The Ups and Downs of Running

This post is brought to you by my favorite product of all. Bird's Eye Classic Mixed Vegetables. They are the perfect accompaniment to black beans and rice, they are cheap, and easily transportable. They are also my favorite ice packs.

Yesterday afternoon was beautiful. I had to show my apartment since I'm looking for a new roommate, so I couldn't go to spin class as usual. Nor would I have anyway since it was so nice out. After I showed the apartment, I decided to go for a run. I wanted to go 6 miles. At first my run was going great! By the time I hit the downtown area of New Haven, I was running just under 8 minute miles! I was pumped and I kept at it, pumping myself up more with positive affirmations. I did hill intervals during my morning workout, and it seems I immediately see a speed increase after those sessions. I kept telling myself I need to do more hill intervals because I was going so fast!

I felt great, I looked great. I've committed myself to doing abdominal workouts every other day (which I will post more about later) and it's really starting to show. All was going well until I tripped on a grate in the sidewalk I've run over a dozen times. I hit the ground, HARD. Two ladies who were several yards ahead of me where turned around when I got myself up. My shoulder and knee immediately began to burn. I looked over to my shoulder, it glowed red. I paused my iPod, and one of the ladies yelled, "It only hurts for a minute! Were you running?" "Yes."

I walked forward, a bit defeated. Every time I'm feeling awesome about myself and my progress I get smacked down. It's become an Icarus complex, I can never fly high without getting burnt. I muttered expletives and thought about what I was going to do. Am I going to walk home? What would I tell people? What would I write on my blog? Haha. I thought to some encouraging words my friend Maura had just texted me an hour or so before. She told me how I was an inspiration to her, and that she's been running more. I was so touched, and happy to hear that. I needed that. I've been having a down week, I feel weak but I have no real explanation. I think with the whole roommate situation and some other thoughts I've been having, on top of lack of sleep, has just gotten to me. I wanted to cry, I almost cried. I had a flashback to Muay Thai sparring, when I got the wind knocked out of me. The trainer was right next to me again screaming "Don't CRY! DON'T CRY!! SUCK IT UP!" And so I sucked it up, and swallowed it down like a rancid shot of cheap whiskey.

So all this ran through my head at a thousand miles an hour. Not even a minute after falling, I turned my iPod back on, I restarted my now scraped up Garmin and started running. No way I was walking home. What if I fell during a race? I think I need some injury perseverance training. I passed a woman who was smiling at me, like really smiling. I couldn't tell if she was smiling at me because I'm tattooed (which is usually the case) or if she could tell I was injured (my shoulder was a brilliant shade of lava) and realized I kept on running. Most likely it was just the tattoos, but I decided to go with, "She thinks I'm awesome because I got back up."

So I ran, debating the entire time whether I was doing more harm than good, or if this wasn't such a bad idea. By the time I got to my street I was feeling "good". Okay, I was in pain, but the rest of me wanted at least another mile. I fell at mile 2.5 and I was now a mile past that, so I decided to push myself even more. I went down Whitney a little more before I turned onto a road that was sort of heading back home. I was running sub 8:30 min miles. I kept going and by the time I was nearing my apartment I was really in pain. In the end I ran 4.28 miles with a pace of 8:23. Had I not injured myself I probably would have had a pace of 8 or even below. Still, under 8:30 is fine with me.

Excuse me Mr. Flamingo, it seems your head has exploded.

It looks so lame! The real pain isn't the scrape, it's my complete shoulder. During my cool down walk I tried to move my shoulder, and I heard that digital noise in my head, the sound a camera flash used to make when it charges. Shit. This is bad. I only hear that noise if I'm about to pass out or I'm in a lot of pain. As soon as I got home I took two bags of Bird's Eye Mixed Vegetables, laid on my mat, and put one on my shoulder and one on my knee and just laid there. I looked up at the ceiling wondering how bad it was, or if I was just being dramatic. After the icing I put Ziploc bags with wet microwaved towels in them on my injuries. Then Google said not to do that. Only long term injuries get heat. But the heat felt so good! The ice made me stiff and hurt more. So I iced again, and took a shower, which loosened up my shoulder and knee again.

This morning I debated working out, because I'm insane. Luckily I realized I'm insane, and opted for a rest day. Because sometimes I need to admit I'm human, which is hard for me to do. I'm sore, and I keep trying to stretch out and move my shoulder. Luckily my knee isn't so bad. So I will probably go to the gym after work, to go to the sauna and hopefully loosen it up some more. I know they say not to heat it, but it makes it feel so much better. I think the muscles are just knotted up, and hopefully I will be able to swim this weekend.

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DNF - Bloomin' Metric

I didn't finish the Bloomin' Metric. I didn't even come close. 30 miles in I gave up.

I woke up early, got all my gear together and sped down to Norwalk going 90 most of the way. I should have left 10 minutes earlier than I did. In the car I realized my legs were tight, they felt like knotted roots, but I was hoping after the first few miles they'd loosen up. (Spoiler Alert: They didn't.) So I get to my friend's place, wait for her other friend who was riding, and we left for the ride. It was cold, windy and cloudy, I referred to it as the Gloomin' Metric. We get our wrist bands, T-Shirts and head out.

At first I was keeping up with them, but slowly I dropped back. I wasn't worried I knew my legs were shot and I needed some time to warm up. I'd get closer to them but never up with them. Eventually I lost sight of them. I rode on my own, in a head full of negativity. "This is ridiculous, you're not going to finish." "You're going to have to find the sag wagon, you're beat up." Yeah those were my thoughts on probably the 5th mile! I was dealing with some heavy mental and physical barriers. I didn't want to do it at all.

I finally met back up with them at the first food stop. I ate a PB&J, a banana and an oatmeal raisin cookie. They looked at me and could tell I was beat. "I think I'm over trained," I said. They asked what I did this week. "I swam 4,000 yards, ran a total of 13 miles, uhh kickboxing, kettlebells, oh a computrainer class... uhhh yeaaah I think I'm over trained." They looked at me like I was insane and agreed I was indeed pushing my limits. We stretched and I was of course ridiculously tight. Back on the bikes, I again kept up with them but the course just went up, up and up. The hills on the Bloomin' Metric are what I'd refer to later as a "non-stop vertical assault". My glutes were killing me! I would pass people on the hills, but once we got to straight and flat areas people were going past me. I tried to follow people's cadences but my legs would not listen to me. It's like they didn't even belong to me. I'd push and they'd say, "No I'm going to do this cadence with this amount of effort and you can fuck off."

At the "Indesicion Split" where you can choose the 100K path or the 75K I said goodbye to my friend. No way was I doing 100K, and I think when I admitted that I had kind of given up a lot more. I rode alone, no chance of catching up with them. My head was now full of negative thoughts. I pushed on. I tried to be positive but I felt like I was completely lying to myself. I passed the food stop again, as it was on a loop, and stopped there again to figure out how far I had gone. I got back on and passed an intersection with a traffic cop and the sag wagon. The truck looked so good to me but I went on. Then I realized I was going to have to follow the same road I had just went on an hour before. I was going to have to do it all over again and I said fuck it. I could barely do it the first time, I'm a glutton for punishment but even I have my limits.

I rode back to where the sag wagon was, trying to figure out if I indeed had to ride up that way again (I only had a 100K map on me). I got one pedal free and then somehow just fell right in front of the cop directing traffic. The looked down at me and said I was done. "Yeah, I'm toast. I can't do it." Luckily the sag wagon guy was pretty awesome and we "bonded" during the ride. As we were driving the course I kept asking, "This is it? This is what I'd have to be riding?" and he'd say yes, and every time my mind was blown. There was just no way. I literally felt like there was no strength whatsoever inside me.

So that's that. I guess I feel a mix of resignation, disappointment and well, that I did the right thing. I learned I have to listen to my body and sometimes it's just better to let that registration money go to the cause and take the day off. I knew I was pushing it, and I knew my body was exhausted but I thought I could just push through it. The day before, I was telling people if I hadn't registered I wouldn't even go. I guess I can be happy that even over trained and exhausted I pushed through 30 hilly miles. I also learned not to sign up for a long event like that less than a week before it. I was not ready, and I was not trained for that event. I was acting like it was just a long training ride. I need to build up to that kind of mileage before I go for broke and do it. I think the furthest I've gone on the bike is 40, and a flat 40 at that. Adding 20 hilly miles to that was a huge stretch. So today is a rest day, I'm eating my humble pie and taking it easy.

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