DNF - Bloomin' Metric

I didn't finish the Bloomin' Metric. I didn't even come close. 30 miles in I gave up.

I woke up early, got all my gear together and sped down to Norwalk going 90 most of the way. I should have left 10 minutes earlier than I did. In the car I realized my legs were tight, they felt like knotted roots, but I was hoping after the first few miles they'd loosen up. (Spoiler Alert: They didn't.) So I get to my friend's place, wait for her other friend who was riding, and we left for the ride. It was cold, windy and cloudy, I referred to it as the Gloomin' Metric. We get our wrist bands, T-Shirts and head out.

At first I was keeping up with them, but slowly I dropped back. I wasn't worried I knew my legs were shot and I needed some time to warm up. I'd get closer to them but never up with them. Eventually I lost sight of them. I rode on my own, in a head full of negativity. "This is ridiculous, you're not going to finish." "You're going to have to find the sag wagon, you're beat up." Yeah those were my thoughts on probably the 5th mile! I was dealing with some heavy mental and physical barriers. I didn't want to do it at all.

I finally met back up with them at the first food stop. I ate a PB&J, a banana and an oatmeal raisin cookie. They looked at me and could tell I was beat. "I think I'm over trained," I said. They asked what I did this week. "I swam 4,000 yards, ran a total of 13 miles, uhh kickboxing, kettlebells, oh a computrainer class... uhhh yeaaah I think I'm over trained." They looked at me like I was insane and agreed I was indeed pushing my limits. We stretched and I was of course ridiculously tight. Back on the bikes, I again kept up with them but the course just went up, up and up. The hills on the Bloomin' Metric are what I'd refer to later as a "non-stop vertical assault". My glutes were killing me! I would pass people on the hills, but once we got to straight and flat areas people were going past me. I tried to follow people's cadences but my legs would not listen to me. It's like they didn't even belong to me. I'd push and they'd say, "No I'm going to do this cadence with this amount of effort and you can fuck off."

At the "Indesicion Split" where you can choose the 100K path or the 75K I said goodbye to my friend. No way was I doing 100K, and I think when I admitted that I had kind of given up a lot more. I rode alone, no chance of catching up with them. My head was now full of negative thoughts. I pushed on. I tried to be positive but I felt like I was completely lying to myself. I passed the food stop again, as it was on a loop, and stopped there again to figure out how far I had gone. I got back on and passed an intersection with a traffic cop and the sag wagon. The truck looked so good to me but I went on. Then I realized I was going to have to follow the same road I had just went on an hour before. I was going to have to do it all over again and I said fuck it. I could barely do it the first time, I'm a glutton for punishment but even I have my limits.

I rode back to where the sag wagon was, trying to figure out if I indeed had to ride up that way again (I only had a 100K map on me). I got one pedal free and then somehow just fell right in front of the cop directing traffic. The looked down at me and said I was done. "Yeah, I'm toast. I can't do it." Luckily the sag wagon guy was pretty awesome and we "bonded" during the ride. As we were driving the course I kept asking, "This is it? This is what I'd have to be riding?" and he'd say yes, and every time my mind was blown. There was just no way. I literally felt like there was no strength whatsoever inside me.

So that's that. I guess I feel a mix of resignation, disappointment and well, that I did the right thing. I learned I have to listen to my body and sometimes it's just better to let that registration money go to the cause and take the day off. I knew I was pushing it, and I knew my body was exhausted but I thought I could just push through it. The day before, I was telling people if I hadn't registered I wouldn't even go. I guess I can be happy that even over trained and exhausted I pushed through 30 hilly miles. I also learned not to sign up for a long event like that less than a week before it. I was not ready, and I was not trained for that event. I was acting like it was just a long training ride. I need to build up to that kind of mileage before I go for broke and do it. I think the furthest I've gone on the bike is 40, and a flat 40 at that. Adding 20 hilly miles to that was a huge stretch. So today is a rest day, I'm eating my humble pie and taking it easy.