell during a race? I think I need some injury perseverance training. I passed a woman who was smiling at me, like really smiling. I couldn't tell if she was smiling at me because I'm tattooed (which is usually the case) or if she could tell I was injured (my shoulder was a brilliant shade of lava) and realized I kept on running. Most likely it was just the tattoos, but I decided to go with, "She thinks I'm awesome because I got back up."

So I ran, debating the entire time whether I was doing more harm than good, or if this wasn't such a bad idea. By the time I got to my street I was feeling "good". Okay, I was in pain, but the rest of me wanted at least another mile. I fell at mile 2.5 and I was now a mile past that, so I decided to push myself even more. I went down Whitney a little more before I turned onto a road that was sort of heading back home. I was running sub 8:30 min miles. I kept going and by the time I was nearing my apartment I was really in pain. In the end I ran 4.28 miles with a pace of 8:23. Had I not injured myself I probably would have had a pace of 8 or even below. Still, under 8:30 is fine with me.

Excuse me Mr. Flamingo, it seems your head has exploded.

It looks so lame! The real pain isn't the scrape, it's my complete shoulder. During my cool down walk I tried to move my shoulder, and I heard that digital noise in my head, the sound a camera flash used to make when it charges. Shit. This is bad. I only hear that noise if I'm about to pass out or I'm in a lot of pain. As soon as I got home I took two bags of Bird's Eye Mixed Vegetables, laid on my mat, and put one on my shoulder and one on my knee and just laid there. I looked up at the ceiling wondering how bad it was, or if I was just being dramatic. After the icing I put Ziploc bags with wet microwaved towels in them on my injuries. Then Google said not to do that. Only long term injuries get heat. But the heat felt so good! The ice made me stiff and hurt more. So I iced again, and took a shower, which loosened up my shoulder and knee again.

This morning I debated working out, because I'm insane. Luckily I realized I'm insane, and opted for a rest day. Because sometimes I need to admit I'm human, which is hard for me to do. I'm sore, and I keep trying to stretch out and move my shoulder. Luckily my knee isn't so bad. So I will probably go to the gym after work, to go to the sauna and hopefully loosen it up some more. I know they say not to heat it, but it makes it feel so much better. I think the muscles are just knotted up, and hopefully I will be able to swim this weekend.

Show me Your Six Pack

2009-07-03T23:02:00.006-04:00

As I was getting dressed at the gym, I overheard a girl crying and talking on her cellphone. At first I thought she was just a crazy drama queen. While I was washing my face, I heard more of her conversation. Turns out she just did a fitness assessment, which is basically how the gym cons people into paying for personal training sessions. Before I joined my gym I read horror stories a lot like her's online. I was so intimidated to join my gym, fearing they would be pushy salesmen but personally I've never had a problem. Then I heard her say what the trainer said to her, and my blood boiled. "He said I could look better in a bikini, I think I already look fine in a bikini! And then he said, "Well show me your six pack." And I was like, I'm not showing you anything!"

This girl was skinny and fit. She was about my size but a little taller, with long full hair, and you could just tell she took good care of herself. There was no reason that the trainer should have said that to her. When she got off the phone she was still crying a bit. I thought back to all the "Operation Beautiful" posts and articles I've seen in the past week. As the site states, "The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find." In my opinion, the Operation Beautiful thing is a great gesture, and a step in the right direction, but being anonymous just seems kind of unhelpful and generic. I realized this was my opportunity to be the better person I'm trying to be and help a fellow girl out. To go the step beyond what "Operation Beautiful" does, and actually reach out to someone who needs to hear some kind words and positive reinforcement.

I should bring up, in terms of "sisterhood", I've been a terrible female. Girls picked on me so much growing up, that I really have a hard time trusting other females. I've spoken a lot of hateful and degrading words towards women, and I'm not proud of it. I've come to realize more recently that the things that men have said about my body and other girl's bodies has really affected me deeply. I can recall vividly all the times guys, and often guys I loved or respected, have said things that were painful. One of my ex boyfriends, who was a very tolerate, peaceful happy-go-lucky kind of guy has said things about other girl's bodies that made me worry. I wonder if those are the kinds of things they think about me and my body. They must have seen the "muffin top" on me that they pointed out on that girl.

So, I was thinking about all this when she was on the phone, and decided I was going to say something. Other women in the locker room heard her but minded their own business. I was scared she'd be angry at me for clearly eavesdropping though honestly, she was talking really loud. Anyway, I went up to her and said, "Which trainer said that to you?" She started talking to me, and as she was, a woman who teaches spin craned around the lockers, her face in shock. She missed hearing the phone call but when she heard that the girl was upset by an employee she was irate. Unfortunately the people that teach classes aren't really employees, as the work like 3 hours a week, so she couldn't really do anything to complain.

The girl went on to say that she only did the fitness assessment because she's new to the gym and doesn't know how any of the machines work. She was intimidated to begin with because it's a new place, bigger than her old gym and she doesn't know anyone. She's confident that she has her own fitness plan down, which she has every right to be because she's fit. All she wanted was a little help getting familiar with the equipment, but the employee, who is basically a salesman, used dirty tactics to get her to sign up for a personal trainer. I don't think guys ever realize how painful their words can be. I'm sure he knew he was upsetting her, but didn't think of the consequences of how what he said could affect her after tomorrow.

I told the girl she was beautiful and fit. I told her she has every reason to be confident in herself, and not let some massive muscled dude with shrunken balls tell her any different. The spin teacher joined in and said to just be "an asshole to anyone who talks to you like that. Just walk away, tell them they just lost a sale." The girl said she didn't know what to do, that she didn't want to leave the locker room. I told her to just go back out there, get on a treadmill and show him that he didn't beat her down. I also told her that I've never had that problem, and that the class instructors are a lot better than the people who work there full time. I told her I've met a lot of nice people there, and that this was just one bad experience and not to let it pull her down or stop her from going to the gym. She was really appreciative and after talking to me for a bit she calmed down.

Sometimes it's so hard to take a little time to put yourself aside, and help someone else. I've been trying a lot lately to be patient with other people and talk to them. It seems so simple, but I've closed myself off a lot these past couple of years. The other day an Asian lady who wants to get her eyebrows tattooed asked me questions for about 20 minutes. She didn't get the concept that the tattoos will never wash off. Her English wasn't that great either so it made it really hard, especially when I just wanted to go home. Other women were watching us, though they were on the other side of the lockers, they could see us in the mirror. I don't want to perpetuate the stereotype that tattooed people are anti-social and uneducated. Seriously, I've had people treat me like I've been to jail and didn't go to college and must wear a name tag where I work. Usually it's been doctors and nurses, and if they spend 5 minutes with me realize they're completely wrong.

Anyway, that was a bit off topic, but what I'm getting at is I'm trying to be a better human. The transformation I seek isn't purely physical. These past few years I've been losing weight, gaining muscle, learning new sports, learning what my body is capable of, the list goes on and on. The progress I've made physically has given me a lot of insight into a wide variety of things. Since I've become more athletic I've inspired people, been able to motivate friends, helped people in a positive way, and I'm so grateful for that. I need to be better to my fellow females most of all. The older I get the more I realize they have the same hang-ups and insecurities that I do, and that we should be supportive of each other instead of giving into the competitive, "catty" bullshit that tends to arise. I need to put the past behind me and stop assuming the worst.

Train, Grains and Gains

2009-07-03T20:34:00.009-04:00

Last week I did so much that I think I'm burnt out this week. Last week's totals:
Run: 13.05mi
Bike: 53.93mi
Spin: 1hr 30min
Swim: 6000yards
Strength: 1hr 46min
and I also walked/hiked about 3 miles and did my last kettlebells and kickboxing classes at Aiki. I've been getting a pitiful 6 hours of sleep a night lately. I've been trying to get myself to sleep earlier, but I end up getting sucked into the internet doing nothing in particular. I've been kind of dragging in all my workouts this week. Spin class has been the exception, the teacher made both classes this week Michael Jackson tributes! I was rocking out both classes and it was a lot of fun. My insane teacher at one point screamed, "MJ's lookin' down on you guys, and he's like... meh... PUSH HARDER! DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH!!!" Have I mentioned before that my spin instructor is insane? Well if I haven't, now you know.

I'm so happy I got to bike outside twice last week! Finally! I've been getting a lot better at dealing with the clip pedals, which is great. I'm feeling confident on the bike again and now look forward to riding again. I think going to spin is helping my speed on the bike, so I'm going to continue going at least once a week. When the canal path is empty, I'll hammer away and think back to how much I push myself in spin class. I ask myself, "If you can push yourself so hard in spin class, why are you holding back now?" Usually that will motivate me and I will get up to 20-21mph! Now if only I could get that as my average speed!

Last week I really pushed myself swimming too. I've been using old workouts from Trifitness, and have been trying to do the A or B group workouts. A is advanced, B are moderate, and the C group ones were the newbies/slow swimmers. Last week was the first time I swam over 3000 yards in a workout. My arms were killing me by the end but I was really proud that I'm adding more distance.

This week I went to a Naturopathic doctor. I decided I do not want to treat my stomach with harsh antibiotics and medicines. Speaking with the doctor I felt relieved, finally a doctor that takes my lifestyle into account. You'd think all doctors, especially concerning stomach problems would care about how I was eating. Neither my primary care doctor or my gastroenterologist really asked about my diet. I think they take one look at me and just assume I'm healthy. The naturopath has doubled some of the vitamins I take already, as well as added some more and some herbal remedies. I'm going to get a breath test to see if I do in fact have an H. pylori infection. He says I should avoid dairy for 3 weeks, which I've been okay about. I did cave completely yesterday and had soft serve ice cream, pizza AND chocolates. My hormones have been insane this week, my face broke out and my cravings are out of control. TMI be damned, my PMS some months is ridiculous.

I haven't been very raw this week at all, and I'm okay with that. I think it's best for me to eat raw foods but also get plenty of whole grains. Training as much as I do, I need more substantial carbohydrates, which is very similar to Brendan Brazier's views. Also, I can't bring myself to eat salad! It's like I go on a salad kick and I eat salad every day for a few weeks, and then the sight of greens makes me gag. I've been eating a lot of quinoa! Quinoa is an awesome super food! Most commonly considered a grain, quinoa is actually a relative of leafy green vegetables like spinach and Swiss chard. It is a recently rediscovered ancient "grain" once considered "the gold of the Incas." - WHfoods.com

I tried quinoa last year, but it was too earthy for me. This year I incorporated my new habit of adding vegetable bouillon (which I do to add flavor to brown rice) and I've found it makes quinoa so much better. Quinoa is a lot faster to make than brown rice, and can be made in around 20 minutes. Compare that to the hour or so it takes to make brown rice! (Unless of course you're using a more instant brand.) Below are the food charts from WHFoods:

As you can see quinoa has iron and other nutrients that brown rice lacks. "Unlike wheat or rice (which are low in lysine), quinoa contains a balanced set of essential amino acids for humans, making it an unusually complete protein source." (Wikipedia) I've been making quinoa with beans, frozen spinach and mixed vegetables. I bought Eden Foods brand quinoa, but the best bang for your buck is to go to your local health foods store and buy it in bulk. It's super easy to prepare. Wash the quinoa with cold water in a collander that is mesh metal, and has very tiny holes. I grab the quinoa with one hand and rub it against itself. This cleans off the quinoa's natural coating called saponins. If you ever played with Floam as a kid, you'll have some nostalgic flashbacks when washing the quinoa. It gets bunched together and is just like the foam pellet putty from back in the day. Bring 1-1/4 cups water to a boil and add in a cup of quinoa; simmer, covered for 15min (or until all water evaporates). Remove from heat and cool, covered for 5 minutes. Then fluff with a fork, and it's ready to serve!

I've also been on a HUGE Kashi kick. Kashi Go Lean Crunch has been on sale at Stop and Shop, as well as their TLC bars. I've always been kind of weary of Kashi, being part of a big corporation and all, but I've given them a second chance. The more I look at their nutritional labels, the more I realize how great their products are. All their products are packed with protein, fiber and healthy fats and very little sugar. I have to admit, right here, I work for a company that sells Kashi. Really the only advantage I get, is an employee discount, making it more of an incentive for me to buy their products. The other day I was in a grocery store I never go to, looking for healthy vegetarian options for me, since I was having dinner at my meatatarian friend Dan's place. I was craving an oatmeal raisin cookie. I looked all around but found no healthy options until I went in the granola section. I found a box of Kashi's TLC Oatmeal Flax Cookies. Wow, not only are they a decent size, but they were the healthiest option I could find for an oatmeal cookie.

When I buy instant oatmeal to eat at work, I buy Kashi's Creamy Truly Vanilla oatmeal. I went through a huge search, as only a nutrition nut like me would, for the "perfect" instant oatmeal. So many instant oatmeals, from Quaker to the most organic "healthy" brands out there add SO MUCH SUGAR to their oatmeal. I was eating Quaker's Weight Control Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal for the longest time, but it tastes like aspertame. (Funny side note: My coworker for the longest time would always mention how he loves the smell of my oatmeal until he realized it was the Quaker's Weight Control one and was so disheartened. He's tried it in the past too, and said it was too awful to finish!) Also, the Quaker portion was so small, it never filled me up. Kashi's oatmeal is awesome because you can add more water. You can't just add hot water, you have to microwave it too, to really cook the grains in it. Nuking it makes it fluffy and creamy and a lot more filling.

One last endorsement. Kashi waffles, oh man. I don't get the Kashi waffles on discount, and this is a real bummer. They've been recommended to me by a few people, and I finally decided to try them out. They are a great treat to buy! If I ever see them on sale, I'm stocking up! I've had them with apple spread and with fresh peaches, but they'd be great with any fruit, or none at all. I add a little Earth Balance spread and drizzle on agave nectar. I have to say, I've tried Van's waffles too, and these are great, but comparing their nutritional value, Kashi wins. Kashi's has less fat, less calories, and more protein. If you are vegan though go with Van's, Kashi's uses dairy and eggs, unfortunately.

In summation, adding back the whole grains into my diet has helped a lot. I feel I have more endurance, and feel stronger in general. I still have a smoothie in the morning, and mostly raw fruits and veggies for snacks with the addition of a Kashi bar. Now I just have to work on getting in more sleep, and I should be making even more progress!

Progress

2009-06-28T18:03:00.007-04:00

So I'm going to be brave and post this pic. I've done a lot of amateur modeling for friends over the years, mostly for fellow art students under tight deadlines. The first two pics were taken by music photographer Jeremy Saffer, a very good friend on mine who I've modeled for many times. The middle picture is actually from a set, which another photo of was published in some book overseas. The last pic was taken by another good friend of mine (who I've mentioned on this blog several times), Kelly Jensen. Decapitated because... I don't know the internet is creepy.

The first photo is from December of 2005. My diet consisted of meat, some fast food, and a lot of beer and whiskey. I went to the gym MAYBE twice a week, where I did a half hour of elliptical and some weights. I was finishing up my senior year of art school, and scarfing down cheese and hors d'oeuvres at openings and washing it all down with free booze. The second photo is from June 2007. I had started working out on a regular basis, and had been vegetarian since January. I was working out 3 to 4 times a week. 1 - 2 days were spent at Muay Thai classes, and a lot of these pics from this shoot show my legs covered in bruises from full-contact sparring. The other few days a week were spent doing a half an hour of intervals on the elliptical, and strength training. The third, taken Saturday, shows me the 6 days a week of working out triathlete in training.

1. Dec 2005 - Approx 135lb
2. Jun 2007 - Approx 120lb
3. Jun 2009 - 115lb

There's a huge difference between 1 and 2. Looking back on those pics I can't believe how heavy I look compared to now. 2 and 3 is harder to see, especially since I'm clothed (for once). The biggest difference is my thighs! They have toned up so much, and I'm so proud of my progress. Those legs have gone hundreds of miles and I've spent hours of strength training to tighten them up. It's also hard to tell, since my shirt is kind of unflattering, but my stomach is a lot more toned. My hips kind of look bigger in 3 but it's only because my stance is wider.

I can tell you that since 2007 I've definitely lost a lot of cellulite. I've been toning up the weight loss for a whole two years, and I still have a little ways to go. My butt went from badaonkadonk to flabby pancake, and after two years I'm finally okay with it. It could be a little fuller with muscle, but I think if I keep working at it, it will get there. I wanted to post this to show that toning up TAKES TIME. And it's slow but believe me, it's so worth it. I was wearing shorts on Sunday I used to wear all the time during the summer of 2007. They used to be totally filled with my thighs. Now they are ridiculously loose. I went from a size 8-9 pants, to now size 5, and even then sometimes the size 5 is a bit too big!

There is no magic pill, no easy way to get a toned body. It takes patience, time, strength training, watching your diet, cardio, motivation, and a lot of determination.

Here Comes the Pain Again

2009-06-22T18:17:00.005-04:00

Here in the northeast we've had the wettest, soggiest, most depressing summer ever so far. It seems fitting that my insides have been just as miserable as the outdoors. Last night I had a horrific bout of pain that had me contemplating driving myself to the ER. I was scared and don't know exactly what happened, but it seems my gastritis flared up big time. I made it through the night somehow, and managed to do a quick workout this morning, even though I wasn't 100%. When I got to my desk at work, the pain came in waves throughout the morning and I left work late enough to have it count as a half day.

I'm pretty miserable right now, but it's been nice to rest up and cuddle with my beloved cat Björk. I haven't had much quality time with her with all the training I've been doing. I really don't know how tri-moms do it! I have so much respect for all the moms out there that train, I can hardly take care of myself and my cat let alone myself and tiny humans.

Thanks for the comments on my last entry! I got some great feedback about posting my simple recipes. I hope to do it more often. I have for you today two ridiculously easy ones. One quick and simple meal, and one snack.

Baked Potato with Steamed Broccoli and Carrots. This takes 15 minutes, and for me is my go-to comfort meal. People at work ask me all the time how I bake a potato in a microwave, which always strikes me as odd. My dad's been doing it forever and I never thought twice about it. Stab a potato a few times and wrap it up in a paper towel. Nuke it 4 min on each side. For the broccoli and carrots I use my rice cooker to steam them and it takes 10-12 min. Before I had a rice cooker I'd boil a bit of water, put a colander in the pot, and cover it with a lid. I use about 1Tbsp of Earth Balance margarine to add flavor and moisture to this meal, and sprinkle on salt and pepper, as well as a bit of onion and garlic powder onto the carrots and broccoli. This is one of those warm meals that fills me up without being fattening and leaves me satisfied every time.

Bananas with Almond Butter, Raisins and Agave Nectar. This is a snack I use to satisfy a sweet craving. To me it's like a homemade, healthy candy bar. Cut a banana in half, and then cut the two halves lengthwise. Spreading peanut butter or almond butter on a banana is a pain! I usually have to use my fingers to help spread it out. (By the way, Raw Almond Butter at Trader Joe's is FANTASTIC and cheap, $4 a jar! Thank you Kelly for telling me about this, I'm spreading the word! Haha, I'm so lame!) If you're into raisins, like I am, put a few on top. Over everything I add a drizzle of Agave Nectar. This is also a great post workout snack, I would advise against this as a pre workout snack, as the banana and raisins may upset the stomach when its jostled around.

For the past few weeks I've been using Buckeye Outdoors to really track my nutrition. If I went by the online caloric needs calculators I would need well over 2000 calories a day. It seems this is way too much for me. When I eat around 1800 a day I usually gain weight. So I've been keeping my intake to around 1500 -1800 max. Eating lots of raw fruits and veggies has helped me to reach my goal and feel full/satisfied for longer. Before work (usually the night before) I pack two 2 cup snack containers. One I fill with a fruit salad of pineapple, cherries and blueberries. The other I put in carrot sticks, celery and a little container with hummus. These have been great and I highly recommend putting together fresh veggie/fruit snacks like this for work.

Anyway, back to laying around in bed, watching The Office on Hulu, looking up recipes and snuggling with Ms.Björk.

Back to (Mostly) Raw

2009-06-21T08:32:00.008-04:00

Last year in the summer time, due to the abundance of fresh fruits and vegetables, and my reading of the Thrive Diet, I was inspired to go raw. I did really well and actually didn't want to eat cookies and junk. I would look at a brownie, and instead of seeing yumminess I only saw a processed fat brick of sugar. Unfortunately I started having gastro-intestinal problems, and I had to go to a specialist. I was convinced I had a parasite. (Don't even bother asking why I thought that.) Anyway, I think all the problems were actually the result of red bell peppers. I was adding them to my daily salads, probably eating one whole pepper a day. As soon as I eliminated them from my diet and upped my probiotic intake, my symptoms vanished. Sadly, I love red bell peppers. It's a lame allergy to have, since they're in everything that seems healthy and yummy. They're in a lot of veggie burgers and mixed vegetable entrees. Since I wasn't sure what was causing it, I also went back to my regular diet and went back to drooling over brownies and cookies.

Last week, in a reverse of last year, I decided to go mostly raw again because of my stomach issues. I've been eating low acid foods for awhile now, and really paying attention to alkalizing and non-alkalizing foods. (Info here, hopefully this link works.) I have been eating more fruits and vegetables and I was finally like, hey I might as well go rawish again. I experienced the good benefits of a raw diet last year too, so it wasn't a complete loss. My skin indeed cleared up, just like they claim. I experienced those weird euphoric bouts of energy. Actually those crazy euphoric states made me realize how healthy eating raw is. If I eat a baked good, I feel the sugar rush, but it's more like my brain going haywire followed by a subsequent crash and feeling like crap. When I ate mostly raw I'd have these surges of energy out of nowhere that would last about 20 minutes and I would feel great. I'd say a sugar rush is a cloudy buzz, my mind doesn't exactly think well and I can hardly focus. During the raw food buzzes I would just feel happy and full of energy. It was weird, and I'm still skeptical of the whole thing, but I can't deny they happened a couple of times.

So what have I been eating? When I wake up I drink 2 - 3 pint glasses of water. I'm always dehydrated in the morning. Then I have my usual smoothie. I make it with either unsweetened soy milk or almond milk with Wyman's Frozen Blueberries, banana, fresh strawberries, Nutribiotic Brown Rice Protein and Acai juice. Lately I've been adding some romaine leaves, since my lettuce finally matured! Aw. Sometimes if I really want to treat myself, I open a can of coconut milk and pour some in. Oh man, it adds fat (good fat) but it is so delicious! To the left is actually a picture of a berry juice concoction. Water or coconut water instead of soy/almond milk. I also added frozen pineapple.

Sometimes I make a green smoothie/juice. Surprisingly I don't find these as enjoyable as the fruit ones. I picked up some kale at the Farmer's Market this weekend. This juice is kale, apple, banana and frozen pineapple. I'll admit it, I totally held my nose when I drank it. But I feel great after drinking it and have lots of energy. (Even though I just decided to skip spin class and continue writing this. Whoops.) I realized now that I probably would have enjoyed it more if I added some agave nectar. Sometimes sweet fruits alone aren't enough for the overpowering green taste. Adding a kale leaf to a fruit smoothie is great because you can't usually taste it.

For lunch I eat a giant salad. I pre-pack a tupperware container with mixed baby greens, walnuts and craisins. I usually bring an apple and strawberries to cut up before I eat my salad. Sometimes I add an avocado, again it adds fat, but it's healthy fat. I can't eat avocados every day like some raw foodists, they make me feel so heavy. Every now and then they are a great treat. My coworkers usually stop into the kitchen if they walk by and see me preparing my lunch. I bought cheap cutting boards from Ikea for work, and the kitchen has a few knives. Every time someone sees my salad they ooh and ahh over it. It's a salad! It's easy! Do it up!

This weekend I discovered the awesomeness of zucchini "pasta". I've seen so many raw recipes for vegetable pasta, and I was always curious to see how it tasted. I finally stopped wondering and did it. Simply peel a zucchini, and then once all the skin is off, continue to peel the zucchini into a bowl. Voila, you have zucchini pasta. For this one I added warmed portobello mushrooms. I fill a skillet with enough water to cover the bottom of the pan and add sliced mushrooms. I put the temp on low and add ground pepper and salt, sometimes onion and garlic powder too. This pasta also includes basil and parsley and green beans from my garden! And canned tomato, I hate dealing with tomatoes, so I keep canned unsalted diced tomatoes around.

Yesterday I made pesto from ridiculously aromatic basil from the farmer's market. I made enough for my roommate and I and it was fantastic. He said his mind was blown and he couldn't get over the fact that we were eating zucchini. Try it! You feel less bloated after eating it than pasta, and it's a lot less calories. We decided since pesto is so fattening, the only "healthy" way to eat it was with zucchini pasta.

Portobello roll-ups. I took romaine and basil from my garden, then warmed up some portobello and added a bit of rosemary. These were delicious. Great as an appetizer, or a light meal. If you don't dig wrapping up things with just lettuce, I really love Joseph's Lavash Bread. They're low calorie, soft and delicious. I've been using them to make cucumber wraps too. For those I spread a tablespoon of hummus onto a piece of lavash bread (half of a whole rectangle of lavash bread is one serving), add greens, thinly sliced cucumber, a slice of cheddar cheese and some salt and pepper. I have been eating the cucumber wraps as a break from a daily salad. The cheese isn't that healthy or raw, but it's delicious so whatever.

You know what else is delicious but isn't that healthy or raw? Strawberry shortcake. Hells yea! My roommate baked shortcake and whipped up cream he bought at the farmer's market. For the shortcakes he used strawberry yogurt, and I have to say they came out amazingly well. Like I said, I'm going mostly raw, or rawish. I've been trying to eat at least two raw meals a day and only adding non-raw elements. As long as my meal contains some sort of fruit or vegetable I'm happy.

I've stumbled upon a great blog called Choosing Raw. I love Gena's take on eating raw. She has a great relaxed and realistic approach to eating raw. It's hard to find a raw blog author out there that isn't a bit stuck up when it comes to not eating completely raw. Gena has an encouraging voice and great advice. It's the first raw blog I really enjoy and I've been reading her older entries too. She seems as fascinated as I am by nutrition, and is open to new findings and claims. I love that she's not about following one "raw guru's" advice completely without question. She wants people to find their own path to healthy eating, and I'm all for that too!

Since last year I've found a lot more raw focused sites and blogs out there. It's kind of exploded, and it's great! I'm definitely excited to learn more recipes and read more discussions about raw food, as I find it pretty fascinating. Again, sometimes I think I should have been a nutritionist. I was giving people in my triathlete group some snack ideas the other day. They were really interested in my thoughts on finding natural alternatives to satiate cravings. I was pretty excited by this and was happy to finally be able to give some advice instead of being the newbie always asking for help!

Ohhh. Here's an image if you dare. Friends have been asking me how bad my blisters really were. CLICK HERE but I'm warning you it's pretty gross! (Oh and kind of blurry.)

PS - Hey lurking friends, leave a comment! A lot of people tell me they read my blog but they never comment! You don't have to comment every time, but feel free to leave some love every now and then. It's nice to know I'm not talking to myself on the internets.

Catch Up and Triathlon Training Horrors

2009-06-13T08:39:00.008-04:00

I have been remiss in my postings. So much has happened since my last post. Last week was a surprisingly good training week. I went into it not expecting much since the week before I hadn't done ANY biking. The rain has been practically daily, and well, I don't know what is going on. I look at my bike and I just DON'T want to ride it. I don't want to go anywhere. Maybe I'm just bored of the same local routes, maybe I'm still subconsciously defeated after the Bloomin' Fail. I have no idea. So I bought a trainer and have been going to spin classes.

Sure spin class isn't exactly an indoor training session, but it makes me push myself really hard. Last Tuesday was my first spin class in ages and by the end I was sweating so hard, my sweat was hitting the pedals and spraying me in the face. It was awesome! I felt so invigorated, all the negativity I've had about training washed away and onto the floor. Afterward I stretched for a long time in the sauna.

Wednesday brought an amazing swim class. The coach wasn't really prepared, usually they have a swim workout planned ahead of time. She grabbed post-its she had her favorite swim workouts on and we decided on one. All in all it was 2400 yards. I can't even remember it now, but I believe the main set was 50 yards x 24. 25y moderate, 25y fast. The girls in my lane and I were going insane by the 15th set. 24 of the same thing is insane, but we pushed ourselves and I didn't give up. My arms were killing me by the cooldown but I wanted to complete the workout.

Thursday was another awesome spin class, and Friday I had a camera put down my throat. It's official, I have gastritis. The experience sounds awful but it was quite nice. The worst part was not eating until after the procedure, which was around 2pm or so. My parents came all the way down from Massachusetts to drive me there, and we got there early. Like, an hour early. But it was great because they were able to do the procedure basically right when I got there. I was put under with a different chemical than usual, so I even had no side effects! I drifted to a peaceful sleep, and when I woke up, it was over and I was upset! I wanted to be asleep longer, I didn't want to wake up just yet! When I got home, my indoor trainer had arrived, and as soon as I opened the box, the sun came out. Typical.

Saturday I had great kickboxing and kettlebell classes. Then, for some god awful reason, (Because studies show running barefoot is actually better for you) I decided to run barefoot, for a mile. I thought this was starting out easy. I was all psyched up for a 6 mile run, I figured I'd do the first mile barefoot on the track by my house, and then the rest in shoes in the neighborhood. That was a ridiculous plan. RIDICULOUS. But at the time I had no idea. After the second lap I felt my feet burning, this seemed normal because, well I'm running barefoot on a rubber track for the first time. So I pushed myself, and ran the entire mile in 8:30ish. Sweet, right? Uh then I put my shoes on, and it felt like I was walking on gel packets. It was SICK! So disgusting and I was like, oh God I'm screwed.

I ran into my friends who were on their porch as I hobbled up. I told them what I just did and they looked at me like I was insane. "Wanna see?" I asked. "NO!" said one friend. "YES!" said the other. I slowly took off my shoe and peeled off a slightly bloody sock to reveal the most disgusting blisters I've ever seen. The pad of my foot was bubbled up, like filled with a massive amount of lymph. They screeched in horror and I laughed. I laughed probably because I had A. Just run a mile, and B. My adrenaline was kicking in due to the pain. I hobbled back to my apartment and that's when the pain REALLY set in. I called a fellow Trifitness member who I know runs barefoot. I had completely forgotten my tri group's triathlon was Saturday. I'm a great member aren't I? Anyway, he told me about the race as I whimpered, searched Google for answers and then I asked what the HELL do I do?! He had no clue because apparently he's never had blisters before. My voice cracked and I got off the phone, and then I just bawled.

I sat there in my apartment, alone, blubbering for a good 5 minutes. I was screwed, and I did it to myself. I had sidelined myself right when I was feeling on top of my game. Idiot. Moron. Imbecile. All the names I had for myself ran through my head. I called my friend Dan. I told him what happened to get it out. I got off the phone and attempted to deal with my wounds. I could hardly walk, I used whatever I could, braced myself on counters and walls. This wasn't going to work. I texted Dan a plea to come over and buy stuff for my feet. Meanwhile I searched the internet, to lance or not to lance? What do I do? Dan wrapped me up but after an hour or so I was like, we need to lance these things. We fired up a needle, and sat on my couch. It was something out of a movie, pretty hysterical I'm sure from someone else's perspective. We're on the couch, hunched over my feet, I'm whining, whimpering and yelling while lymph squirts out of my blisters. One squirted me for 30 seconds, all over my shirt. SICK! But I was relieved to get the crap out of my feet.

The difference was major, and if you ever find yourself in the same position, LANCE IT. Stab it! Get it out! Just be careful, sterilize, and do it! (Just know you are risking the chance of infection, and I'm currently paranoid I'm still not in the clear for that.) I was walking again, albeit hobbling. By Monday I was already running again, though in shoes this time, and on the treadmill. I don't think I'll be doing any good distance this week until all the pain has subsided and the skin that's post-bubble flattens out completely.

Green Saturday

2009-06-07T08:15:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I spent most of the day outside playing with my "garden". The new fence STILL isn't up! I texted my landlord. He said the guy he chose to do it backed out because he found a bigger project or something. So he's going to get ANOTHER estimate and then ANOTHER date. We shall see.

When my landlord had the new rock wall put in, he had to move my pansies, Thai basil, and lettuce into this giant pot. I was pissed until everything magically sprung up triple size.

The goings on of yesterdays projects.

Planted my roommate's tomato seedling he got from the farmer's market. It has grown so much in a month! I put layers of compost with the soil. Not too much compost, because it was straight out of the container we keep in the kitchen. It has its first blossom!

The planted tomato seedling and my babies! I think they are "retarded" or something. I think that's the actual term to use here. They were planted on Earth Day in April and they're still teeny tiny! So we decided to have them out in full sun during this glorious weekend.

Impatient, with some plants that needed planting, I bought yet another flower box. Ugh. Here's parsley and basil my friend Chelsea gave to me because she realized it was cheaper to buy the plants at the grocery store, than buy the prepackaged herbs. BUT she lives in Denver so she had to get rid of them before she flew back. The vibrant basil plant is the seedling I bought at the farmer's market. It has grown into a beautiful plant! Also one of my bean plants I grew from seed.

So my roommate gave me a lot of shit about BUYING a flower box when we could just make one out of the falling down fence that is going to be replaced. He stole a few boards and decided he was going to make one. This took entirely too long, the wood was entirely too rotten, and in the end didn't think my purchase was that bad of an idea after all.

The end result. I had to line it with plastic bags so that the dirt didn't just cover my balcony in mud whenever I watered it. It's a charming addition to the balcony nonetheless. More bean plants I grew from seed.

Finally, my cilantro went "ape shit". I think that's the technical term for growing 3 feet in a week, right? I mowed that stuff down a couple weeks ago and it sprung up faster than zombies at a brain feast.

All in all it was a great day. Our other project was making something to hold compost. I bought a 25 gallon trash barrel, and my roommate used a blade to cut out air holes around it. We wanted to use a drill, but his battery died. Anyway, now we have compost! Finally a place to put pulled out weeds, dead leaves and general organic debris. I'm entirely too excited about it. After we finished up, I went for a 4 mile run. I was so happy I did it in exactly 32 minutes. 8 min pace, not too shabby! Especially since I haven't been running outside very much, the weather's been awful. This weekend is awesome and much needed.

Now I'm off to get ready and go to the Rev3 Triathlon in Middlebury, CT. I wanted to get there for the start but I was up way too late last night. Oh well, I figure it's a huge race, with a lot of pros, less than an hour away. Sure I'll mostly see what's going on on the screens they have set up but I want to go and see what it's all about. Good luck to Carol who's out there now! Her blog is the Triathlon Training Blog!

Muay Thai, Excite!

2009-06-06T07:16:00.007-04:00

Every few months or so I search for Muay Thai gyms in Southern Connecticut and come up with nothing. I was recently talking to a co-worker about my old gym when I casually searched "Fairfield Muay Thai" in Google. Much to my amazement, 'The Center Martial Arts' popped up. (I don't know why it's not "The Center for..." or maybe include a hyphen, but that's their name.) When I looked at the website alone I was excited. A few days later I went in to watch a Muay Thai class. The trainer, Hitalo Machado still currently fights MMA. I can't tell you how much this excites me. Finally someone who is up on his game because he has to be. Oh and he has some serious reach. Look at all that blood and spit! I get giddy just looking at it. Not in a blood lust kind of way. I'm just really excited to have a trainer who can kick so much ass!

While I watched the Muay Thai class I quickly noticed a sign that this is Muay Thai, not "American Kickboxing". Calves. From the clinching and kneeing you form some serious calves you don't get from traditional kickboxing. Hitalo and the guys who obviously train a lot all had Muay Thai calves. As I watched the class further I got even more excited, this was familar, this is where I need to train. I talked with one of the owners, Sensei Paulina for quite some time. When she told me she is Thai, I said "Sawatdee Kaa" (Hello) and she was very excited by this and said "Sawatdee Kaa" back. I told her I definitely want to take the time to train in Thailand someday. Then I met a girl who has a fight planned either this month, or next I can't remember. I never thought I'd ever meet a girl who actually fights Muay Thai. It will be her first fight, and I was really happy to hear that The Center set up the fight and is very supportive of female fighters. Makes a lot of sense considering the two owners are female. How rare is that? Well I've certainly never heard of ANY martial arts gym owned by a female.

I talked to the girl for a bit, and she is really nice. She is finishing up her doctorate AND training almost every day. She said she was looking forward to finally having a girl to spar with. I am excited too, but nervous since I'm rusty and she's a bit bigger than me. I WILL get my ass kicked by her, there is no doubt of this. But that's okay, I really need my ass kicked to get back into the game. The Center fully sponsors their fighters, which is awesome. They are even thinking of sending her to Master Toddy. Basically he is THE person in the US to send a fighter too, especially if your fighter happens to be a woman. He's VERY open to training female fighters, and was on a show (I have to admit I watched every episode of on Hulu) called "Fight Girls". (Oh it sounds so lame and kind of was, but they were fighting Muay Thai! I couldn't NOT watch.) "Fight Girls" also featured my fav Muay Thai crush, Gina Carano. (pictured)

Last Saturday I tried out my first class, Advanced Muay Thai. I did pretty well considering I haven't clinched in well over a year. The kid I was practicing with is as scrawny as me, and I think about 15! It was really hard to get back into the habit of watching a trainer, following what he's saying and then practicing the sequence while at the same time remembering my form. Hitalo noticed right away my "wave" as he calls it. In traditional Muay Thai you drop the opposite arm of the one you are kicking for balance. He said that my "wave" needs to go. Then he asked me where I trained. "Plus One in Hartford" "Ah Peter... yeah I used to train with him." Small world! He said he wasn't as traditional as Kru Peter (btw, this makes me sad) but their styles are very similar. We didn't spar during the class, but that's probably for the best. Last time I sparred it was an embarrassment. I have to finish up my contract with Aiki, which ends this month. So hopefully I will be starting at The Center next month. I already ordered new Muay Thai gloves, heavier ones that will be better for sparring and their heavy bags. Now I need to get new shin guards, mine are WAY too thin.

PS- Oh man after some googling, turns out Hitalo is 3 years younger than me! God, when did I get OLD?! Well whatever, a lot of women fighters are older than 25, so I got some time.

Friday Decompression

2009-05-29T21:47:00.003-04:00

Lately I've been beginning my weekends by going to the gym after work. I go to the pool, swim 1000 yards, 2000 if I have it in me. It's so nice to swim at the gym, it's nowhere near as hectic as swim class. I'm able to clear my head and focus on my stroke. There's no one behind me or in front of me. It's my own pace and I don't force myself. I count my laps by repeating the number over and over. 3...3... elbows up... 3... 3... bring in those legs... 4... 4... and so on. It's meditative. Work is miles away, and I am completely present.

After my swim I hit the whirlpool if it's not disgusting. Then I rinse and go into the sauna and sweat it out for awhile. I stretch, I focus on what I want out of my training, I visualize my goals, and I stretch some more. I imagine toxins washing out of me, sweating them out. I read, which after awhile is the only way I can keep myself occupied to stay in long enough that I'm pouring out sweat. Then I shower again, and take my time getting ready and leaving.

It feels like a trip to the spa. It's awakening and calming at the same time. I leave in a good mood, and I smile for hours. My Friday solo swim sessions make me enjoy swimming. It doesn't feel like a "workout", but I think it's really beneficial. Sometimes it's better to go slow and focus on what your body is doing than push yourself just to say you logged those miles or cut down some seconds. It's so easy to get caught up in improving, when at the end of the day, the point is to be healthy and have fun.

A Rambling Recap of this Week

2009-05-24T07:58:00.006-04:00

So after last week's crappy Bloomin' Fail I thought it'd be smart to make this an easy week. Luckily it's a rest week according to my triathlon group's calendar as well. My legs are completely worn out. I'm having pain in my left tibia, just below the knee. Also every now and then I'll have knee pain that will cause me to limp on my right leg. Most recently I'm having pain on the top of my right foot, just before the ankle begins. All these pains come and go, so I'm not sure what to do!

I've been using the elliptical this week in hopes that it will give me the cardio I need while being low impact, thus saving my legs from more damage. I really need to buy a foam roller. I keep putting it off because they are usually way too expensive for what they are. It's a giant round piece of foam, don't charge me more than $10! I also keep saying I'm finally going to use the massage gift certificate I got for my birthday, LAST YEAR. Whoops. I need to start going more often than every other year!

Last week I left my favorite Speedo swimsuit, my goggles and my favorite swim cap at the Weston pool after swim class. Last time I did that I found everything in their lost and found area. Not so this time around. Lame! Well the Speedo suit was chaffing me badly under my right arm, so even though I loved the grey camo print on the sides, I guess it's for the best. My TYR suit is baggy as all hell. Not sure if it's weight loss or just worn out, it's about a year old. I went to Sports Authority and suits were 25% off. I got a Nike two piece, and even though I feel like a bit of a gym ho, it's so comfortable! The only issue is there's a lot of drag happening up top since I'm endowed like a pre-teen upstairs.

My old goggles were the cheapest ones on the rack last year. TYR's for $12. They gave me so many problems that I decided to pay the extra $4 for Speedo Women's Vanquisher Goggles. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! No leaks, no fog, more comfort! I still get a lot of redness and lines under my eyes, but it's nowhere near as bad as the old TYR's. I'm so pleased with this purchase! Also at Sports Authority I finally picked up a pull buoy. Last week I also got my Speedo Contoured Swim Paddles and I'm really happy with them too. The small fits great, even though my hands are pre-teen size as well. The only swim purchase left for me is a good pair of fins. Anyone out there have any recommendations?

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and spent double my usual amount. One reason is that I think I didn't go to the store last week. Another reason is I'm trying to avoid sugar as much as possible! I decided to buy more fruits and healthy snacks to keep me away from the cookies and candy available at work. Friday I was the only designer working, and they also decided to unleash a massive excel document full of website changes. I was busy throughout the day, and a co-worker decided to make things worse by telling me about changes from said excel doc like THEY found them! WTF. I almost exploded, but instead ate almost an entire package of Strawberry Mentos. After the Mentos, I decided the fresh maker is a tummy breaker. It was also the first Friday for icecream! (Yeah, um, my company has an icecream truck come every Friday of the summer and we get free icecream.) Did I get the Fruit Bar? No. Vanilla with sprinkles like an idiot. I was a moody, crashing, sugar-craving monster the rest of the day. My stomach hates me, and I don't think my gastritis is getting any better.

Friday's mess made me decide that I have to reevaluate my diet once again. I can't figure out what is going on with my stomach, but I think I really have to depend more on fresh fruits and veggies. I did splurge however and bought Tofurkey Oven Roasted Deli Slices. I usually stay away from processed fake meats, but this was an excellent purchase! The package says a serving size is 5 slices, I only used 3 for a sandwich. I had the deli slices, a slice of cheddar cheese, baby greens on an Arnold Whole Wheat sandwich thin, with hummus spread. Wow. I was floored, my first awesome vegetarian sandwich since January at 'sNice in NYC. I've tried other vegetarian deli slices before, but this is by far my favorite. I wouldn't make it a regular purchase, since they're expensive and processed, but when I really need to fulfill that sandwich fix I will definitely buy this again.

So that's this week in a nutshell. In other news I'm finally reading 'The China Study'. So far it's really interesting and really spurring my weird desire to study nutrition and be a nutritionist. I'm reading it quite critically and I'm not sure about some of his claims. Some of his claims are quite bold, and it's going to take more than one man's book to change my mind. Still I agree with a lot of his views, so if anything it's a great book for challenging my views on nutrition. Expect a full review when I'm done reading!

DNF - Bloomin' Metric

2009-05-18T06:47:00.004-04:00

I didn't finish the Bloomin' Metric. I didn't even come close. 30 miles in I gave up.

I woke up early, got all my gear together and sped down to Norwalk going 90 most of the way. I should have left 10 minutes earlier than I did. In the car I realized my legs were tight, they felt like knotted roots, but I was hoping after the first few miles they'd loosen up. (Spoiler Alert: They didn't.) So I get to my friend's place, wait for her other friend who was riding, and we left for the ride. It was cold, windy and cloudy, I referred to it as the Gloomin' Metric. We get our wrist bands, T-Shirts and head out.

At first I was keeping up with them, but slowly I dropped back. I wasn't worried I knew my legs were shot and I needed some time to warm up. I'd get closer to them but never up with them. Eventually I lost sight of them. I rode on my own, in a head full of negativity. "This is ridiculous, you're not going to finish." "You're going to have to find the sag wagon, you're beat up." Yeah those were my thoughts on probably the 5th mile! I was dealing with some heavy mental and physical barriers. I didn't want to do it at all.

I finally met back up with them at the first food stop. I ate a PB&J, a banana and an oatmeal raisin cookie. They looked at me and could tell I was beat. "I think I'm over trained," I said. They asked what I did this week. "I swam 4,000 yards, ran a total of 13 miles, uhh kickboxing, kettlebells, oh a computrainer class... uhhh yeaaah I think I'm over trained." They looked at me like I was insane and agreed I was indeed pushing my limits. We stretched and I was of course ridiculously tight. Back on the bikes, I again kept up with them but the course just went up, up and up. The hills on the Bloomin' Metric are what I'd refer to later as a "non-stop vertical assault". My glutes were killing me! I would pass people on the hills, but once we got to straight and flat areas people were going past me. I tried to follow people's cadences but my legs would not listen to me. It's like they didn't even belong to me. I'd push and they'd say, "No I'm going to do this cadence with this amount of effort and you can fuck off."

At the "Indesicion Split" where you can choose the 100K path or the 75K I said goodbye to my friend. No way was I doing 100K, and I think when I admitted that I had kind of given up a lot more. I rode alone, no chance of catching up with them. My head was now full of negative thoughts. I pushed on. I tried to be positive but I felt like I was completely lying to myself. I passed the food stop again, as it was on a loop, and stopped there again to figure out how far I had gone. I got back on and passed an intersection with a traffic cop and the sag wagon. The truck looked so good to me but I went on. Then I realized I was going to have to follow the same road I had just went on an hour before. I was going to have to do it all over again and I said fuck it. I could barely do it the first time, I'm a glutton for punishment but even I have my limits.

I rode back to where the sag wagon was, trying to figure out if I indeed had to ride up that way again (I only had a 100K map on me). I got one pedal free and then somehow just fell right in front of the cop directing traffic. The looked down at me and said I was done. "Yeah, I'm toast. I can't do it." Luckily the sag wagon guy was pretty awesome and we "bonded" during the ride. As we were driving the course I kept asking, "This is it? This is what I'd have to be riding?" and he'd say yes, and every time my mind was blown. There was just no way. I literally felt like there was no strength whatsoever inside me.

So that's that. I guess I feel a mix of resignation, disappointment and well, that I did the right thing. I learned I have to listen to my body and sometimes it's just better to let that registration money go to the cause and take the day off. I knew I was pushing it, and I knew my body was exhausted but I thought I could just push through it. The day before, I was telling people if I hadn't registered I wouldn't even go. I guess I can be happy that even over trained and exhausted I pushed through 30 hilly miles. I also learned not to sign up for a long event like that less than a week before it. I was not ready, and I was not trained for that event. I was acting like it was just a long training ride. I need to build up to that kind of mileage before I go for broke and do it. I think the furthest I've gone on the bike is 40, and a flat 40 at that. Adding 20 hilly miles to that was a huge stretch. So today is a rest day, I'm eating my humble pie and taking it easy.

What I Eat

2009-05-12T19:41:00.013-04:00

I've been meaning to write about my diet for some time now. I think it's a very important part of my training and lifestyle. With thousands of different diets out there with their sponsors, books, commercials, claims, websites and general media nonsense it's hard to focus on what's right for you. I have no idea what's right for you. I'm still trying to figure out what's right for me. I have developed over the past couple of years a pretty balanced diet that's been easy to follow. I have no real strict regimen, and I make changes to it as I see fit. The most influential book I've read that has shaped my attitude towards nutrition is Brendan Brazier's 'The Thrive Diet'. Brazier is a vegan triathlete who eats a mostly raw diet. I found out about Brazier through reading about my favorite UFC fighter Mac Danzig. Mac is also a vegan athlete, he puts to rest the stereotype that vegans are scrawny! (Not to mention he is the most intelligent and articulate UFC fighter!)

Speaking of scrawny... Self-indulgent gun show warning.

Proof you can be strong and not eat meat.

Although my diet isn't vegan, I find their diets to be a thoughtful, well-balanced approach. (A general overview of Mac Danzig's diet can be found here. Scroll down a ways to "6. UFC Fighter Mac Danzig's Vegan Diet". Sorry there's no better way to link to it.) Technically I am not a vegetarian. I'm an ovo-lacto-pescatarian. That's too much to say most of the time so I stick to "vegetarian". I eat eggs sometimes, but after a trip to Vietnam and reading 'Vegan with a Vengeance', I don't care for them as much as I used to. More often, I end up eating products that contain eggs.

I drink milk rarely, again I usually eat products that contain milk. I need yogurt and cottage cheese in my diet because of the live cultures they contain. I've found live cultures help my stomach issues, as well as my allergies and immune system. There are dairy alternatives with live cultures in them, but I find most soy products to be heavily processed. I feel it's a lot more natural to just stick to the real thing. I try to avoid cheese most of the time, and sometimes go weeks without eating it. Fish is another rarity in my diet. Because my motivation for going vegetarian was health, I see fish as a very healthy food option. Yes, there are issues with fish and mercury, but for the most part fish is a very good source of protein and omega-3 fatty acids.

A majority of my diet is plant based. Here's a sample of what I eat on a typical day:

Breakfast: Smoothie made with Unsweetened Soy Milk, Banana, Optimum Nutrition 100% Gold Standard Natural Whey Protein Chocolate, Chocolate Brown Rice Protein
Post-Workout: Fluid Recovery Drink
Mid-Morning: Oatmeal/ Post-Workout Chocolate Whey Protein mixed with water
Lunch: Brown Rice with Frozen Vegetables and Black Beans with seasoning
Mid-Afternoon: 2 Whole Wheat Fig Newtons or Chobani Yogurt with Fruit
Dinner: Salad of mixed baby greens with craisins, walnuts, apple and a little bit of dressing. Almond Butter and Jelly on an Arnold Whole Wheat Sandwich Thin

Basically I choose simple, nutritious foods. I find foods I like and stick with them. I'm definitely not a perfect eater by any means. My work barrages me with a constant onslaught of poor food options. People will randomly make cookies and brownies or buy Munchkins. I have a sugar addiction and it's so hard to say no! Once I eat a confectionery treat my body goes haywire. It wants more! I can't just eat a little piece and be satisfied. I sit there and think about eating more until I eventually do. They say sugar sends off dopamine, and thus it's like a drug. Also, vigorous studies and research on my own part show that sugar is also freaking DELICIOUS. Fortunately/unfortunately my stomach issues have made another excuse for me to pass on treats.

Some sources of monthly inspiration for me are Shape and Fitness Magazine. Growing up in rural Massachusetts, with limited female friends and with no clue about makeup or how girls be girly, I decided to get with the program and subscribe to YM and Teen Magazine. In general I hate those magazines, but the actual beauty and fashion advice were extremely helpful. I had no clue how to do my makeup or even what concealer was until I got those magazines. Same thing with fitness, I started out not having a clue. Shape and Fitness give me exercise and diet ideas that help get me out of ruts. Every now and then when I'm in an especially bored food rut I'll buy Vegetarian Times.

Here are some other sites I've found helpful:
World's Healthiest Foods - Lists every beneficial whole food, and then breaks them down into extensive articles. They include the food's benefits, history and preparation tips. Great way to find out about new foods and how the heck you use them.

Active.com - Nutrition - Basically Active.com is like the Associated Press of fitness and nutrition articles. Their articles can usually be found in various magazines like Prevention and Women's Health.

I also check out magazine sites online. Shape, Fitness, Women's Health and many more have a lot of stuff up on their sites. Check them out!

Clipless Pedals, or Me vs Gravity

2009-05-12T18:36:00.011-04:00

Saturday after hard kettlebell and kickboxing classes, I decided it was finally time I get it together and buy bike cleats. I headed over to Zane's Cycles in Branford, CT. It's a pretty big store, and I prefer the intimate setting at Devil's Gear but Zane's apparel and gear selection is much bigger. I picked one shoe in the women's section that was tolerable, but the sales guy said Look pedals wouldn't fit it. He came out with a shoe that was black and silver but the Specialized logo was powder blue. UGH! Why do womens specific bikes and gear have to have pastels and flowers?! I can't stand it. I want to be taken seriously, not "seriously for a woman". I could go on a rant here about running skirts and such, but I'll save it for a later time.

Anywho, I ended up getting black, red and silver MENS cleats that match my bike perfectly. When I got home I immediately went to work on my bike. Getting the platform pedals off was frustrating, but getting the Look pedals on was really easy. I headed off for a test drive around the neighborhood. I didn't seem to struggle and didn't fall! I thought I was ready for a real ride. I got on some biking clothes and headed out. Of course my first fall was at the end of my street.

I got to my first full intersection stop, and tried to twist out of the pedal. I ended up falling directly behind an SUV. I was laughing, but at the same time hoped she didn't over shoot the intersection and decide to back up, cause my head was right behind her tire. When I got up and got onto the sidewalk, I looked at the driver. She hadn't even noticed my fall, she was busy talking on her cellphone. Yikes. So on I went to do the usual canal ride. It was a great day, perfect for biking. I realized right away the difference the pedals made. It's much easier to reach a higher, constant speed. Hills are a bit easier since I can concentrate on my power rather than keeping my feet on the pedals. Once I got on the canal I practiced getting out of my pedals for all the intersections without a problem. Of course, there were never any cars coming and no reason for me to panic.

My second fall came at the end of the ride. I was approaching a busier intersection, and the cross street was a very steep hill. I thought I was going slow enough, but again couldn't get out of my pedals. I kind of panicked and started to go left up the hill while trying to get out of my pedals at the same time. Kersplat! I fell, harder this time. I have a nice scrape on my forearm, right where my skull tattoo's wings meet. My tattoo has been stenciled on my last few band-aids. It hurts like a bitch even though it looks like a sissy scrape. An old man on a bike came over to me when I fell and I sheepishly laughed and said, "First day on the pedals." He had no idea what I was talking about so I showed him my shoe. "I've never seen anything like that before." "Oh well... uhh I'm okay!" and I rode off. I felt like such an idiot. I know everyone falls their first few times, but I felt like I was 7 all over again falling on my bike and having a stranger help me up.

I hope I get used to the pedals really quick. I signed up for the "Bloomin' Metric" today, which is a 100k ride through Fairfield County on Sunday. Baptism by fire has always been my method. Luckily I'm riding with my friend Deborah who is probably one of the sweetest girls I know. I won't feel stupid falling in front of her, she's new to the biking madness as well. Wish me luck. I'm definitely heading back to Zane's Saturday for some THICKER SHORTS. Hopefully I can get the shorter stem for my handlebars installed by Saturday too. Otherwise my shoulders are going to KILL on Monday!

Stomach Woes

2009-05-08T21:39:00.007-04:00

After last Thursday's booze fest I developed a raw, gnawing pain in my stomach. I thought it was just my body's normal reaction to too much alcohol. I constantly felt uncomfortable, and didn't know whether to eat or to fast. I couldn't work out, hence the "Lazy Slob" post. After 4 days went by with no improvement I decided to take it seriously. My symptoms were a lot like those of an ulcer. After work on Monday I went to the pharmacy and got licorice, Pepto Bismol and on a coworker's suggestion, Prilosec. Licorice is supposed to work wonders for an ailing stomach. (By the way there are a lot of interesting articles on the healing properties of licorice if you're interested: Life-Enhancement.com and University of Maryland Medical Center)

Monday night I decided to go to yoga, hoping I just needed some stress relief and a gentle workout to make me feel better. It worked until I laid down for bed, my stomach pain flared up and I was curled in a ball whimpering. Most of Wednesday I felt a lot better, and even had my first decent workout in awhile. I was planning on going to swimming, but when I left work my stomach had other plans. I became so nauseous and dizzy, the pain left me whimpering yet again. Thursday I took a half day at work so that I could go to the doctors. I told her about my situation and she said she thinks I have gastritis.

Gastritis: Gastritis is a term used to describe a group of conditions with one thing in common: inflammation of the lining of your stomach. The inflammation of gastritis is often the result of infection with the same bacterium that causes most stomach ulcers. However, other factors — such as traumatic injury, regular use of certain pain relievers or drinking too much alcohol — also can contribute to gastritis.

Gastritis may occur suddenly (acute gastritis) or it can occur slowly over time (chronic gastritis). In some cases, gastritis can lead to ulcers and an increased risk of stomach cancer. For most people, however, gastritis isn't serious and improves quickly with treatment. (MayoClinic.com)

Notice the "drinking too much alcohol" part of the definition. Yeah. So my doctor thinks I'm an alcoholic. I tried telling her I only drink too much once every couple of months but I think she didn't believe me. She even had the audacity to suggest AA. First of all, I don't drink every day, or even every week! On average I have 4 drinks over a month's time! The average person drinks more than I do. So she's either insane or thinks I'm lying, which I'm not. It hurt to have her suggest AA or therapy. Yes I have a problem sometimes stopping myself from going overboard, but honestly I don't drink when I'm depressed. Usually I'm in good spirits, in a "life's too short to worry!" kind of mood.

Yes, I used to drink a lot. And yes, I do have a problem on my hands if I don't control it. With my family history, I've been aware I'm on thin ice when it comes to alcohol. I've done an awesome job of controlling it these past two years and have come a long way. I can't believe one night has led to a flare up this bad. It has to be something else. It has to be stress or something. The other trigger is caffeine, which I pretty much abstain from. Every so often, like once a week, I'll treat myself to a chai soy latte. Yeah. I'm a rebel. When I researched what my diet should consist of to help recover, I found that my regular diet is the "poster diet" for people with gastritis. Rice, beans, vegetables, non-fat cottage cheese and yogurt, fruit, whole grains and plenty of water. That's what I eat, EVERYDAY!

Things I have to avoid for a month or so: alcohol, caffeine, spicy foods, fried foods, pastries and junk food in general. So basically this gastritis is putting me on my best behavior. I'm trying to look at it as a good thing. Now instead of giving into my cravings for fries, chips and cookies, I can look at them and know it could hurt my stomach. I'm reevaluating my diet once again and trying to eliminate more junk and unnecessary fats. Once again I'm leaning towards a very lean diet with only yogurt and cottage cheese for animal products. I have a sensitive everything – mind, body and heart. The older I get the more precautions and care I take of myself to prevent illness and imbalance. I will probably be going back to yoga to help with dealing with stress and to get back in tune with my body. I plan on posting more about my diet and how I'm dealing with this minor set back in the near future.

Lazy Slob Returns

2009-05-03T08:47:00.005-04:00

Every few months or so, the old lazy me comes back to visit. I guess the medical term is depression, but that's depressing. So I'm sticking with "lazy slob". I don't care about doing laundry, or the state of my room, eating healthy or even working out. I don't care about hanging out with friends or talking to them. It's when I slack on replying to texts or emails. I don't care. I don't even think that much. I just exist, and not much else. I was inundated with changes and nonsense at work this week. The end of the month always sees an influx of changes to be made for the next month's promotions. Maybe this brought it on? Not sure.

It's probably a whole host of things, all too personal to really go into in depth here. They say broken hearts heal with time, and it's true. But every now and again something will come up to make me realize that what I had was something really hard to find. So Thursday, instead of going to my computrainer class, worn down from craziness at work, I caved and went to happy hour. I really only wanted one 20oz bottle of Asahi Super Dry. The bartender was kind of an idiot, and placed another bottle after I had finished the first in front of me, literally when my head was turned. She didn't ask me if I wanted another, she just put it there. How do you return an open bottle? I don't know but I should have. 40z of beer to me is dangerous. I cross the line of being able to stop drinking. So I continued down my path of inebriation with white russians. Ugh.

Thursday's unexpected rest day became Friday's unexpected rest day. Saturday brought a miserable morning, and my stomach still doesn't feel right. Defeated, I let 3 days in a row go by without doing anything active. Instead of feeling refreshed I just feel gross, lazy and sluggish. My blood has become molasses, my body too heavy to push myself to a gym. I hate feeling like this. Today I plan to break the cycle with a 40mi ride with my old friend Deborah. We went to the same church, well her dad was the minister, way way back when my parents were able to make me go to church. It's been over 10 years, but we both happened to end up into the same things and living half an hour from each other. Funny how things work out that way. It's probably going to rain and be miserable, but fuck it. Seriously, I need to move and I need to remember why I started doing all this in the first place.

I've avoided writing about this aspect of my life for awhile now. I debated airing this in a searchable public forum, but I think to understand me and why I run, bike, swim and fight, this is a major part of it. I don't know why I drink myself to an oblivion once every 2 - 3 months. I would go back to being straight edge but when I do drink moderately, it's nice. It's nice to have a mojito on a hot summer day. It's nice to have a cold Smithwick's after a long bike ride. What's not cool is drinking until I black out, and feeling hungover for days. My body is just sensitive to it, it's undeniable. People think I'm exaggerating when I say I feel off or hungover for days, but then they see it for themselves and realize it's no joke. I'm still trying to figure out whether I can just learn to wise up and be careful, or if I really need to avoid alcohol altogether. I hope to find the answer to this someday, but I think it's just one of those things I'll struggle with forever.

In other less depressing news, my garden is still going strong!

Sprouted Seedlings!

Mojito Mint, transplanted from my backyard.

Basil and Tomato Seedlings from the Farmer's Market join the mint and pansies

First Bike Commute

2009-04-28T21:46:00.005-04:00

After weeks of saying I was going to do it, I finally commuted to work via bike! I ended up riding 20.71mi in about 1:30min. I gave myself 1:45, just in case I got lost, which I sorta did. Here's the commute map:

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyrun.com/run/united-states/ct/new-haven/214123957790044486"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;commute2b&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br/&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://www.mapmyrun.com/find-run/united-states/ct/new-haven"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Find more Runs in New Haven, Connecticut&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;
Today was the perfect day to ride. The morning air was already in the 60s. I only had a tank top and shorts on and was only cold a few times. I woke up around 5:30am and got out the door for 6:20. The first few miles felt so long and I was nervous it was going to take me forever. I got up the hills with hardly any problems, and my average speed was 13.5 which isn't terrible considering I didn't stop my Garmin for crossings.

In the Woodmont section of Milford, I had the biggest surprise of my ride. I had been in the Woodmont section twice, once in my car checking out the commute and again on my birthday ride. I immediately noticed what I thought to be giant squirrel nests. Well on my ride this morning, I saw what I thought was a brilliantly bright Goldfinch. On further inspection I realized it was NEON GREEN. What are PARROTS doing in CONNECTICUT?! It wasn't until later at work that I found out more about the Monk Parakeets of Milford.

Most of the ride was really enjoyable. The shore areas are beautiful, so are the colonial style New England town centers. I went from urban New Haven, through West Haven and Milford's shoreline, suburbia and quaint town centers, across 95, down the Sikorsky bike path which crosses a scenic Housatonic River. For all those out there who may happen upon this blog, the Sikorsky bike path can be reached at Wheeler's Farm Rd in Milford. I tried so many times on my morning commute to figure out where the entrance was when I got on 15.

I arrived at work for 8am so I got on the treadmill and ran 2.25mi. I need to get used to running after biking, and I figured it'd be a good opportunity to practice. Unfortunately I did not ride back home. I was feeling great and energized til about 3pm when my body crashed. I tried to drink some highly caffeinated tea, but it only worked for about half an hour before I was feeling tired all over again. Lame. Thankfully my coworker drove me home, and he lives close enough by me it's not too out of the way for him. I hope to ride in once a week, and perhaps one of these days ride both ways.

In other news, I purchased pedals tonight. After much research and guesswork I decided upon the 2009 Look Keo Sprint Pedals, in red:

I really hope I made a good decision, though who the hell knows. I searched for so long, liked the reviews about them and found a site with them for the cheapest price. As soon as I added it to my cart, when I looked again at the description it said sold out. So apparently I had the last ones available in my cart. Either that or they have some coding trickery going on. In any case I felt it was now or never at the price I was getting on the site, and had to make a decision. I'm sure they'll be fine, I just wasn't expecting to pay over $100 for freaking pedals.

Green Week

2009-04-26T23:28:00.009-04:00

Last Sunday I started my balcony garden. I went to Home Depot and went crazy buying seeds, seedlings, window box planters and potting soil. I celebrated Earth Day this week by planting seeds. I planted two types of basil, oregano and rosemary. I'm kind of scared none of my seeds will grow. This Saturday I started clearing out the backyard garden area and getting out all the weeds and junk that's in the dirt. I planted lettuce, Thai basil and a few pansies. Unfortunately I can't do much in the backyard because my landlord is having a new fence put in. I'm excited for the new fence, but not the possibility that the contractor might damage what I planted, or take a really long time completing the project. My landlord also wants to replace the wood wall that separates the garden from the lawn with stone. I hope it doesn't take too long!

Today I went to Home Depot, and again went crazy buying plants. I even bought a couple indoor plants. Here are some pics of my balcony garden and the backyard:

Pansies and Lettuce in the Backyard

Pansies in Pail

Cilantro, Jalapeno and Curly Parsley

String Beans

More String Beans and some Spinach

Purple Pansy

Week of April 12, 2009

2009-04-20T21:58:00.007-04:00

Goals for the Week:
Swim: 4000y
Bike: 60mi
Run: 15mi
Strength: 2hrs
Rest: 1 day

Actual Totals for the Week:
Swim:2000y
Bike:75.92mi
Run: 16.85mi
Strength: 1hour
Rest: 0

So I ended up biking 15 miles more, and almost running 2 miles over my goals and not meeting anything else. Whoops. I have to admit my goals were pretty lofty. This week was insane. Mid-week my roommate decides he's moving out, out of NOWHERE. He just wrote me an email saying some friend of his asked him to move in with her and decided to pack up and go. Whatever, his cigarette smoking was disgusting and out of control. I found a new roommate within 3 days, a new record for me. This was the third time since moving into this apartment I've had to find a roommate. This place seems cursed but I love it so I deal with it. Thought I'd give a quick run-down of the week.

Sunday: It was Easter Sunday, the Trifitness group met up in Fairfield for a group ride. I decided it'd be better than riding alone like I had planned to. We did 27mi and it was so hard for me to catch up. First of all I'm still kind of dumb when it comes to shifting. Secondly, everyone had clip shoes and pedals except for me. Third, I only had a protein shake before I rushed down to Fairfield and not enough carbs. After I shoved down a mini Luna bar around the 15th mile or so I felt a lot better. Later in the day I tried to bike one of my commute options. Got to the most ginormous hills I've ever attempted and decided I'd plan a different route. Rode 40mi total.

Monday: Swam 2000y on my own, no drills. Timed myself for my second set of 1000y and did it in 21:50. That comes out to 2:11 for every 100y. I dont know what's a decent time, but 21:50 had me pretty happy.

Tuesday: Ran 6.77 miles before work down in Shelton. Decided to start by running up a giant hill without much of a warmup. Lesson learned. My boss seemed horrified that I'd even attempt the route I did. The giant hill (Coram Rd) is not only steep but cars usually speed around it and don't think to look out for runners. Saw a dead possum followed by a dead beaver, gross. Road kill is a lot more disgusting when it's at your feet.

Wednesday: Kettlebells and kickboxing. Kickboxing was intense. I did about five 3min rounds with kettlebell/medicine ball/ab work between each set. First kickboxing session in a long time where I felt totally wiped afterward. I loved it.

Thursday: Ran 5 miles in the morning at an 8:20 pace. Not bad for running up some hills. At night I did my first computrainer class and I loved it! It was only me and another woman which was sort of nice, until she wouldn't stop talking. The bikes are set up to trainers with special equipment which connects to a computer. TriFitness has a projection set up, so you can see the route on the computrainer program you are doing. When you go up a hill, the trainer tightens as if you are going up a 2%, 6% or whatever grade hill you're supposedly on. During the session you see where you are on the route, how fast you are going, the watts you are putting out, how far behind you are the leader and so on. I did okay, especially for no pedals or shoes. I was completely soaked with sweat. I actually had to have Pascale run and get me more water because my right calve started pulsating and I knew immediately I was dehydrated. We did a 10mi route with two gigantic hills.

Friday: Ran almost 4 miles with Kelly. It was my first time running with someone and it was pretty nice. My pace was awful since my legs were still tired from Thursday's madness. Left her behind after the second mile, my legs just needed to go faster. I hate leaving people behind even though she was fine with it.

Saturday: Birthday! Instead of resting like I was supposed to, the day was far too beautiful not to go out. I planned out a 25 mile route to celebrate my 25th year. I actually ended up doing almost 26 after getting a little off course. Rode down to Milford, CT along the shoreline. It was a good time until I saw a horrific car crash. I was going really fast down this one giant hill and when I turned the corner to go up a hill realized the road was blocked off. There were a few ambulances and a few cop cars. Got off my bike to walk around it, neighbors were out watching the scene. The totaled car was the same make, model and color as mine. I started to dry heave a little when I realized the entire driver side door was crushed. It looked like a comet had exploded into the car. I couldn't see into the car or make out how the accident happened. Ever since my accident when I was 18 I have a really hard time seeing wrecks.

Out of nowhere one of the neighbors I walked passed said, "Woah you have a lot of tattoos. I only have one." It was some random guy in his 60s. I looked over at him and he rolled up his sleeve to reveal an ancient tattoo in old school lettering that read "Vera". "I was just a chicken shit, I only got one. I wish I got as many as you, they look good on you." It was definitely a nice change from the old man scowl I usually get. To my left an old woman who either saw the accident or didn't know what to do because the road was blocked was sitting on her car looking really upset. I couldn't tell if that's just how she always looked or if she needed attention, I wanted to say or do something but I didn't know what to do.

Overall my birthday was awesome. The weather was awesome, my parents came down to visit and that made them really happy. I wasn't completely excited to have them come down, but seeing how happy they were was worth it. I showed them how East Rock is a beautiful neighborhood, and the cherry blossoms in Wooster Square. My party went well and as usual I have way too much beer left over. I didn't get too drunk so I was fine going to swim class on Sunday.

Vietnam

2009-04-11T23:02:00.009-04:00

Late November into early December 2008, I was traveling in Vietnam. I went through the travel group Bike Hike Adventures on their Vietnam "Paddle and Play" trip. I finally got around to finishing up editing together a video from footage I took while I was there. I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but it has been four months or so since the trip. I figure it's about time I get something up. The trip included several days of biking, hiking and sea kayaking. It went from Hanoi north to Lao Cai and Sapa, then back down to Hanoi and then to Halong Bay. This year I hope to bike from Hanoi south, into Laos and Cambodia. Maybe Thailand too if I can fit it in.

I recommend playing it in HQ, which you can select once you start playing it.

Long Ride, Long Day

2009-04-08T23:05:00.010-04:00

I woke up this morning around 4:50am trying to get up for Kettlebells and Kickboxing at 5:30am. I hit snooze over and over again. Nope, wasn't going to make it. I looked outside, the weather's been unpredictable all week. It looked good and I readied myself for a long bike ride. By the time I got some food in me and geared up it was 5:45am. I started my ride around 5:50, figuring I'd have about an hour and a half to ride. My goal was to go about 20mi and speed up my average of 14.5mph from Sunday's ride.

The more I ride the Roubaix the more I feel I made the right decision. I was going down the top of Whitney Ave around 16mph. With my Amphipod blinking, and only a few cars on the road, I felt safe. The only thing that sucked about my ride was the amount of snot pouring from my nose. It was unstoppable! Many times I had snot running down my face, flinging off in the wind. I felt like a 5 year old! I stopped about every few miles to blow my nose and wipe off. When I stopped completely, I'd stop my Garmin.

Once I got onto the canal, I didn't see anyone else for 5 miles or so. There was one section by some water where it sounded like a thousand song birds were meeting up. It was a beautiful but eerie sound, like they were having some giant convention. At one point, around mile 8 I noticed what I thought to be pollen floating down. I looked around for the culprit tree, until I realized the "pollen" was melting on my leg. It was snow!! It flurried on and off for the rest of the ride. At mile 9 I stopped and ate a mini Clif bar, and enjoyed the scenery.

At mile 11 I realized I should turn back and move it! I decided to stop stopping so frequently and just deal with the snot. I pushed myself and kept checking my Garmin, I really wanted to up my average speed. I thought back to spin classes, and the trainer I like shouting encouragement. I got back to the apartment around 7:35am, which was my goal. Stripped, stretched and plugged in my Garmin. Damnit, there was 14.5 staring back at me. I hope when I get the proper fitting, pedals and shoes I will do better. Also, it is only my second time on a road bike!!

Overall it was a great ride, and made me feel confident that I can commute the 14 miles or so to work no problem. I plan on talking to HR tomorrow about getting a locker in the warehouse to keep things overnight so I have less to carry with me. They offered me a spot there before, but I was slacking in my gym time around then. I also hope to see if I can chain my bike up in the warehouse or... (crosses fingers) maybe in the game room? The game room would be ideal for me since I don't exactly trust the warehouse staff, and the game room is pretty empty most of the day. We'll see.

Twelve hours after my bike ride, at 7:30pm I was at pilates on the pool deck. I was WEAK! Could hardly finish any of the exercises. The pool swim was a struggle. Thankfully I was in the second lane with two girls I talk to and a guy who was pretty cool. At first I felt like the slow poke, and wondered if I should just go into the slow lane. At some points the water felt like pudding, everything was so heavy and I was so tired. My lane was doing the B distance, 2800 yards. Gulp! I wanted to do the C workout of 2150! I sucked it up and just pushed myself.

It wasn't until we were doing kick only drills I had an Ah-ha! moment. Without the kickboard, my kicking is AWESOME! I was coming up on the guy in front of me every time. Oh! I CAN be fast! My kicking ISN'T HORRIBLE! It was the BOARD! I mentioned to the guy this discovery and he said, "Oh yeah! I hate the board! My kicking is WAY better without it!" I proceeded to flip off the kickboard on the deck and beat it with my catch-up stick. "Hey hey Heather! Tsk. Behave!" Pascale, the coach chided me. I don't know why, but it makes me feel like a naughty little kid being scolded by a heavy French accent.

After that I felt much better about myself, and my times improved. I concentrated on kicking like I did during the drill and noticed I was going faster. It was the boost I needed to get me through the rest of the workout. Luckily my comrades decided they didn't want to do the last 150y drill, and just do the cooldown. Yessss. Turns out we only got to swim 100 more yards before they kicked us slow pokes out. It was great being in a lane with people about my speed, and we pushed each other on. I didn't have to stop, and I only got caught up to once. It helped me to push myself and we all walked away a little annoyed we didn't finish the entire plan, but happy we did it together.

Tomorrow is definitely a rest day!

Bike!!!

2009-04-04T12:30:00.006-04:00

I finally got a new road bike! A 2006 Fuji Roubaix RC! For 40% of the original price, new, I think I can live with this purchase. If only it wasn't so windy today! I'd be off for the rest of the day riding! Absolutely excited for long rides!!

Adding Miles

2009-04-02T23:24:00.008-04:00

Monday night I went to the gym before swimming class, and ran a moderate 3.47mi on the treadmill to kill time. Then I went to swim class in time for most of the pilates session. Unfortunately I'm not getting the emails from the trainer anymore for some reason, and I don't have the night's swim drills to look at. Basically the swim that night was A LOT of kicking. As awesome as my kicks are out of the water, they aren't that great in the water. It took me two minutes to kick 50 yards with the kick board. The trainer, who thankfully was more attentive than usual, told me to put on flippers. I hadn't put flippers on since I was 8 or something, so it felt pretty weird.

Once I got in the water and started moving my legs I was flying. I was doing 50 yards in around 45 seconds. It was FUN and I couldn't believe how great it felt to go fast. Later in the showers, one woman exclaimed how I was beating people in the fast lane who had flippers on too. I don't know about that, I don't think the few I noticed passing had flippers on, I do know that she did and I flew past her. So... all I need to do is have my feet grow like 7 inches longer and I'm golden.

This morning I woke up and added more miles, my first 8.5 mile run! I woke up at 5:30am totally awake. I haven't been as sluggish in the morning lately, either I'm getting better sleep or it's the warmer weather. I think the latter. So I decided to run, see if I could go past 7. I planned my route, which is down Whitney Ave, and heading onto a part of the canal trail, back home again. I used to bike it in the morning all the time, and thought it was around 8 miles. Yeah, about 8, more like 8 and a half I would realize on the 7th mile.

I took the time to really stretch and drink my magic 3 pints of water (I use mostly pint glasses even though I hardly drink beer!) and cinnamon graham crackers. I left a little later than I had hoped to, but figured it'd be motivation in the end to make me run faster so I'm not late for work. Right from the beginning I knew my 8:30 pace from Monday was not happening. I pushed and pushed, but I was always around 6.5mph. It was so frustrating, but I had done over 3 miles the night before, and the 2800y swim. The map shows little elevation change, but there are hills, I swear! It felt way more hilly than Monday's run. I don't get it! I don't remember any visible hills from Monday, and this run has hills, or I've lost my mind.

I had safety pinned a pocket thing I have from this crazy gothic Japanese outfit I have to hold tissues and a Clif gel. Thank god I did that, that gel was overdue at mile 6. I needed something to give me a boost cause I felt myself getting weaker and weaker. I tried so hard to push myself to go faster, it was around here that I was running 7.5mph and a little higher, but I couldn't sustain it for long. When I ended my run and walking back to my apartment I used my iPod's calculator to figure out the pace. Around 9min miles. Sigh. I found myself talking out loud. "Not only did you swim last night you ran. You usually don't even work out after swimming. 9's okay. I mean you did good Monday. You're tired, 9's are fine." I'm insane.

I peeled off my clothes when I got in my apartment. Standing in my underwear in the middle of my kitchen, the bags of frozen vegetables felt amazing on my legs. My roommate wasn't home, but even if he was I wouldn't of cared, all I cared for was freezing cold ice on my legs. When I took off my socks I discovered a sweet blood blister. It's a baby, but it's the first one I've had on my foot. When I was in the shower I remembered that during the first mile I felt the weirdest sensation in my foot, like fluid moving around. I realized it was in the same spot, so I think I actually felt my blood blister form! Sick, I know. Weird that it'd happen so soon into the run.

Anyway that's that. I've ran almost 20mi this week so far. At the end of my run I had a moment of thinking how insane this all is. How could I run 5 more for a half marathon? How could I ever run three times that amount for a marathon? It all seems so far away for the first time. I know I have to slowly build miles, and it will come, but it just seems further away than before. You'd think it'd be the opposite, the longer my runs the better I'd feel. Maybe because this particular run, even though it was my longest thus far, I felt so worn out. I think I'll be smart and wait a week or so before attempting 9 miles.

Lucky 7

2009-03-30T22:14:00.003-04:00

There she is, finally. Mile seven seemed to have alluded me this year so far, but I nabbed that bitch with an 8:30 pace. After yesterday's depressing swim meet, I woke up today determined to prove to myself I'm not completely hopeless. I may not be a great swimmer, yet, but I can run. After three pints of water and some cinnamon graham crackers, I was good the entire run. I had a slight running stitch but it lasted a quarter mile. I got to Long Wharf in time for the sunrise, and the morning blow jobs.

Long Wharf is a notorious hookup spot, especially for men. It was my first time down there in the morning and I couldn't believe how many cars were lined up on the overlook spots. I ran passed 15 or so as Eve came on my headphones and my runner's high finally kicked in. It usually kicks in around 3 miles, the scenery helped. I said hi to a Canadian goose, but I think it hissed at me.

When I ran on Olive St I thought about how I should have my friends in the area put out water bottles for me the night before. I can run past like a reverse milk man and get some hydration. Or I can just get a damn Camelback fanny pack and look like the robot runner I am. Amphipod light and Garmin wrist laptop on one arm, iPod Touch on the other, heart rate monitor strap under my sports bra. I'm practically bionic. ...I think about some pretty weird stuff when I'm running.

Anyway, this run is exactly what I needed. Pep talks don't work for me, the only thing that works is proving it to myself.

Swim Meet

2009-03-30T21:04:00.004-04:00

So Sunday was the last day of the first TriFitness session of the year. The coaches decided to make it into a swim meet. When I heard about this I was really, really displeased. I'm not into swimming for short speed events. I want to swim long, at a good pace and do it well. Also, I've never competed in swimming so I had no idea what it'd be like and that freaked me out.

Luckily, a girl I swim with, Jen, is a newbie too. She's pretty much as clueless as I am when it comes to all this. When they told us we'd have to jump into the pool at the start just like a real swim meet, we looked at each other in horror. When they placed us in our heats we were, of course, both first in our lane.

The first race was 50 yard fist drill, that is swimming with your hands as fists. My fists, by the way, are tiny. I came in second to last. Next race, catch-up drill using the "drowning stick". I was pissed. I have to do the drill I suck at the most as fast as I can? Again I came in second to last. At this point my body felt like Jell-O. I was pushing myself as much as I could and ending up still far behind. Third race, 100 yard freestyle. Finally something I felt like I could do before the races started. Now I was already pumped full of adrenaline and anxiety.

Jen had an early lead next to me, as I got to the end of the pool my turn around was faster. "Alright," I thought, "maybe I can actually do this." Halfway across the pool I realized, my form was totally wrong, I had let the adrenaline and drive to go fast totally take over. I hit the other end of the pool, turned around. This is when it's all a blur. All I knew was that I could hear myself gasping, the awful sound I only make when I have an asthma attack. Fuck. I got to the other side of the pool. "One more length, that's it. Do it." I struggled and gasped and was generally freaking out. Dead last. I threw my goggles on the ground and walked as fast as I could to the locker room.

My body was shaking, I wanted to vomit and break down crying, and most of all I wanted to breathe. I fumbled with my lock, threw my purse contents about the locker until I found my inhaler. Everything was spinning. I was freaking out so much the first spray went onto my tongue, I didn't even breathe in. Second attempt, success. I could feel my throat relaxing. Another spray, my head cleared enough to see straight again. I helped time the rest of the races. The old men on my heat kept saying, "C'mon Heather, just race." "Um no, I had an asthma attack." They all seemed like that was no big deal.

I was still feeling sick and shaky, and it felt like no one fucking believed me. I wondered if I just let myself puke like I wanted to do if they'd get it then. The coach told me I looked really pale and asked if I was okay. I told her I'd be fine in a bit. I was so disappointed watching everyone swim. I know it wasn't a real competition and it was just for fun. That didn't stop me from feeling like I should have done better, or worrying if I can really do a triathlon if I can't even do a few small races.

From this point forward, I'll be taking my Advair again. It's a preventative, expensive, asthma medication. I don't like to use it, but I also don't want another asthma attack. This was the first real attack where I felt totally out of control and felt sick for hours after. I wanted to be hugged and comforted, I felt so feeble and just really sad and disappointed. Lame.

To end on a high note, I apparently smoked everyone at the doggy paddle. As a final race and a joke, they had us do a doggy paddle relay. I decided I could at least pull myself through a 25 yard paddle, since it's the one thing I know I can do and there's no right way to do it. When it was my time to go, everyone was way behind me. People were slightly amazed. Of course, how like me, to be good at the most bizarre thing. Maybe I should doggy paddle my way through the triathlon.

Just Because

2009-03-26T09:52:00.002-04:00

I've been tired, sore and kinda miserable lately.
My friend sent me this, and it cheered me up.
She said this is what she imagines I do after a workout.

I love this kid!

Hammonassett Run

2009-03-22T21:13:00.005-04:00

Disappointing run today. I didn't get enough sleep last night, for some reason I just couldn't sleep and stayed up til around 2am and woke up around 8:30am. Felt groggy and listless, worked on the blog some more, and played around with the TrailRunner software I downloaded yesterday. It was supposed to be a bright sunny day in the 50s. I was determined to at least go out for a run. My initial idea was to run at Lake Saltonstall in Branford, CT since one of the trainer's at Aiki highly recommended it.

By the time I got to Lake Saltonstall it was 2:30pm. I drove around the park area a few times, the parking areas were closed and there were no good spots to park. I decided to scrap the idea, and thought of other places to run. Lighthouse Point crossed my mind, and would have made more sense, but I decided to spring for Hammonasset State Park. I was there yesterday with a friend, and as we walked around I saw a lot of runners and decided I was going to run there sometime soon. I wasn't expecting it to be the next day.

By the time I got to the Hammonasset exit, I was feeling off. A combination of little sleep and eating too early. I had planned to run around 12:30 or so, so I ate around 11:30. Now it was 3:00, and I was running near empty. It was a gray chilly day at Hammonasset. Everyone was bundled up, except for me of course. Run started out okay until a little after the first mile. Cramps. Stupid, annoying cramps. Breathed through them, and hit mile 2 surprisingly quick. Just after the second mile though, the cramps set in again. Breathed through as much as I could, but decided I'll make it to 3 miles and quit. The last quarter mile felt twice as long. The walk back to the car was depressing. I was probably a little over a half mile away.

Blah I really wanted to get more miles in this weekend. There's always next weekend...

First Garmin Forerunner 305 Run

2009-03-21T15:45:00.010-04:00

Today I fully merged my tech/nerd side and athletic side, and I'm quite pleased. I took advantage of the beautiful, albeit still chilly day to embark on a long run. I was hoping for 7 miles, but I definitely didn't eat enough breakfast. I petered out around 5.5 miles. Still good if you figure that my last outdoor run was a month ago. I readied my Garmin by connecting it with my computer and making sure it had the latest firmware on it. I also downloaded the Garmin Training Center for Mac program.

It was about 40 degrees when I started my run, and really bright out. At the end of my warm up walk, who should I see riding their bikes, but my dearest Kelly and her beau. She, of course, busted on my wrist laptop. As I started my run they caught back up with me a few blocks down. I shouted to them the distance from the street corner we met up at and their approximate speed. It's really cool to be able to look down and see my speed, it kind of makes me feel like I'm on some elaborate virtual reality treadmill. I tried to keep it in the 7mph range.

I should have drank a third glass of water before my run, I didn't factor in the green tea I drank this morning. I got a few cramps but I breathed through them. At one point I realized I'd be able to see the watch better if the face was on the inside of my wrist, so I moved it around. After a mile or so I noticed the speed displayed was lower than I felt like it should be. I had a flashback to the manual, and how they recommend keeping the face on the outside of your wrist for better reception. D'oh! Lesson learned.

When I got back to the apartment, icing down felt amazing! I let out audible sighs of relief as I moved my roommate's bags of frozen edamame around my legs. I don't remember a time icing down felt so good before! I then grabbed my laptop to play with the Garmin Training Center program. It was great to see my exact route on the screen, no more tracing with MapMyRun! I logged onto my MapMyRun account and downloaded the Garmin connection plug-in. I loaded the data into the training log. I definitely prefer the MapMyRun's Google map to the basic Garmin one. I used the Calories Burned Calculator to figure out the more accurate amount burned. The Forerunner data says I burned 523, whereas the calories burned calculator (that has been within 10 calories of the more accurate Timex watch) estimated 769 calories burned.

Now I just need to settle on what program I want to stick with for logging data! The only log I seem to be able to stick to is my notebook, but it doesn't make fancy charts and graphs for me. I try to stick with MyMyRun, for maps it's cool but I'm still not crazy about the format. Recently heard about www.buckeyeoutdoors.com and will try it out.

Learning to Rest

2009-03-20T06:26:00.004-04:00

It's really hard for me to rest, especially when I have the time to workout. I woke up this morning around 5:40am, doing the usual internal workout psych up. The motivational pep talk soon turned into a debate. "I've worked out pretty hard this week, my arms ache, my legs are stiff, I should probably rest." "But my clothes are laid out! My lunch is waiting in the fridge to be packed!" "Rest is an important part of training, you need to accept that." "But I'm already up and started to get ready!" I'm still debating as I'm typing this, thinking I could bust out a couple more sentences before throwing on my workout clothes and rushing out.

Rest days are important for muscle and body recovery. It's hard to let it sink in sometimes that over training can lead to a decline in performance, and can be counter productive. I should have learned my lesson last month when I got sick. After some searching, Dave Scott, six-time Ironman Champion gives me more reasons to rest today:

While I'm not at the point he talks about, where I feel unable to get my heart rate up, and my body just feels heavy and tired, I have been there before. It's not hard to recognize when you're body is starting to feel worn, but when you're in good shape and have pushed yourself before, it's really hard to tell yourself to rest.

Training Blog

2009-03-19T20:39:00.003-04:00

Added a new blog, "Run, Bike, Swim, Fight! - Training". Today as I was writing in my training log I realized that its contents span 2 years this week. It started out as a food and exercise log, and then became just an exercise log. Writing down everything you eat is not only annoying, but I felt strange after awhile. My log definitely has some points where I dropped off from training and/or logging. From 6/5/2007 - 1/26/2008 I stopped logging. I do know for a fact I was still training. Impressively most of my workouts from 2008 are in there. It's kind of crazy to flip through. What I was doing at any point in the log reminds me of what was going on then in my life. Whenever I see "arc trainer" I know I was working out at Planet Fitness, and living at my apartment on Nicoll St.

I think my training log is integral to this blogging endeavor, but I realize it's pretty dry reading. I decided to add Run, Bike, Swim, Fight! - Training so that it can be separate from my thoughts but still accessible. There will be some overlaps of course between the two, but I really don't expect anyone to RSS to both, or even read the training blog on a regular basis.

Another observation I made while looking through my training log, is how far I've come in my running! The first mention of a treadmill is 5/6/2008 where I ran a mile in 11 minutes. By 6/5/08 I was running 15 minutes plus 3 minutes cooldown with a distance of 1.56 miles. A month later on 7/8/08, I ran 25 minutes with 5 minutes cooldown with a distance of 2.51 miles. In August I was running more than 5 miles outdoors. Unfortunately I slacked on logging my outdoor runs, and the only log I can find of running more than 5 miles is from 10/10/08 where I ran 7.39 miles, doing 9:33 minute miles. Still, I'm pretty impressed with myself, and I don't say something like that often! Looking at the progress I've made makes me look forward to how far I can run this year, and to cutting my times down even more.

New Toys!

2009-03-15T23:11:00.008-04:00

After almost a year of debating, I finally gave in and bought a Garmin Forerunner. My coworker says it looks like a wrist laptop. It practically is, and it's totally nerdy but at the end of the day I love gadgets and what else would you expect from an athletic web designer?! I haven't had the opportunity to run with it yet, but I can't wait. I did try to wear it to a spin class, but I hadn't read the manual and didn't know how to shut off the GPS function. The next day after figuring out how to shut off the GPS for "indoor mode" I ran on the treadmill with it. The heart rate monitor seems accurate, I compared it to the treadmill's sensor a few times, each time it matched very closely. Unfortunately the display doesn't change much if you turn the GPS off, so the heart rate gets lost on the display and is so small I could barely read it. Another annoyance I had was that I couldn't find the calories burned function. After reading up online, it seems the calories burned is way off anyway. It uses speed as part of its formula, so if you're on a bike and coasting down a hill at 17mph it shoots the calories burned up as if you're exerting enough effort to move a bike that fast. I mentioned this to a coworker (I had the Garmin box on my desk so people were asking all about it) and she told me she had a heart rate monitor she wanted to get rid of.

Enter gadget #2, a Timex Ironman Triathlon Heart Rate Monitor 50 lap watch. Another reason this is an awesome addition, besides the more accurate calories burned function, is that I can wear this underwater. For indoor workouts it's perfect, and the display shows my heart rate very clearly. I tried it out during two workouts this week, and I'm kinda in love with it. I had no idea before how many calories I was burning during my kettlebell workouts. Answer, A LOT. Like 200 in 15 minutes! Having the watch also helps me time my workouts, so I can accurately do 15 minutes of kettlebell work, 10 minutes of ab work and so on. This is great for pushing me to do more, or stopping me from going overboard. It keeps me focused as well as telling me which heart rate zone I'm in.

Since my heart rate with the Timex Ironman was just as accurate as the Forerunner when compared to the treadmill sensor and it factors in weight, I'd like to think the calories burned feature is pretty accurate. It says I burn more calories than the treadmill estimates, but then again, the treadmill doesn't factor in my heart rate a majority of the time. I did a bit of research and found this calculator. It factors in sex, weight, average heart rate and duration. This calculator was very close, within 15 calories of my watch. Obviously calorie counting isn't an exact science, but it's definitely interesting and helpful to know how much you are burning. I still can't get over how many calories doing kettlebells after running burned! I found yet another reason why I love kettlebells!

In the Fast Lane, Back on Track

2009-03-02T21:19:00.003-05:00

Yesterday at swim class was my first real workout in almost a week. I got there about five minutes late, and found new people in the slow lane I usually swim in. (The pool is divided up from the slowest swimmers to the fastest, that way there's not a traffic jam when slow swimmers hold up fast swimmers behind them.) The new swimmers were already clinging to the sides of the pool out of breath. I've never seen people stop in the middle of the pool before.
The coach put another slow lane regular and I in the fourth lane and said we graduated for the night. I think I kept up pretty well for most of the class. I did get tired pretty easily, and I did cough a few times which didn't help much. The slow guy and I were doing the group B drills, so we only had to do half the amount of laps in one section as the two group A girls that were in our lane. Once we got to that section of the drills, they flew passed and lapped us. Oh well!
I'm surprised that even in a faster lane, people don't really understand the drill sheets. They ask over and over how to do the drills, and how many lengths to swim. Look, if it says 2x50, do two sets of 2 lengths! It's pretty easy to get the hang of. The pool is 25 yards, divide the second number by 25 and you get the number of lengths. I'm a math idiot, but I can figure it out! The asking and hold ups are so annoying, and then they usually end up doing the wrong amount of laps. I try to do the right amount of laps, and then they're like "Oh you're still doing that drill?" I want to be like, "Yes, because you cut it short by 2 lengths, and I'm doing it the right way." But I just shrug and continue finishing up the set.
Did my first strength training workout in over a week this morning. Unfortunately my workout was cut short due to the fact we got a shitload of snow. Digging out my car and dealing with the roads cut out a half an hour of the hour or so I wanted to get in. I guess it's better to start off slow anyway. I hope to spend this week slowly getting my workouts back to normal. The only trace of my cold is a few coughs here and there. Because I have asthma, whenever I get a cold, I usually have a cough that lingers a few extra days. I still can't get over the fact I was sick only a week! If only I could tell me of a few years ago to take a bunch of vitamins, take Zicam and eat vegetarian. I could have saved myself from a multitude of doctors visits, antibiotic treatments and bullshit.

Sick, ickity ick.

2009-02-26T20:31:00.002-05:00

Well, I'm sick. I haven't been sick in almost a year. I guess I should be happy with the fact that getting sick isn't as bad as it used to be for me. It's hard to believe a few years ago being sick meant months of misery, and now I can overcome a cold within a week.
Part of my recovery is just keeping a positive attitude. I tell myself that I can beat this, and that it doesn't have to last for weeks or months. The other difficult part is taking it easy and not working out. I want to run, I want to move, but I know I can't breathe well enough to do so. That and I feel ridiculously weak.
Finally took a day off work today. Sleeping in felt so amazing. They say getting sick is just your body's way of telling you to take it easy. Perhaps this is true. So no crazy gym nights until I get better. I did manage a 40 length swim Monday night, and yoga tonight. I think I'm already getting over this cold, so hopefully I can be back at it next week.

Swim Analysis

2009-02-23T21:38:00.008-05:00

Last Sunday at my swim class they did video analysis of our technique. They only taped me swimming one length, which was kind of disappointing. I feel like several laps would give a better idea of how I swim. I did however receive some helpful hints, and it was nice that they emailed me stills and a video, as well as a recap of their suggestions. Unfortunately the video seems to have a weird codec, and I can only view it on a particular program. Final Cut Pro doesn't even recognize the file, which is totally lame. This is what Coach Bill Steele from Breakwater Sports had to say:

"Your balance at the surface is pretty good, but I am going to comment about a couple of technique points. In the first shot below your legs are very deep in the water:

You are bending your knees too much and kicking from your quads - this gets your legs so deep in the water that they probably are creating as much drag as propulsion. I would suggest doing a lot of vertical kicking and trying to emphasize keeping the kick compact, with very little knee bend, and initiating it from the hips. Then when returning to freestyle, try to focus on kicking from your hips and keeping your legs in the same column occupied by your body (instead of beneath it).
In the second shot your arm is very deep in the water:

On all of your strokes your arms remain very straight, and go very deep, moving in a windmill fashion. Look at the first video on the following webpage: Drill Video

Notice how the swimmers extend their arm forward, pause very briefly, pop their elbow towards the surface and get their hand under it, and finally press back towards their feet using their hand and forearm like the blade of a paddle.

Your balance and comfort in the water look very good, so if you can change how you use your arms I think you could be very fast."

I am pretty psyched to hear him say I could be very fast, especially since I'm still very new to this whole proper swimming thing. After class that day a woman in the class told me I was really getting fast. Again, great to hear, and I was pretty proud of myself. I've been focusing a lot lately on swimming and strength training. I try to make it to the pool at the very least one other day a week besides the swim class.

Last week a fellow swimmer at my gym, who I had talked to before, remarked that I had really improved. The last time he saw me swim was before my class, when I was doing my special forwards drowning technique. He said I looked a lot better in the water, not only keeping my head down but faster as well. I felt like I had redeemed myself. Before my class, I knew my technique was all wrong, and I was intimidated by the swimmers at the gym who have obviously been a part of school swim teams and compete. Now I don't feel so self conscious and I can focus more on my technique without worrying how hopeless I must look to anyone who happens to be watching.

I recently found this article, 'Introduction to Triathlon Swim Training'. It's probably the easiest swim article to read I have found so far. Many articles use a lot of jargon and obviously swim technique is a hard subject to write about. Proper swim form is pretty complicated, and to break it down in text without boring or confusing people is a challenge. The authors tips seem pretty easy to follow, and I've definitely taken this article as well as Coach Bill's advice into account.

Determination, Perspiration, Preparation

2009-02-16T21:41:00.004-05:00

"Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration."
- Thomas Alva Edison

As I was eating my dinner tonight, and thinking of what I needed to do before bed, I thought of this quote. When it comes to training though, I think it involves 60% Determination, 25% Perspiration and 15% Preparation. Fitting workouts into an already busy schedule is hard, let alone finding the time to eat right and sleep enough hours. I prepare A LOT. Part of it is in my neurotic nature, but it helps me save time and avoid being late for work or missing an hour or so of precious sleep.
My nightly ritual has been to prepare my lunch for the next day. My tiny Hello Kitty cups were an amazing find in Japan. They fit about two tablespoons of whatever condiment I need to bring with me. They are perfect for transporting nut butters, salad dressing, margarine or as I have been lately, spices to mix into my veggies. I also fill a small container with a handful of almonds, a great snack that helps control my hunger. Other snacks include a packet of instant oatmeal, an apple, dried fruit and Chobani yogurt with a small container of blueberries.
Getting my snacks and meal together for the next day lets me sleep in a little in the morning. I also set out my workout clothes and "work" clothes for the following day. I basically aim for thinking as little as possible in the morning. Being prepared however means I can usually be found carrying 2 to 3 bags at a time, which kind of makes me feel like a bit of a hobo. I always have my purse, my workout bag, and my lunch bag. I don't really mind though, because being prepared makes me stress out less, and ensures I can always fit in a workout.

Blah Week

2009-02-15T09:50:00.006-05:00

Well, I didn't meet a few of my workout goals. Kind of to be expected, but disappointing nonetheless. This week so far:

Monday: Muay Thai Fighting Concepts

Tuesday: AM Bootcamp Style Workout
3 min jumprope
15 min KB (kettlebells)
10+2 treadmill 1.25mi
Mod Pushups, Reverse Crunches, Russian Curls, Bridge, Butt Blast
15lb Dumbbell: Sumo Squats + Bicep curl, side bends, triceps
Swiss Ball: squats, bridge, pelvic tilt, chest press

PM: 30+2 treadmill w/ intervals 3.41mi, spin class
intervals: built speed up to 7 down to 6/6.5, minute intervals

Wednesday: "/> Rest Day. Tuesday was TOO MUCH! The half an hour on the treadmill doing intervals followed by an hour-long grueling spin class was way too much. I should have had at least a clif gel with me after the run, but I went straight to the spin class. Bad move.

Thursday: Bootcamp Style Workout
6min rowing machine (my jumprope broke) 1152m
15min KB
10+1 elliptical 1.06mi (cramped on the treadmill this morning)
mod push ups, rev crunch, bicycle crunch, crunches
2 min jumping jacks, kicks, bob+weave to raise heart rate
Swiss Ball: squats, bridge, chest press, forward leg rolls
15lb dumbbell: side bends, triceps

Friday: 30+2 treadmill intervals 3.53mi
intervals: speed- 7 up to 8, down to 6.5/7 minute intervals, incline- 5 every 3min
stretch + ab work, 30min swim

Saturday: A LAZY Valentine's Day. At least I got an hour walk in!

Sunday: Today since it's supposed to be 40 degrees I'm waiting for noon to go on a long run. Looking forward to it, especially after a lazy Saturday. Have swimming class tonight.

Pudding for Dinner

2009-02-09T21:41:00.005-05:00

First goal of the week, attending the Muay Thai Concepts class, complete. The class involves a lot more partner work than Aiki's other "Muay Thai" classes. There is some light sparring, which was refreshing. It left me wanting more, even though it was an hour long I hardly worked up a sweat.
I got home around 8:15pm and planned on maybe having a smoothie for dinner. I looked around the kitchen, I had an avocado and a pear that needed to be used ASAP, bananas that are browning and I just bought some brown rice protein. I decided on making pudding, and if I had to give it a name, I'd call it "Power Pudding". Blend 1 avocado, 1 banana, a cup or so of soy milk (I use Silk No Sugar Added) and a 50cc scoop of chocolate brown rice protein (I use NutriBiotic). I chopped up some strawberries and a pear to mix in, and sweeten the flavor.
I've used a similar recipe for a raw pudding pie, but I usually add baking chocolate. This pudding is inspired by raw recipes I've seen before, and conceptually it follows Brenden Brazier's 'Thrive Diet'. The proper title of the book is 'Thrive: The Vegan Nutrition Guide to Optimal Performance in Sports and Life'. I read it last year upon reading vegan UFC fighter Mac Danzig's recommendation. Brazier, a vegan triathlete, has some very interesting views on nutrition, and his book is well-researched and really interesting. I don't follow the diet strictly (Brazier does not push his "diet" as a strict regimen) but I do try to incorporate as much of it as I can into my diet.
Most of the book focuses on eating power foods, foods which are highly nutritional. Brazier breaks down many power foods and lists their benefits as well as their disadvantages. I highly recommend reading Brazier's book. Even if you're not interested in following his diet plan, it gives the reader an introduction to new foods which are high in nutrition, and how to cook/prepare them.

Workout Goals for Week of Feb 09

2009-02-08T21:07:00.002-05:00

The main problem with my training is that it lacks structure. This week I hope to have a week similar to last. Hopefully by stating my mission for the week it will give me more incentive to follow through.

Monday: PM Muay Thai Fighting Concepts
This will be my first time going to this class. I was promised sparring. I'm interested to see how it will be.

Tuesday: AM Bootcamp Workout, PM Run, Spin & Swim

Wednesday: AM Kettlebells

Thursday: AM Run, PM Spin & Swim

Friday: AM Bootcamp Workout, PM Body Works + Abs

Saturday: Kettlebells, Kickboxing, hopefully an outdoor run

Sunday: PM Swim Class

First Run of 2009

2009-02-07T17:33:00.005-05:00

First, before I write about the run today, I should say that I finally registered for a triathlon! I'm pretty excited! It's later than I had wanted it to be, but it looks like a really good first race. Basically, the course is FLAT. I figure, a flat course is key for a beginner. I've only raced 5Ks, and even then only two. My experience racing is very, very limited. So, July 19th it is. Seems sooo far away, and I think closer to spring I may sign up for one sooner if I'm feeling really confident. Maybe I'll just sign up for a 10K or a biathlon. We'll see.

I am very pleased with my first run of the new year! I haven't gone for a run outside since Christmas Day. I only ran about 3 miles that day, and I wasn't very happy with my performance. Today felt great! I went after my kettlebell class, starting around 11:30 am. There was still some really icy sections, but I slowed down or jumped onto the road instead of the sidewalk. I knew I was making great time because of the mix I was listening to on my iPod. It was nice to find that running mix fun again, last fall it became so familiar and boring!
I've really been focusing on strength training in my workouts, and I think it really came through on this run. I felt STRONG, like my body was well supported and could take on hills no problem. There's one section heading up into East Rock that's a 4% grade. I focused on my hamstrings while running up it trying to put forth the power I knew I had. At the end of my run I definitely felt like I could have kept running, but I had a hair appointment to go to. (Yeah, I cut off my remaining hair. With swimming, running and being generally out of my mind I decided, no more hair and NO MORE PONYTAILS!!)

Hard Week

2009-02-07T16:19:00.010-05:00

Really stepped it up this week! I started February at a steady pace, I hope I can keep it up!

Monday: 30 + 2 treadmill 3.4 mi
kickboxing + kettlebell work with Kelly

Tuesday: Bootcamp Style Workout
3 min jumprope
15 min kettlebell exercises
10 + 1 treadmill 1.14 mi
Ab work, butt blast
Swiss Ball: bridge, chest press, pelvic tilt
lunges, mod push ups, side bends, triceps
cooldown

Wednesday: AM Kettlebell/Kickboxing

Thursday: AM: 30 + 2 3.51 mi treadmill, side bends, triceps, ab work
PM: 30 + 5 3.07 mi elliptical, 30 min stairmaster, ab work

Friday: AM: Bootcamp Style Workout
3 min jumprope
15 min kettlebell exercises
10 + 1 treadmill 1.13 mi
Swiss Ball: Squats, Bridge, Pelvic Tilt, Chest Press
Kettlebell: Russian Twist, Chest Press, Bridge
Mod Push Ups, roll back, butt blast
PM: Body Works + Abs Class
Weight Machines: Calves, Ab Twist, Squat

Saturday: Kettlebells
First outdoor run of the new year!! 5.91 mi 9:07 pace

Regarding the "Butt Blast" Workout:
It sounds gross, maybe like the after effects of eating at a New Haven burrito cart, but I assure you, the "butt blast" is not as gross as it sounds. I joined "Spark People", a fitness social networking site like a year ago. I'm never on it anymore, but when I first started using the site I really took advantage of their workout logs, nutrition logs and articles. One of the best finds on there is this butt blasting workout video. Looking through my workout log, the first occurrence of the "butt blast" workout is March 4, 2008. It still burns to this day, and I swear by it.

Edited to add: Adding my treadmill and outdoor run together I ran 15 miles this week! Yay!

Slow Build

2009-02-02T20:43:00.008-05:00

Ever so slowly building up my runs. It's too bad I have a fear of slipping and falling to my doom on the ice, otherwise I would be running outside. Half an hour on the treadmill is about all I can stand before I'm bored to tears. I was pretty disappointed at first how "out of shape" I felt, but slowly I'm gaining speed and endurance.

Looking back into my workout log, I realized I've already made progress in the past week:

1/27: 20min + 2min cooldown ? miles
1/28: 30 + 2 cooldown 3.1 miles
1/30: 30 + 2 cooldown 3.23 miles
2/1: 30 + 2 cooldown 3.4 miles

I have also been pretty lazy with my workout log, just seeing the improvement over the past week has reignited my drive to write everything down.

Gave Kelly some kettlebell lessons. I wish kettlebells weren't so expensive! I want to buy a few pairs of 6 and 8kg bells so that I can practice with her. Not to mention doing kettlebell DVDs would probably be fun. I taught her how to do the "Russian Twist", after a few twists she exclaimed, "Can't we do Russian Roulette instead?" I was in hysterics, "Oh I'm totally blogging that!"

Also, my focus mitts came in! It was a lot better doing drills with those rather than the heavy bags at L.A. Fitness. Finally she could get real power behind her punches without hurting her wrists. We pretty much took over the usually empty fitness classroom. I want to buy a "fitness wagon" so I can haul all my kickboxing and kettlebell gear into the room. I feel like I'm doomed to forever carry multiple bags and items with me wherever I go.

Switched Plates

2009-01-29T23:19:00.002-05:00

Monday morning, while I enjoyed my smoothie of spinach, soy milk, chocolate brown rice powder, blueberries, strawberries and a little bit of silken tofu, I gazed out the window and reflected about my diet's well... journey for lack of a better term. I thought about how I got to the point of drinking smoothies every morning. How great it feels to have a nourishing, healthy blend of foods to start my day. I also thought about how in 2008, I had absolutely no meat.
Though I became vegetarian at the start of 2007, I had meat that year when I went to Japan. My boyfriend at the time teaches English there, and one of his students invited us over for dinner. He was a very sweet man with a wonderful family. Unfortunately even though my boyfriend said we were vegetarian, they didn't really understand. They fed us meat. Since refusing food offered is one of the ultimate rude things to do in Japan, we ate it. I felt sick afterward. It was probably more of a mental thing, but I just didn't feel right.
That was the last time I had eaten meat, that is until Monday night. I went to an Italian restaurant. After making sure the marinara wasn't made with meat stock, I ordered Eggplant Parmesan while my friend ordered chicken. Not sure exactly what his meal was, I didn't really pay attention. Anyway when we got our plates they looked totally the same. Long plate with a thin something covered in cheese and marinara.
So I cut into my eggplant and noticed it was really hard. I thought, 'Wow, they really screwed this up.' I inspected the substance on my fork. It was thin enough to be eggplant, it kinda looked like eggplant, so not really thinking much further, I put it in my mouth and chewed. It was so tough! Then I really inspected the plate, the waiter came over. Then I looked at my friend, and realized, they had switched the plates. I started shaking and almost crying. Tears welled up and I was on the verge of hyperventilating. I was just so upset, I felt silly and stupid and duped all at the same time. The waiter quickly switched the plates and apologized. Then he ran into the kitchen and I heard him yelling something like, "I've gotta girl out here crying cause she ate meat!" I think it was more about him telling them to be more careful than annoyance over how upset I was. At any rate they still charged us full price. I felt bad about arguing simply because it's a small local establishment, these are hard times, and there was only one other couple seated.
For the rest of the night I felt sick like I had that time in Japan. I could clearly visualize the meat floating around my stomach. It felt foreign, and wrong and I just wanted it to be gone. People ask me if I'll ever eat meat again, and I honestly can't foresee myself at this point making a conscious decision to eat meat. It feels like a step backwards. I'm still upset over Monday, but there's nothing I can do. I trusted the waiter, especially after he made sure for me the marinara was okay to eat. It wasn't on purpose, but I'm never going back to that place again.

Orange Goodness

2009-01-28T23:13:00.013-05:00

Posting a few awesome recipes I used last week. 'Orange Goodness' since they all include orangey ingredients, and I was sick of S-alliterated titles:

Sweet Potato Salad with Apple and Avocado
(From the February 09 issue of Vegetarian Times)

1 lb sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1 cup frozen corn
1/4 cup unsalted hulled pumpkin seeds or pepitas
1 medium red apple, diced (1 cup)
1/2 small onion, finely chopped

1/4 cup chopped cilantro
1/4 cup lime juice
2 Tbs olive oil

1/2 avocado, finely diced

1. Place sweet potatoes in large saucepan, and cover with water. Bring to a boil, and cook 3 minutes. Add corn, and cook 1 to 2 minutes more, or until potatoes are tender. Drain in colander and rinse under cold water to cool. Drain well.

2. Toast pumpkin seeds in dry skillet over medium-high heat 3 to 4 minutes, or until seeds begin to pop. Transfer to plate, and cool.

3. Combine apple, onion, cilantro and lime juice in large bowl. Stir in sweet potatoes, corn, and oil, and season with salt and pepper, if desired. Stir in avocado and toasted pumpkin seeds just before serving.

Notes: I didn't have the hulled pumpkin seeds or pepitas, so I skipped step 2. It was still delicious without them. I used a full avocado, because honestly half an avocado is never enough. Also, I used canned corn instead of frozen. Served this on a few handfuls of baby spinach.

Sweet Potato Black Bean Burrito

Notes: Click on recipe link to see it on RecipeZaar.com. Instead of baking everything in the tortillas, I put the black bean mixture and sweet potatoes in a food processor and then put it in the microwave for a few minutes to reheat. (Though that might not be necessary, I just timed the sweet potatoes wrong.) I cooked brown rice, and laid the rice out with the sweet potato/black bean mixture on top of warmed tortillas, and then added typical burrito fixins'. Fresh guac, sour cream, cheese and Sriracha (I prefer to call it "cock sauce".) The Sriracha gave the burritos the perfect kick, since I didn't have jalapeños.

Butternut Squash Soup
1 medium butternut squash
3 cups veggie stock
1 onion (chopped)
1T grated fresh ginger (or more if you like)
3 T butter

1. Cut squash in half lengthwise, drizzle with a little olive oil and roast face down in a pan until soft.

2. When almost done, melt butter in a large pot. Add onions and ginger and cook until translucent.

3. Add veggie stock and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cover for 10 minutes.

4. Blend veggie stock mixture with pulp from the squash until smooth.

5. Salt & pepper if needed.

Notes: I added a teaspoon or so of Pumpkin Pie spice and a little extra cinnamon to give it the sweeter taste I was looking for. I recommend using a small onion. Preferably, blend ingredients with a hand blender. Since I didn't have one, I used my blender. I was really happy with how creamy this came out, almost fluffy!

19 Strokes

2009-01-27T09:38:00.003-05:00

A quick post, since I've been sort of busy lately and my roommate needs to stop playing with our wifi.

Went to swim class on Sunday and it went really well... for a majority of the time. The worst part of the class was when we did the catch-up drill while holding sticks. The goal is to remain tall and the stick is used to reinforce the drill's technique. Unfortunately it just seemed to discombobulate me, and I dubbed it "the drowning stick". Luckily everyone in my lane seemed to have major issues using the stick.

Later, while counting strokes I counted 19 in one lap! That is a huge improvement from the 24 I was using just a few weeks ago. They say under 20 is great. In the article, 'Beginner's Guide to Swimming', writer Matt Bean writes: "Elite swimmers like Phelps can easily traverse a 25-yard pool in seven strokes (each hand entry counts as a stroke)." Yeah well... Phelps can suck it. If I was built like a man-sea-monster I could too.

Anyway, on my return lap from counting the 19 strokes, I surfaced to see the other coach (who during my first class made me feel hopelessly terrible) giving me the thumbs up. He said I've definitely improved and seemed really excited by this. So I left class feeling pretty awesome and optimistic about improving even more in the future.

Saturday Morning Sweat Session

2009-01-25T10:08:00.012-05:00

Woke up early on Saturday to catch the kickboxing and kettlebell classes at Aiki. I did my usual whirlwind wake-up, feed cat, feed self, get into workout clothes, find water bottle madness. I was a minute behind schedule, about to head out the door when I looked down to see my car blocked in the driveway. Ugh! My biggest pet peeve. I beat down the roommate's door, moaned, groaned and puffed til he bolted out the door. I was five minutes late to class and my temper was through the roof. I walked in to see the floor completely packed! Largest class I've ever seen there! I'd say about 15 people or so were punching bags and there was no room for me. I threw my gear into the women's dressing room when I heard the owner of Aiki and head trainer, Dennis Hill, call my name. He had focus mits on and told me to get my gloves on.

I was pumped! 1-on-1 training is worlds better than a bag workout. Dennis pushed me for the remaining part of class. We started and ended drills on the same time as the instructor who was teaching the rest of the class. Some of the drills we did were ones I haven't done in ages. Full minute on one leg doing roundhouse kicks, which is always exhausting. We did knee, elbow and teep (front/push-kick) drills and some blocking. Loved it, I was dripping sweat by the end and totally grateful to Dennis for his time.

By the time the kettlebell class started, I was exhausted! I had to go from my usual 8kg (17.6 lbs) kettlebell to the 6 kg (13.2 lbs) kettlebell a few times. Some people have asked about the drills I do in my kettlebell class. This kinda creepy YouTube video is actually a great demonstration of the various drills I do (I recommend you mute it, listening to his grunts and breathing is a little weird, even though I'm very used to hearing it) :

So those are a lot of the standing drills. We also do floor drills which are chest presses, crunches and sit-ups, Turkish Get-Ups (no, I haven't gotten to the child lifting stage yet) and my favorite The Bridge. Unfortunately I can't find a link showing The Bridge exercise we do, so here goes: Lie face-up, knees bent, with feet flat. Hold a weight with each hand at chest level. Squeeze butt and lift it and hips off the floor as you extend arms and press weight toward the ceiling. Bring arms down and backwards until arms are fully extended behind your head. Lift weight back up to over your head, then lower arms, hips and butt to starting position. Repeat. Sounds a lot more complicated than it is, but it feels great on the abs and works butt, hamstrings, abs and arms all at the same time. I do it at the gym with a medicine ball, and a variation of it on the Swiss ball with a dumbbell or medicine ball.

I had planned on going to the gym after my classes, but these two classes were enough! Usually I don't feel so whipped after them, but with such an intense kickboxing session and then the kettlebells, I was done for the day! This morning my shoulders are sore, hopefully it goes away before my swimming class tonight.

Salad, Soup and Spin

2009-01-20T23:20:00.006-05:00

Went to spin class tonight. It was the guy I dislike, as he makes you "jump" the whole class. Jumping is making you stand and sit while spinning, and it sucks. It's not so bad if you stay in the up or down position for 10 seconds or so at a time, but he makes you go up and down too fast. When my knees say no more, I usually tune him out and do my own thing. Unfortunately a major portion of his spin classes are focused on this "jump" routine of his. At the end of class I finally told him that I'm not lazy or being disrespectful, I just don't want to ruin my knees. Fortunately off the bike he is much friendlier, and said that that's fine. During class though he barks and yells the whole time.

When I got home I started the Butternut Squash Soup recipe my coworker gave me. While waiting for the squash to roast, I whipped up an amazing spinach pesto. I've never made it before, and I was nervous but figured it'd be easy. Grabbed a few fistfuls of spinach, chopped up two cloves garlic, threw in some fresh parsley and basil, added olive oil and creamed it in the food processor. Put it over some leftover pasta, and it was so good!

Finally, the Butternut Squash Soup came out good as well! I added cinnamon and "pumpkin pie" spice to the recipe, and it gave it the flavor I was looking for. I think next time I will do it a little more Asian and add coconut milk. I really got into squash soup when I went to Vietnam, I had two different pumpkin soups and they were both fantastic. Will post the Butternut Squash Soup recipe this week.

January Drag

2009-01-19T23:31:00.003-05:00

Getting back into the swing of things has been rough this winter. Took Friday off, Saturday I was still feeling exhausted, and Sunday went to NYC. New York is a dangerous city in that I want to try every morsel of food I see! There is so much to taste and savor! I had a General Tso's "Chicken" wrap at 'sNice in the village. It was tasty but even better was the bite of my friend's "Triple Decker", basically a vegan club sandwich. It was AMAZING! I need to learn how to make it!

Today I dragged myself to a workout and was pleasantly surprised. I was convinced feeling miserable would mean a horrible workout. Started off the treadmill slow and worked my way up to a decent pace. It really helped to listen to a mood boosting standby, Killswitch Engage's 'Alive or Just Breathing' album. It never fails to pick me out of whatever self-pitying funk I'm in. Burned 280 calories in 32 minutes, and ran 2.98 miles. I'm easing back into my old pace and distances.

Did core workout for 30 minutes. My core workout is comprised of exercises I've learned over time. Little by little my "exercise vocabulary" builds. Magazines and fitness classes are where I've learned most of the stuff I do. The swim class I take has a 30 minute pilates session before it, and I've learned a few new exercises. I also love working with a medicine ball. I usually do Russian twists, bridge, and sit-ups with the ball.

Finally I did a half an hour of swimming. I did a few laps of "6 kicks on side", which is a drill I learned from my swim class. Laying on your side with an arm outreached, head looking down, you kick 6 times, bring the other arm forward as you switch sides and breathe, and repeat. It's a lot easier to do in the shallow LA Fitness pool with no one in it, rather than in the deep pool at the Weston Middle School with everyone swimming. I'm a little too impatient for drills, and spent most of the time swimming laps and concentrating on improving my form. I need to do drills though, since they help to make you concentrate on one aspect of your stroke/form at one time.

Stocked up on more fruits and vegetables! Lots of avocados, pears, apples and greens. I bought a rutabaga since they are huge and cheap, and hope to make a mashed rutabaga side my coworker made for me once. Also bought a butternut squash I plan on using for soup. For the train ride back from NYC I bought a copy of 'Vegetarian Times' which had a few recipes I'm excited to try. Hope to try at least one this week.

A Mostly Raw Day

2009-01-16T06:49:00.008-05:00

Wednesday after swimming I decided to incorporate more raw foods into my diet. In my zombie-like visit to the store yesterday, I stocked up on fruits and veggies.

I started eating a diet focused on raw food last spring. Unfortunately, I found out I was allergic to bell peppers after having major GI problems, and kind of fell off the wagon. It scared me off salad for awhile, since I didn't know what was going on. Then, by the start of winter I had become so stressed out, I was hardly cooking, and, sigh... eating Lean Cuisines.

So yesterday I ate mostly raw. I doubt I'll ever go 100% raw, or ever 100% vegan, but I do believe there are real benefits to those diets/lifestyles. Now, if you look up "raw food diet", you will most certainly run across some pretty insane sounding people. They talk about connecting with their food, being brought to emotional states by vegetables, and feeling energy not previously felt with "cooked food". Their descriptions usually remind me of 'The Ecstasy of St Teresa' by Bernini, as their descriptions of their foodgasms go pretty over the top sometimes.

When I eat raw foods, I definitely feel better, it's nice to eat a meal that's so basic, almost primal in a way. Does my "mega salad" of pears, apples, avocado, baby spinach, romaine and dried cranberries move me to states of ecstasy? Um, no but it tastes damn good, and I love knowing exactly what's in my meal. Do I think all the claims raw foodists make are silly? No, even if at first it's a little strange. With any sort of life choice, there are those who go a little overboard, but I do believe raw food is very nutritious, cleansing, and plant-based diets create positive energy.

After work, I went to spin class. The instructor last night usually teaches on Wednesdays and Fridays. I liked her a lot, and I think I'll make an effort to check out more of her classes. She was very positive but had a very authoritative presence, probably because she teaches middle school. After spin my friend Kelly and I went to "cardio pilates". It was... interesting, not horrible, but not exactly what we expected. The instructor is full of sass and bleach, and I hope I have her energy at her age.

Then, after we were done swinging body rings around in pilates, I taught Kelly some Muay Thai basics. It was a great refresher for me to teach somebody else. As I watched her, and really thought about my punches and my form, I had flashbacks to my Krus (Kru is the Thai word for teacher). I remembered a lot of their notes to me about my stance and form. It's pretty easy to remember the basic rule they taught me, "keep your hands up at all times". Very often during pad work if I dropped my hands, they would surprise me with a quick smack to the head. In this rule, I became a quick learner.

Speaking of Muay Thai, I received a shirt I ordered the other day from Antarai Active Wear. It's hard to find Muay Thai related clothes, and almost impossible to find well designed clothes for women! I love a lot of the designs at Muay Thai Stuff but NO women's shirts! I wrote a complaint in the past to them about this. Anyway, I was surprised and delighted my shirt from Antarai came in so quickly! Can't wait to wear it!

"She's a warrior."

2009-01-14T23:14:00.004-05:00

This has been an amazingly long day. It's almost 11:30 pm now, I woke up this morning at 4:50 am. I went to the 5:30 am kettlebell class with what I've dubbed the "Dad Crew". The class consists of me and three guys in their 40s?, two of which are named Sean. Anyway they do 5:30 am on Mondays and Wednesdays. The first 40 min of the Wednesday class is kettlebells, and now the rest of the hour or so is MMA. They do sambo and roll around the floor while I stick to kickboxing. Sorry, as much as I like working out with the Dad Crew, I will not roll around the floor with them, nothing personal.

Anyway, at one point while I was doing bag work I heard Sean #2 say something about me, I think like "She's really getting a workout too." or the like. Then Sean #1 said, "Yea, she's a warrior." It made my day. I much prefer working out with men, even if it makes me the minority. Very often in fitness classes the women chat about their kids or complain. I can't stand it. Shut up and work out, tea time is after class.

So after class, I rushed home and got ready for work. Work, a semi-slow day and damn the temptations! Ate a bagel and chips compliments of my company. The designers are partner rats. We eat the leftovers from meetings with partners. The spread usually involves brownies, chips, cookies, meat filled wraps, and if we're lucky, fruit salad.

After work I had about an hour and a half of free time, which was spent catching up on the latest configuration of the STD venn diagram that is Rock of Love, and headed off to my 'Swimming for Triathletes" class. It begins with half an hour of abs/pilates work, followed by an hour or so of drills. The main coach, Pascale, said I had improved already. I was so glad to hear this. Apparently I don't "snake" anymore, and my kicks are slowly improving. At this point, I'm willing to take ANY improvement. She said it was noticeable that I had been practicing.

Class ends at 9:15, but by the time I'm on the road it's like 9:40. Then it's a 40 min drive back home, oh and I had to stop for groceries. I was pretty much floating through the Stop&Shop. I'm glad I made it home. Guess what?! I get to do this whole schedule again next Wednesday! Thanks MLK JR! Ah, he's worth it, even if I DON'T get the day off :(

Purple Belt

2009-01-13T21:24:00.009-05:00

Tonight I received my "purple belt" in kickboxing. New belts at my current martial arts gym are never very exciting. My old gym in Hartford really made you earn a belt. When I talk about Plus One, I feel like an old woman talking about the days when I'd walk to school uphill both ways in a snowstorm. Testing was usually done in a group setting, but the trainers sat down and watched each student and took notes. They made sure you could complete the guidelines. There was also a certain amount of Thai you had to be able to speak.

Testing at Aiki, for kickboxing at least, is a breeze. The worst part is a minute of push-ups. At Plus One we had to hold the plank position for at least a minute, and they would put medicine balls or kettlebells on your back, and kick your stomach. I vividly remember grimacing and shaking and thinking how awesome it was to be pushed, and the pride I felt when I was moved up to Advanced Muay Thai, or when I received my white sash.
When you received your sash, or were moved up, you were brought to the front of the class, presented with your sash and certificate, and then ceremoniously punched in the stomach.

Now, all I get is a piece of paper, not even a belt. As much as I like Aiki for its kettlebell classes, and just a nice place to practice kickboxing, I really miss learning new techniques, sparring, and being pushed by my trainers.

Sawatdee kaa.

Hello Internet

2009-01-09T19:06:00.002-05:00

The first post... how daunting.

I guess I'll begin with a little about me, and what I plan to achieve by writing this blog.

First a synopsis of my past few years:

Near the end of 2006 I was pretty depressed, constantly tired (I was convinced I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), a tad overweight and out of shape. I spent most of my free time on the couch, and if I did get up to socialize, I usually drank way more than I should have. My life had become a boring routine and I was left feeling constantly unfulfilled. One day I decided I had had enough of being tired, constantly sick, and altogether miserable. I signed up for Muay Thai classes at a local martial arts gym. I also started going to the gym at my apartment complex a few times a week. Most drastically, I decided to go vegetarian.

At the beginning of 2007, when I started to take things really seriously, I lost about 20lbs. I was constantly covered in bruises from sparring, but I wore each bruise as a badge of honor. Even as a thin teenager I was always self-conscious of my thighs, but for the first time ever, I wore shorts and showed off my newly sculpted (albeit bruised) legs. I had more energy and I felt pretty amazing. Mid-2007 I moved down to New Haven, CT and started working as a web designer at a company I actually like. I was psyched when I saw that they have an employee gym, complete with towels and showers!

In 2008 I resolved to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. This quickly turned to 6 or 7 times a week. I mostly stuck to the elliptical, strength training with kettlebells, and doing kickboxing. I had made some amazing progress over 2 years and I was ready to really push myself. In May I decided to start running. I could barely run 5 minutes at first, but quite gradually increased both time and speed. Mid-June I began running outside, something I had attempted many times before but couldn't do. After a lot of research and trials of methods, I finally found ways to reduce the occurrence of the dreaded "runner's stitch" I would always get. With this resolved, I began adding miles. In September I ran my first 5K, finishing with a net time of 25:15, and later in October finished a 5k at 24:12, and placed 3rd for my division. By the end of the season my morning runs were reaching 7 miles.

During all this, I had also started biking a lot more. Since I was already running and biking, I thought, why not swim too? I joined a gym with a pool, and started swimming on a regular basis. At one point I decided that 2009 would be the year I would try my first triathlon.

Over the course of 2008 I had done a lot of research into nutrition, exercise and triathlon training. I follow a few blogs, and I'm always interested in how others tackle such a unique sport. Since there aren't that many triathlete bloggers that are vegetarian, I thought I could add something to the community. I hope to post recipes I enjoy, as well as my nutritional methods, book and product reviews, athletic inspirations, and the trials and tribulations I'll encounter while obtaining my goal. Basically, I hope to be the blogger I was constantly searching for. Hopefully there are people out there who will actually be interested! If not, it'll at least be a documentation of my lifestyle, and a place where I can reflect on my progress and an organized catalog of recipes and memories.